The Reality of Weight Goals

Hi everyone, I was thinking last night as I was pondering this weeks weight loss about the goals we set for ourselves regarding weight. Of course I am comparing myself to others on this board to get a type of benchmark about where I should be heading. I know that we all get a "normal" weight range chart and that dictates where we should end up. For me that weight is somewhere in the mid 160's. The problem is, I don't remember being at 160 ever. The lowest I consciously remember getting at was 167 and that was after losing 30 pounds on a totally liquid diet when I was 18 years old. I was 190 pounds when I got married at age 20. I remember so succinctly the woman fitting me for my wedding dress. It was a size 16, we all know they run freakishly small. I had gone from 210 to 190 on some ridiculous fad diet, and it was one of the final fittings. She was bringing the back of the dress together and it was still too snug. She put her hands on my ribcage and said "you can't lose another ounce here." She had to take out the dress a few inches and from pictures it is easy to see that in no way was I a fat person, not even a slight bit. I was, as my Dad always called me, "a big girl." My sisters and my mother all top the height charts at 5'3". I am 5'7". Their feet are a comfortable 7 1/2, mine were always at least a 9 1/2. So at around 200 pounds I was a size 13/14 Juniors. Even after losing the 20 pounds I was in an 11/12 juniors. I remember fondly a pair of jeans I wore at that time. So after this long rambling post the question is?? How realistic should our goals be? At this point I set a goal of 200 for myself. That will be 152 pounds down. Will I force my body to stop at that goal?? No, I definitely won't. But I am finally wondering where it will find its happy weight. Back at 350 I couldn't fathom ever wondering this, but here I am 9 months later doing just that. Do our bodies stop at some point and say enough? I don't even know how I will stop losing. What will I change to do this? I am going to ride this wave until it dies, but I do wonder. Any comments? Have a beautiful day. Donna

Donna, It sounds like you are going through something similar to what I was going through a few months bac****pt wondering of my goal was low enough. You will know when you get there. As for how to stop losing, I added 1 serving of food each week. Not pizza, candy, cakes, or pies; but the same kind of food I had been eating. 1/2 serving of protein or 1 fruit or 1 starch, etc. You are doing so good. It does work and you can maintain. Lynette

Hi Lynette, Thank you for your response. You know, it's ironic. I couldn't imagine ever hitting a goal weight before. My only focus was not to get even bigger. I didn't own a scale, avoided them and mirrors at all costs, and never quite realized the implications of being as big as I was. Now it's a whole new set of issues that I deal with. I never imagined I'd lose enough to be at this point. It's staggering! But what you said, about knowing when I get there, makes a whole lot of sense in its simplicity. I have a few months before this becomes an issue, so I'm just going to keep doing what I am doing, and take it as it comes. Donna

Hi Donna, I've given it a lot of thought also. I'm 5'3 and would love to weigh between 115 - 120, but I don't see that happening. Right now I am targeting 130. But with all this extra skin I have I'm not so sure that can happen and PS may not be an option for me. So I'm thinking between 130-140 as that is a Normal BMI. But that is so far away from where I am now, I'm just taking it a pound at a time One thing I have changed over the past few weeks is that I am going to start enjoying the journey of losing weight a little bit more. Before I was like, hurry up and get below 300, hurry up and get below 275 hurry up and get below 250. And I would get so frustrated with delays. Now that I almost down 100 pounds with about 60 more to go. I'm just going to enjoy how wonderful I feel now Ann

Hi Ann, I agree with that entirely, enjoying the process. I remember a few months back wondering when I was going to stop this. Then I realized I never have to stop this, that I have adopted a whole new eating plan and it makes me feel good and look good and overall I am healther, so why stop? I was still looking at this whole process as having a beginning and an end. I was also worried that one day it would stop working. I was afraid that all the food demons would come back and I would end back up at 350 pounds. But honestly I do not see that happening now. I am freakishly in control, as I have mentioned before. The other day I cut a piece of cake for my son and wiped the icing off of my fingers with a napkin. My son was shocked and said "you are a disgrace to cake eaters everywhere." Honestly I really don't want the cake, or the icing, or the junk food. I truly don't. I really have it beaten, in my eyes. Once I get to whatever goal I have I am going to have a bite of cake or a piece of whatever at a celebration. I know now that I really can do that. But for now I continue down, wondering where I am going to end up, and yes, enjoying every moment of it. Thanks for responding, and you are doing fantastic! Donna

Hi Donna......... I was reading the replies and I have to agree with Ann's take. I am going to start enjoying the weight loss that I have accomplished so far. I am down 145 pounds and have a lot of loose skin issues too. I was getting very frustrated that I could not get in the 140's........ I think this is just my body telling me to slow down !!!!!!! so it can catup !!!!!!! I am 5'5 and my normal bmi is 150 which I am 5 pounds away from. When I get there I will be okay. My goal is 145. However, I am in a size 10 (some 8's) which is a great NSV. I have heard goal sizes is a good way to evaluate our weight loss progress also. You are doing an outstanding job !!!!!!!!! And you and your body will know when you reach your "just right goal" Phyllis

Hi there Phyllis, You are right as well. I think we are all guilty of wanting that much more, not being happy what we have worked so hard to achieve. I wonder why I wasn't feeling like such an overachiever at 350 pounds??? Huh??? I am down to a size L or XL in shirts from all NORMAL stores. I am wearing a size 18 REGULAR that I bought from Old Navy. And even some of those pants are getting big! Before this journey I was wearing a size 26/28 shirt and I couldn't even get into a pair of 30/32 pants. And these clothes could only be bought at either The Avenue or Lane Bryant. I couldn't even fit into a 3X from a plus size womans department because it really only equates to a size 22/24 in those stores. So I guess it's human to want more, but yes we have to step back and say, hey, I'm doing wonderfully, and enjoy it while we are there. Thank you Phyllis, as always Donna

Hi y'all. I had my physical a couple of weeks ago and with the butt, leg, arm and boob skin I still have flapping on my body I asked the doctor what a good weight for me was. She started in on the BMI. I said, yeah, but does that really apply to me because of the skin? (She's new to me and I don't know how I feel about her yet. She hasn't seen the transformation of losing 180lbs. My doctor of about 20 years just retired.) She said that I probably didn't fit the bill for that so I asked her again what was a good weight for me? She replied, "Well, your BMI..." I interrupted her and said, so...your gonna hang your hat on the BMI? She said yes. So here I am, 5'9" weighing between 170 and 175 lately and 169 is the top of my BMI since I'm 52 years old. Still considered overweight. I work out 2+ hours a day 5 days a week and follow the Weigh****cher plan pretty dang closely with occasional decisions to eat a bit extra. Am I happy with that? No, I want to weigh 165 and I don't want to have to have the plastic surgeries to get there. My body however may not want to play along. I'll never be finished, this is now my life and it may not ever become routine. I'm wearing size 8s and 10s and before I would have told you a 12 would have been my idea of amazing to fit into. A Medium in almost anything works well. I'm gonna keep trying to get to that 165 and stay between that and 170. I also am looking around for someplace to get an underwater body fat test. I want to know what my lean mass to body fat is. I know that I can't fail unless I quit trying. Not that I have failed anyway but you know what I mean. Good Luck to us all! Mary

Hi Mary, I know how you feel about what your doctor said. I know my doctor still believes I can get to 160 pounds. I detailed in my post why I wasn't sure that was entirely possible. I feel 100% better then I did at over 350 pounds. If I never get to my doctors goal I will be fine with that. I want to get to my own goal, and even a couple of pounds below. I'd truly like my weight to start with the number one. However, I am thankful for each shred of strength I have been able to attain through this journey. Thank you for your response. Donna

As I said in another post, I never thought much about goal weight. This is all about my health and quality of life. According to the BMI chart, I am still obese. I don't look obese, I don't move like an obese woman, and I don't feel obese. I feel fit and strong. I'd love to get below 200 pounds, but I've been at this weight for more than a year. I'm not willing to cut back my calories to 1,200, and I can't safely exercise more than the one hour to two hours I've been doing most days for nearly two years. So this is what my body wants to way at this caloric consumption and exercise level. Best of luck. Kasey 365/210 (nonop)