Looking for others w.BMI of 40 or so

HI all, I'm not exactly new, but more a "lurker." I have been reading these message boards for about two months or so. I am serious about WLS but three GPs have suggested I try other methods first. Like, I have never tried before... duh.... One GP I just left as my primary whom I had little respect for anyway. He told me to try Optifast. My new primary suggests I have food allergies and need to stay away from dairy, chocolate and sugar. She also wants me to do affirmative thinking and meditating which I do believe can help but I'm not sure I can meditate away 100 pounds. The third doc, a gastroineriologist gave me some meds that have been shown to help with weight loss - Topomax I thnk it is called. I do believe also that I should try every avenue to do this myself before the surgery, but it leaves me conflicted in that in my heart of hearts I feel nothing else is really going to work. Then when I think of the surgery (I have attended three orientations and had one visit with a surgeon's PA) on the one hand I feel it is right for me, then I second guess myself and the 3 docs. A part of this is coming from the problem of a failed knee surgey I had three years ago which has made me doubt my decision making ability. I thought I had a great doc for that and it turned out to be a miserable life altering experience that has moved me closer to a wheel chair and caused even more weight gain. Now with that background, this leads me to two questions. 1. Do any of you feel conflicted with wanting/not sure about the WLS? How are you handling that? 2. Is anyone out there around my size of 220lbs/BMI 41 or do you know anyone who has had WLS and what amount of weight did they lose. I'm wondering if I could expect to lose all my excess weight or not. and (I lied, here is a third questio) 3. What does the research show long term about keeping the weight off like 5-7-10 years? Thanks for your responses.

I don't remember what my BMI is, but I weigh around 292 pounds. I am five foot 1/2 inch tall. I thought about WLs last April 2005, but chickened out. I'm scared of the risks, scared about what they'd do to my stomach and intestines, and scared of what I consider to be the drastic changes I'd have to go through to eat afterwards. You can't even eat and drink at the same meal! You can get sick easily, if you don't chew your food really thoroughly. That scared me too. Also, what they call the "dumping syndrome" scared me. I am trying Weigh****chers (their flex point system). I need to make some more changes, but I feel safer with that than the drastic changes I'd have to make with WLS. I've also heard that if you have issues concerning food (like molestation, rape, or in my case, just strong feelings of deprivation from childhood) that if you don't get therapy to deal with those issues, you could end up putting your lost weight right back on. This is all I know about WLS. Denise Phares

I just want to say that I tried Medifast several years ago. I think it is similar to Optifast. I didn't eat a bite of solid food for 9 months. I lost a whole bunch of weight (286 down to 117). I gained all of that back and more. I was under a lot of stress in a bad marriage. And the program really didn't have a good maintenance plan. It didn't teach me how to eat for life. I found out that I could loose weight if I destress my life and start taking care of me. A lot of my weight issues have to do with self-esteem and self-confidence. This time, I found a program that promotes healthy eating and has a great maintenance program and a lot of support (LA Weight Loss). Surgery was not a good choice for me. I didn't want to have surgery. I've read somewhere that WLS patients can expect to loose 80% of their excess weight. Just recently, one of the LA counselors told me that someone who had WLS joined LA because they had gained back all their weight. With surgery or without surgery, it is going to take effort to loose and keep the weight off. Good luck to you on whatever you choose. I know WLS is a good option for some. But it just wasn't for me. And yes, it is possible to loose the weight without it. I feel sometimes that WLS is presented as the only option to people who have to loose large amounts of weight. Lynette

Well I am new to this board. I was planing on having WLS but I ran into insurance problems. So I am now going to start again. This time I am going to go to LA weight loss, like Lynette said, I like that it has one on one counslors that work with you to get a program that YOU can loose on. But even when I was planning on WLS I was preparing for a major life style change permantly. I am going at dieting this time with that same mind set, hopefully I will be successful. Either way you go, most insurance company REQUIRE you show you are on a physicians monitored weight loss program for at least 6 months b4 they will approve you for surgery. My BMI is 58. I cant stand the emotional and physical pain anymore. I HAVE to change my life. I believe once you have come to that point, which ever diet plan, or WLS you choose to be right for you will succeed. Now I dont speak from experience so let hope I'm right, my life depends on it. Maureen

Hi Mary, I know what you are going thru. I was looking into WLS for a good year. But everytime I came close to even setting up an appointment with the surgeon I always bailed out. Then last May I was dx as Type II diabetic. This scared me so bad that I immediately took action to regain my health. So far I am down 95 pounds. Still have another 80 or so to go. I've been overweight my entire life. I got to the point where I even stop trying to lose weight. And that was a huge mistake. I see now that when I stop trying and kept gaining that I also stop living and was just existing. Sorry for the long winded response. I just wanted you to know I understand your situation. If I may, I would recommend that the diet I am on. Or should I say the eating plan as this is the way I have to eat the rest of my life. Now some people may disagree with my plan, but it is the only plan that ever worked for me. I am on a low carb diet. (not akins). I eat all the fruit, vegatables, low-fat dairy and lean meats I want. I am limited to 75 grams of carbs a day. Carbs in fruits and vegatables are free. Typically, my carbs are whole grains, which constist of oatmeal, whole wheat bread and crackers. Plus one sugar free cup of coco a day Gotta have my chocolate. I found this plan easy to follow, as I don't count calories, just have to worry about the number of carbs I am eating. The book I used to educate myself is Low Carb Dieting for Dummies. You can pick it up at any book store. Perhaps why you are still deciding which direction to pursue, you should just try, even if it is just for one day, this plan. I wish you luck, because I know our path ain't easy!! Ann

Hello Mary, Welcome to the non-op obesity board. I think that you should go back and read some of the profiles of the members of this board. The profiles will answer a lot of the questions you are having, and allow you to see what people have done instead of undergoing WLS. I see that three different GP's have told you that you should try other options. I don't know your personal health situation so I can't really speak on their decisions to tell you that. I will share, however, that my GP told me that he wished me to try it one more time before I took such a drastic step. I agreed and the rest so far is history. I began to research WLS when I felt that I had no other options to losing weight. Bad knees had me in chronic pain and walking every day was an issue. After my doctor told me that I should try it one more time again I realized that it was time that I was honest with myself. I realized that I hadn't really had success with a "diet" program and that I had never seen a program through to the end. I had started many, some of them not even lasting a day, others lasting as much as 6 months. But in the end the honest response had to be that I really hadn't given it my all. I also realized that after WLS I would be FORCED to do what I couldn't do on my own. You can outeat any diet, and you can outeat WLS. It's about what is in your head and what you are willing to risk to get there. I couldn't make the decision to risk my health by undergoing an operation that might have some very long term results. There are post-ops out there 4-5 years that are suddenly having unexplained pain and issues. I don't think I could live every day waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the end the decision has to be yours, nobody else can make it for you. I do, however, implore that you be honest with yourself about your decision and reach it fully informed and totally willing to accept all that it might bring. Again, welcome to the board and I hope you find support here in whatever you choose. Donna

Hi Mary, and welcome to the nonop board. Your questions: 1) I started this journey more than two years ago fully intending to have WLS. There are times when I wish I had undergone surgery. I've lost 155 pounds and I'm still obese. And I fume when I read about postops who have lost to goal and never exercise. They're often the same ones who get their knickers in a twist if someone remarks that WLS seems to be the easy way out. 2) My starting BMI was 55.5, so I can't help you there. 3) The long-term statistics for keeping weight off without surgery are discouraging. It is estimated that 95 percent of people who lose weight by diet and exercise alone will regain it within two years. But I figure that someone has to that one person out of 20 who keeps it off. Why not me? Best of luck. Kasey 365/210 (nonop)

I can honestly say, I wish I could have WLS. I know that some of the choices I make would simply not be options. I know that portion control is taken out of my hands, at least for a time. I'm scared to death that I will regain the weight I've lost, or even worse, I'll make my goal weight of 175 pounds--again--and then slowly but surely regain it. That's the hardest part; the fear of regaining the weight. I don't know how many longitudinal studies have been done on people who've had WLS in it's various forms. I do know, however, that the weight comes off. For some, effortlessly; for others, with lots of nausea, vomiting, dumping and post-op complications. If I could, I have to admit that I would take the risks, and have the surgery. I have lost and regained literally hundreds of pounds in my 38 years. I've been on every plan known to man--Weigh****chers, Phen-Fen, Adkins, high carb/low protien, low fat....on and on and on. Bottom line turned out to be that, until I could get my head together, I will never be able to eat like a "normal" person. I would never be able to stop when my body says "stop". I've come a long way in the past year, I have to admit. I think about what goes into my mouth. I don't always stop the food from getting there, but at least, I think about it. And more often than ever before in my life, I choose not to eat certain foods. I choose water to drink instead of my favorite lemonade or hot chocolate. I am making some very good choices with my food, and I feel like this year, I will continue to work toward wellness and good food choices. Portion control is the hardest thing for any food addict to get a hold of. I am working on that with absolutely every meal. When I have a good lunch, I know I'll eat a lesser calorie dinner to offset the damage. That's what real people do; they pay attention to how they eat throughout the day, and make accomodations throughout the day. Light breakfast, good lunch, vegetarian dinner. Whatever it takes: this year I'm doin' it!! My BMI in January of 2005 was 42%. I haven't a clue what it is now. But I know I have 75 more pounds to lose until I make my goal. I enjoy reading about what all of you are doing, and how you process this journey. Take care, Jessica

I have received many great responses and I thank each of you for your comments. I am going to take Ann's advice just now and go back to the limited carb (haven't actualy tried counting the carbs since I did Atkins many years ago). I will also look into the LA Weight Loss program that was mentioned. Everyone's comments gives me courage and motivation that I am doing the right thing to be doing exactly what I am doing just now. Like many of you expressed also, I have to get a handle on my weight as it is destroying my quality of life and effecting my relationship with my spouse and others. I have self-esteem issues not to mention mobility problems with very bad knees. I do know I am not going to go another year like this. My goal is to at least lose an average of 1 pound a week and if in three months I can see some results, I will keep on. The most weight I have lost was about 18 pounds at that was over 4 months with a program called Metobolic Weight Loss Center. I lost about 15 on Weigh****chers but could not keep it off more that a few weeks. That was last summer. Thanks for all the comments. Please know I was touched by the caring you all showed and my heart goes out to each of you who so generously gave of your time to respond. Have a great day all. Mary