Shopping
Hello folks 
I went shopping today for a dress for a wedding next week. After losing about 45 pounds and nowhere near the end of my journey I had nothing to wear. The only two dresses I had were hanging off of me. While I was happy about this it also meant to go and get a dress that I would wear maybe once. Visions of lots of pastel material flashed in front of my eyes, the fat lady layered look ~shudders~
So to the store I go. The first store I went to had EXACTLY the clothing I feared. My other half said they were about the ugliest clothes he had ever seen. So onto the next store, Dress Barn Woman. I had never shopped in there before because even if they say "Woman" it is merely a replica of the smaller clothes, and usually not a womans size. So I checked the racks, the other half glaring at me checking the clearance racks. Finally I find three black dresses. It was odd because I hadn't gone for black, didn't want to hide myself, but these were pretty. One was a 24, one a 22 and one a 20. I have been wearing 26/28 now, just growing out of my pants, and some of my skirts have had to be given away.
So into the dressing room I go, the dresses on the hangers, a skeptical look on my face. I try the first one on. There was so much material and so many layers I was tangled up. I finally sorted it out and went to my other half who kinda liked it. There were too many scarf life hanging material pieces down touching my leg, I couldn't bear it. That was the 22. I go back in, pull the next dress and try it on. I go out and my other half says that it doesn't settle well on my hips. This one is a 24. I have a long torso that gets lost in the fat, which is just coming out now. I kinda liked the neckline which was a V neck, but I trusted his opinion so I went back in to try on the last one. Finally to the last dress, taking a deep breath I pull the size 20 off of the hanger and slip it over my head. Once again I get stuck a bit in the two layers, but it then settles down beautifully. I look at it, shocked to have been able to get into a size 20!!! I went out and he said "I love it". It is a little shorter than I am used to, around the knees. I usually like things longer because I hate my tree trunk legs. But he loved it and I bought some nice silver jewelry to go with it, as well as a pair of black stockings. I even came home and tried on the stockings. I haven't worn a pair in YEARS, I couldnt' find any that really fit. These were amazing.
So I just wanted to share, for those that are still struggling, it's worth every second when you have an experience like I had today.
I do have to say that I now understand the body image issues. Even though I have a ways to go, I know that I have "shrunk". Yet I still see the same big legs, the same floppy belly and the same body that I have hated all along. Even though it shrinks it pretty much stays the same. I hope to one day be able to look past that.
I hope everyone had a wonderful day.
Donna
I went shopping today for a dress for a wedding next week. After losing about 45 pounds and nowhere near the end of my journey I had nothing to wear. The only two dresses I had were hanging off of me. While I was happy about this it also meant to go and get a dress that I would wear maybe once. Visions of lots of pastel material flashed in front of my eyes, the fat lady layered look ~shudders~
So to the store I go. The first store I went to had EXACTLY the clothing I feared. My other half said they were about the ugliest clothes he had ever seen. So onto the next store, Dress Barn Woman. I had never shopped in there before because even if they say "Woman" it is merely a replica of the smaller clothes, and usually not a womans size. So I checked the racks, the other half glaring at me checking the clearance racks. Finally I find three black dresses. It was odd because I hadn't gone for black, didn't want to hide myself, but these were pretty. One was a 24, one a 22 and one a 20. I have been wearing 26/28 now, just growing out of my pants, and some of my skirts have had to be given away.
So into the dressing room I go, the dresses on the hangers, a skeptical look on my face. I try the first one on. There was so much material and so many layers I was tangled up. I finally sorted it out and went to my other half who kinda liked it. There were too many scarf life hanging material pieces down touching my leg, I couldn't bear it. That was the 22. I go back in, pull the next dress and try it on. I go out and my other half says that it doesn't settle well on my hips. This one is a 24. I have a long torso that gets lost in the fat, which is just coming out now. I kinda liked the neckline which was a V neck, but I trusted his opinion so I went back in to try on the last one. Finally to the last dress, taking a deep breath I pull the size 20 off of the hanger and slip it over my head. Once again I get stuck a bit in the two layers, but it then settles down beautifully. I look at it, shocked to have been able to get into a size 20!!! I went out and he said "I love it". It is a little shorter than I am used to, around the knees. I usually like things longer because I hate my tree trunk legs. But he loved it and I bought some nice silver jewelry to go with it, as well as a pair of black stockings. I even came home and tried on the stockings. I haven't worn a pair in YEARS, I couldnt' find any that really fit. These were amazing.
So I just wanted to share, for those that are still struggling, it's worth every second when you have an experience like I had today.
I do have to say that I now understand the body image issues. Even though I have a ways to go, I know that I have "shrunk". Yet I still see the same big legs, the same floppy belly and the same body that I have hated all along. Even though it shrinks it pretty much stays the same. I hope to one day be able to look past that.
I hope everyone had a wonderful day.
Donna 
EXCELLENT!!! This is what it's all about! All the work you've invested; all the times you said, "no, I'm not going to eat that" and all the times you thought, "I can't do this.."---Now you're getting the payoff!!!! 
A size 20 dress!!! Did you ever think that you'd be here? From a 26/28 to a 20 is one hell of a leap backward--or foreward, whichever feels right to you!! I for one, am tremendously proud of you!!!! Wear that dress with pride: you earned it! 
Yesterday, I threw on a pair of my size 24 jeans...as the day progressed, I found myself getting grumpier, and more tired of constantly pulling them up!!! I have to go on a jean run....let's see what size I am now!!!! I am down just under 40 pounds, and have been exercising 5 days a week, along with my weight lifting, which I do also 5 days a week. No, I'm not nuts: what I do is 45 minutes of cardio, then do my arms and upper body. Then the next day, I do 45 minutes of cardio, then my lower body; and alternate that way. I'm losing inches....And I LOVE IT!!! 
I was 302# when I began this journey. Last I weighed in, and it was a week ago, I was 266# and my exercise pants are sliding down with each step I take on the elliptical trainer!! I'll weigh in at the end of the month. I've got a hate/hate relationship with the scale 
, so I need to stay away from it except for my monthly weigh in...
Bottom line is, Donna, we're working our asses off--literally--and it feels good to be rewarded with a new, smaller outfit that shows off our hard work. We don't always see it with our "funhouse mirror eyes" but the reality is, when we can fit into those smaller clothes, and the scale is showing smaller numbers: we are losing weight. It'll take a while for our eyes and realities to catch up with our new bodies we're creating.
Be patient with yourself. 
I say that as much to you, as I do to myself.
Thilled with your progress and success,
Jessica 
Thank you Maren and Jessica,
I think that regardless of how we end up here, the weight loss journey is the same for everyone. The struggles, the ups and downs and the absolute fear that it is all going to end weighs heavily on our minds.
All we can do is step up to the plate and swing away, praying that we connect (I've been watching far too many Mets games. LOL)
Thank you both again.
Donna
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