Understanding Obesity

Hi ladies, I posted this to the main board, and thought I would share it here as well. Hello folks, I don't often post to the main board, I am a non-op so I stay mainly on the non-op board. But this topic is relevant to all that are or were once obese. Today is another holiday, and as always holidays are rife with food and things that aren't so friendly to those with food addictions. I had my sister and her family over to share the holiday. I made a lasagna and meatballs, sausage and breadsticks as well as a big spring salad. I had planned to have just a couple of meatballs and some salad. I also baked chocolate chip cookies and put out small bowls of hersheys kisses and resees peanut butter balls. When my sister came over she said "I hope you aren't on your diet today and if you are you can cheat just this one day and go back tomorrow." I love my sister but other than a small weight problem following the birth of her children, she doesn't live the life of the obese. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't sure I would stop once I started, and that I chose not to start. I haven't gone off of my program since I began 9 months ago, the fear is that palpable. She argued that she "cheated" on her diet all all the time and that if I didn'****ch out I was going to begin to have an "anorexic mind set." Folks, I am petrified of going back again. I am so afraid that if I eat one peanut butter egg that the next 50 aren't far behind. I wish people would understand for one moment what it's like to live in the head of a morbidly obese person, much less the body. Thanks for listening, I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, whichever you choose to celebrate. Donna

I know what you mean Donna........ That is how my binges have occured..... I have tried to have just one.... and the next thing I know the whole bag or box is gone !!!!!! So I choose not to try "just one cookie or chip" or have them in the house !!!!!!! It's sad but it is the safe way for me. I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. I did not even tempt myself. I was good. Phyllis

Thank you Phyllis, You said what I truly needed to hear!!! I mostly don't have it in the house, for obvious reasons. But with a young son and a man who likes a little bit more than sugar free fudgsicles!!!, I try to have nice things at least around the holidays. I truly don't have a problem with them, because I just don't eat them. I have some amazingly and shocking will power when it comes to doing things around food these days. In the past I would "hide" food pretending that it was gone, or in the garbage, and then gorge on it later. I hate remembering those old times. Tonight I packed up food and sent it home with my sister, as well as packing up candy and putting it in the car for going to work on Tuesday. I leave nothing to change. I cannot do just one. Sometimes I think I can, but I know I can't. Thank you for making me realize I'm not wrong, nor am I the only one. Donna

Hey everyone this is Charlie, Donna's son, LoL I agree with my mother and Phyillis, once you feed into temptation its very hard to get out of it.....and people especially on holidays like for example Easter which has been commercialized as a gift giving (yet again) holiday.....but this holiday consists of sweet treats and when you recieve one and look at the giver with displeasement and disappeal they look at you like your crazy.......then you feel as if you are obligated to divulge into this treat knowing its wrong but you cant help it.....then you got the people who are like me who will get it and pawn it off onto their father and friends but be tempted to try it just because of the last 16 Easters and Christmases etc that I have been part of and come into routine habit with......

Hey Everyone this is Charlie Donna's kid LOL All of it is just one big loss of words on obesity.....people as you said to me dont understand certain things.......and when they sit there and look at you like you are crazy when you look disappealed at the fact they gave you candy or some type of sweet treat you feel like a bad and ungrateful person which causes you to become upset and then eating.....one thing you know is going to be wrong somehow ends up wronger in the end

I just wanted to say Hi Charlie............. And welcome to our board......... Please don't be a stranger !!!!!! You are a handsome, bright and smart young man........ Your mom is the best !!!!!!!! Phyllis

Hi there pumpkin I'm glad you are here and I'm glad you are conscious of what it is you need to do. We've talked about this quite a bit. I hope you can get the same support from these beautiful people as I do. I love you. Mom

Dear Donna: Everybody is different. I can go right back on my normal cheating plan after "cheating". But I know some people can't. This may be because once they get certain foods in their system, they get out of control, and have to try extra hard until that sugar, white flour, or whatever it is is out of their system again. I commend you for sticking with your plan, that is hard to do with well-wishing relatives around. Telling you you have an "anorexic mind-set" is so unfair! Denise Phares

Hey Denise, I agree with it being a great achievement to not cheat on the diet at all, but its not that people (as far as I see) get out of control but its more to the line of the mindset becoming well I can have 1 and not need another 1....then the next day having 1 knowing you can have 1 and stop and then before you know it you eating so much more then 1 and the scale is "broken" atleast thats what we all want to think....I fully understand what your saying and for many people that is the problem "having it in their system" but some people its just the mindset, and the possible fear of becoming what they used to be.

Donna, I understand what you are saying...I lived like that for a long time. As time has passes though and I've been at or very near my goal weight for more than a year and a half, I have been able to control the beast with the "bad" foods. Yesterday my husband and I went to a buffet for dinner at a BBQ restaurant. Yes, I was insane...I suggested it however. I wanted a BBQ rib and by God I was going to have it. The buffet also had prime rib and baked chicken and smoked sausages and ham in pineapple sauce. I did the salad bar first...did pretty well. Then fixed a small plate of the food items I wanted. I could still see lots of plate which my brain made note of...so different from the past. I ate that, felt very fine even though I had about 1/3 cup of Mashed potatoes, same of a green bean casserole thing, 1 beef rib, about 6 ounces of prime rib and about 2 Tablespoons of baked beans. Way more than I should have eaten given the fat ratio etc. I sat for a while and decided to get another rib. I ate that. Then I knew I was finished. Not another thought about the buffet. This morning I felt like I had poison in my system. Not sick, just not tip top. I am thrilled that I could feel that! That tells me that my body has truly changed. Today I'm right back on and not having any difficulty. We'll see how tonight goes when my husband goes to bed and I need to replace eating with stretching. Yesterday wasn't good but I feel in control today. I probably won't have prime rib or BBQ ribs again for years. I think that occasionally letting myself have what I am craving is healthy. Very rarely maybe rather than occasionally. I want to be thin the rest of my life. So far so good. Thanks for listening. Mary