Thanks for the replies and the support!  It is frustrating.  The funny thing is - my weight wouldn't have bothered me if that had been it when I first stepped on the scale - but to be down 20 and feeling good, and then go up that much in 2 days - it just about killed me! :)  But, I won't give up.

I went and did my regular training session last night, and it went well.  I felt good.  I think the hot yoga is working.  It is hot, but it feels kind of good to sweat all that stuff out too.

Anyway, thank you again for the support and understanding.  You both are doing great, and it is always nice to hear your successes.

Heather.

I've hit a bumpy road - and actually it's not a bump that I expected. After shedding so much weight, I have a lot of hanging skin that is really depressing. I just want to have plastic surgery to lop it off so I will feel better in my clothes and look more normal. I've been hanging out in the plastic surgery board and PMing with Ruth and I've had the reality check from Ruth that you need to shed all the excess weight before having plastics for the best results. My goal is to have a normal BMI - and if I have plastics now and then continue to shed more weight, I'll end up with loose, unattractive skin again. And Ruth had her breast lift done too early and had to have it redone later - I only want to fix this excess skin once - I can't afford to keep going back for more surgery, and I only want to have the pain and recovery once.

Last weekend I visited my kids and DD#1 had been overweight and shed down to normal and she saved her old clothes for me - and I was shocked that I fit into some of it. When I got home I tried on this wonderful Ann Taylor dress and jacket that she gave me - a suit I adored when she bought it never realizing that I could fit into it two years later. But I'm glad she didn't see me try it on - it's sleeveless and my arms are just horrendous. I can' only wear 3/4 or full length sleeves. And then my stomach is so bizarre looking as I squi**** into clothes - and I can't stop having a muffin top no matter what I do. I knew I would have hanging skin, that's not a surprise, but what I didn't expect is how bad I feel about it. It really affects how my clothes look.

And to top it off, my weight shedding has slowed down to a real snail pace - of course it's logical because I'm not lugging around all this fat all day long. I just can't starve myself to shed the weight more quickly. My diet is very clear that I'm to eat until I'm satisfied, I'm not to go around hungry. And I don't want to punish myself by withholding food - I enjoy my food.

So I have to just be patient and allow my weight to shed slowly at it's own rate and to learn to just accept this hanging skin until it's the right time to visit the plastic surgeon. I've just got to come to terms with how my body is shaped now. I am happy that the fat is gone, I see some people say they would rather be fat that have this ugly skin, but not me, I'd rather have hanging skin than fat. I am also happy about a lot of the changes in my body - if you don't look at the stomach or upper arms, I'm happy with the way I look in clothes. I just have to learn to love the lumpy stomach and airplane wings.

Well I'm sorry this is long, I just had to vent and maybe you have some wisdom to share with me.

I'm sending you giant cyberhugs ((((Heather)))) - this isn't easy. I think Michelle's response is really great. Shedding weight is not a fast race and then you arrive nice and skinny for the rest of your life - it doesn't work that way. Rather this is about making permanent changes in the food choices you make - enough to shed the weight and then to maintain the loss. It is hard, you're fighting against this obesigenic society in which fattening, addicting ,easy and cheap food is available everywhere and you have to fight all that. In addition, no one has it always perfect and always easy - we all have times when we slip or get frustrated or fall off the wagon - it's part of being human - the trick is to jump right back on to the wagon to continue the journey.

I don't know how you can do Hot yoga - yikes, that too hot for me. I bet you got seriously dehydrated from it and that could account for a difference in weight - due to lots of water loss. And then the water returns as you eat and drink again.

Please don't be depressed, just try to get that determination back - and venting here is a great idea because it helps you feel better.

Myself, I'm going through a frustration period - I'm so sick of my hanging skin and I can't wait to lop it off. I've been emailing back and forth with Ruth to help get a reality check. I know some people end their journey early when it gets hard to shed more weight and then get plastic surgery - but it's best to wait until you've lost all the excess fat because the surgery is easier and the results are better. I too just have to get my determination back to continue the journey until the end before having plastics. I am thankful that I will be able to afford plastics because I'm going to need it.

I hope that we can help get you back on track.

I'm so glad you posted.  I check out the non-op forum every now and again to see if any of the old timers have checked in.

Can't wait until you get your website up and going.  I could do with some good recipes.  I'm currently sifting through Egg Face's, but would love another one.

I'm glad you and sig ot are doing well.

Melinda

I haven't been on here much lately - and mostly because I feel like a loser (not the good kind either).  I wasn't exercising as much, and I certainly wasn'****ching what I was eating.  I was sure I had gained back the 12 pounds I lost in March.

I refused to step on the scale in April - I just knew the news would be bad.

Sunday I started doing hot yoga.  It has been good, and I was feeling pretty good.  Tuesday morning I stepped on the scale - I figured I just needed to know wher I was at.  I was shocked - it showed that I had lost another 8 pounds, for a total of 20 pounds.  I was feeling GREAT!   For the first time, I actually felt like I could do this!  I was "faking it" before when I said I thought I could, but Tuesday and Wednesday I genuinely felt like it was a possibility.

Then, this morning I stepped on the scale again - and it was up 12 pounds from where it had been Tuesday morning, and I am beyond depressed now. I feel like giving up.  I don't want to, but that motivation I felt after weighing myself Tuesday is all gone.  I just want to curl up in bed and cry.

I knew this journey would be long and hard, but I feel so depressed over everything right now - my work, my marriage, my parenting...what is the point of fighting it??

Sorry, I needed to vent a little.  I hope everyone's week is going better than mine! 

Heather.