My appointment...

Well I finally called and set up an appointment with my pcp. I go to see him on Monday, October 17th. I already know what hes gonna say, eat 1200 calories a day and exersice. Oh well at least I'll have documentation for my back up plan. I'm starting to really think that I can't lose the weight myself. Eating is the only thing that I really enjoy doing.

I can relate! One of my former friends once said that she had to figure what to do once she lost all her weight, and had successfully managed maintenance. I mean, what will I be thinking about and doing for enjoyment once I beat this thing? Good question! I've been so consumed with losing the weight my whole adult life that I can't even imagine what it'll be like to just maintain. Denise Phares

Melissa, Perhaps you should look for another plan, something that is going to be more to your liking. I don't believe in counting calories, it's just not something I want to spend a lot of time on. I have a simple basic belief system and it is that I really choose to eat only things that have lived. By that I mean, meats and vegetables, fruits and grains. Anything in a plastic package to me means it was made by artificial means. If I can't pronounce something on the label I am not going to eat it. The only allowances I make are for jellos and gelatins which I would be lost without. I cannot begin to remember the countless times that I ate the junk and food that is just not good for me. I am fond of saying that I have eaten enough crap to last me a lifetime and that I believe I have eaten at least one of every single food in the world. So what in the world am I missing when I chose to remove those things from my food plan? Perhaps you have a way of eating that works for you. I am not a person that can do things halfway so I choose not to do Weigh****chers because I don't WANT to have a candy bar for 7 points. I choose to do a program where my choices are limited. Look for something that might work for you. You appear resigned to the fact that he will tell you 1200 calories and exercise. Go in with a different attitude and tell him that perhaps that hasn't worked so far, which should by this point be obvious to him, and that you would appreciate him suggesting something more. Or perhaps go in with your own suggestions. One step at a time, one day at a time, Melissa. Remember, you will have to diet for the rest of your life after surgery. Why not start now? Donna

Melissa, I've been on a calorie-counting and exercise plan for two years. I know I will have to eat/live this way for the rest of my life if I want to keep healthy. It's not for everyone. As far as eating being the "only" thing you really enjoy doing, I would gently suggest that's probably not true. Surely you like laughing, or watching TV or movies or music, or reading, or spectator sports, or being with family or friends, or pets, or art, or card games, or drama, or dancing, or sewing, or writing, or sightseeing, or gardening, or being on the Internet, or something else. You might find, as I did, that as you lose weight, your desire to do things other than eating increases, especially as you become more mobile and develop more stamina. Best of luck. Kasey 365/215/195 (nonop)

I understand where you're coming from, Melissa. For a long time, I thought that my one true indulgence was food. I love it!!! Sweet stuff; salty stuff; crunchy stuff---I love me some food! But I've learned something about myself, and about my life. I have many things that are much better than food. Excess food for me meant misery, over 100 pounds of extra weight to lug around every day, and guilt and anger at myself for having "no self control." Food is not my friend. I still enjoy eating, but I'm learning to put this all into perspective. I cannot have surgery. I realize and accept that. I refuse to allow the food addict in me to rob me of any more days of happiness. I'm working my butt off, literally, to put that addict in her proper place: out of the leading role in my life. I know that for the rest of my life, my addict will be trying to move to the forefront of my life and take it over again. One day at a time, I'm keeping her from doing that. With the surgery, for the rest of my life, I knew I would have to be on a special diet. Without this surgery, I'm going to have to be on a special diet for the rest of my life. I promise you, before surgery, you're going to need to work on your own demons; you're going to have to deal with that inner food addict that has been in control of your life for so long. I went to Overeaters Anonymous while I was trying to get approved for surgery, and I learned a lot about myself, and my addict. I'd still be fighting with food --and the food would still be winning, if it weren't for my new and developing understanding of the food addict. I'm not religious, so the whole higher power taking away my longing for food, was lost on me. But I did learn a hell of a lot about myself, food, and my dependence on the feelings associated with food. I think it's a lifelong journey, quite honestly. All of us have to find a new way to relate to food. Please look into OA. It helped me understand my unhealthy relationship with food; and I think it can help you, too. Best of luck to you with the PCP. If you can get your mind healthy, your body has no choice but to follow. Jessica