Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem: Your Weight-Loss Maker or Breaker? Anna Delany and Pat Fiducia Self-esteem affects all areas of your life. What you do, how you do it, how you treat yourself and others and how much you enjoy life are all affected by your level of self-esteem. If you have low esteem you're unlikely to be as motivated to take care of yourself physically, or achieve your goals, as someone with higher self-esteem; and that means weight control will be more difficult for you. The benefits of good self-esteem don't stop at your waistline though; improving your self-esteem affects your whole life and the lives of those around you for the better. Weight control made (more) difficult Poor self-esteem encourages a negative and distorted body imageLosing weight is challenging at the best of times, but with poor self-esteem it becomes even more difficult. If you don't think you deserve to look and feel good, why bother? Poor self-esteem encourages a negative and distorted body image, meaning you drastically undervalue your body and appearance; this in turn discourages you from taking care of yourself. And if you don't want to take care of yourself, where is your motivation to control your weight? If you have low self-esteem it's also likely that you don't give yourself enough credit for achievements, focusing on what you haven't done instead of what you have. For example, if you go for a twenty-minute walk, you tell yourself you should have gone for forty minutes. This sort of self-discouragement can be a major problem for achieving goals; who wants to keep trying when they feel they are constantly failing? On the other hand, if you have high self-esteem, you believe that you deserve to feel and look better, you congratulate yourself for small achievements, and believe in your ability to eventually achieve your long-term goal of permanent weight loss. Taking care of yourself and your body is a natural extension of high self-esteem. Seven steps to better self-esteem Self-respect is key to improving self-esteemSelf-esteem isn't something set in concrete; if you want to improve your self-esteem you can. But it also doesn't happen overnight. Finding the skills to manage your self-esteem takes time, commitment, support, and sometimes professional assistance. Ultimately, improving your self-esteem is about changing your frame of mind. The best way to do this is to consistently affirm yourself while acting in ways that you find praiseworthy and which support your idea of what makes a good person. For inspiration and guidance on improving self-esteem, we've come up with seven helpful steps. Dig deep with these; they may seem simple, but if you truly follow them, they will have a dramatic impact on your self-esteem. Redefine yourself. How do you see yourself? List your five best qualities. Now list your five worst qualities. If it took you a long time to come up with five good qualities, what are you forgetting? Have you overlooked the fact that you are a good friend, co-worker, sibling or parent? Have you remembered your intelligence and humor or the way you smile? Select positive aspects of your self-description and repeat these to yourself every day. When a weakness or flaw rears up, decide if, in the grand scheme of life, it's worth the effort to change. If it's worth changing, set some goals and work on it. If not, stop hanging on to it as evidence to support your low self-esteem! Live right. Increasing your self-esteem is not just about thinking positive, it's about engaging in the kind of behaviors that will make you proud of yourself. This doesn't imply that you have to climb Mt. Everest or earn six figures to be proud of yourself. It's the small behaviors that matter. Many people ignore the fact that having good self-esteem is largely about doing the right things in life; about being true to your own values, taking risks, accomplishing what you set out to accomplish, keeping promises, practicing tolerance, and thinking of and treating other people well. Live right, and then next time you tell yourself how worthless you are, you will have concrete proof that your self-perception is inaccurate. Respect yourself. You're worth it. Respecting yourself means valuing your body, thoughts, and feelings. All of these affect your self-esteem in the long term. If you're exhausted, respect your body by getting a good night's sleep. If you have an opinion on something, respect the value of your thoughts and don't be afraid to share them. If you're feeling stressed out, listen to your emotions and give yourself a break. Would you make excessive demands of a friend who was feeling tired and overloaded? Remember that you are valuable and worth taking care of - don't discount yourself and your needs. Accomplish goals; acknowledge achievements. Setting goals and achieving them is vital to improving self-esteem. It doesn't matter how small they are. Get started by doing something that you have been putting off - wash that car, call that friend, read that book, plant those flowers. Take note of all your accomplishments, no matter how small. This way, when you start tearing yourself down and saying you can't do anything, you will have proof that you are wrong! Be good to yourself. Being good to yourself means treating yourself as the valuable person you are. It means eating wisely, exercising often, spoiling yourself sometimes, relaxing when you need to, and doing things you enjoy and that are important to you. It's helpful to write down at the end of each day how you have treated yourself in terms of your health, what you have done for yourself, and how you have affirmed yourself. Accentuate the positive. Walk, talk, and dress in ways that accentuate everything that is positive about you. Avoid clothes, posture, and self-talk that emphasize your flaws. We all have flaws, but people with healthy self-esteem don't dwell on them. Recognize your talents and abilities and use them. Find the things you have a flair for, and do them for your own enjoyment and satisfaction - not to impress others. Everyone is good at something. What are your talents? Are you using them? Do you like to paint, write, garden, or play the guitar? Are you good at sports? Do you enjoy the outdoors? Are you a good listener? A devoted friend? An encourager? Remember, you don't need to be Michelangelo, Mozart or Mother Teresa to use your gifts! http://www.calorieking.com/library/article.php?page=2&art_id=641&noviews=yes#2 I got this from a website that Jessica posted. It has a lot of good articles about weight loss and nutrition. Lynette

Lynette, Thank you for posting that site and that article. It goes hand in hand with something I wrote here a few days ago. There has to be a self-acceptance of who and WHAT you are. You have to be able to embrace every single thing that made you who you are, both the good and the bad. I truly had the hardest time trying to figure out "what was eating me." In weight counseling with a psychologist all I'd do was sit there and cry, knowing the pain was there, but not knowing what to do with it. It is only through small steps, tiny revelations and then true self-acceptance that I was able to even begin to tackle my weight issues. This is HUGE for me. It changes my whole life, even the way my very own family (mother,father,sister,brother,etc) accept me. I find that the ultimate sadness because it is there that all of those issues reared their ugly heads. I am still ME, but this time I like ME. Thank you again, Lynette. Donna