Hello and starting to actually think about my future and losing weight...with no surgery

Hi everybody, my name is Amber. I'm 24 years old and close to 400 pounds! I'm going to be doing an "update" to my story since i joined this site about 4-5 years ago and abandoned it (along with my weight loss efforts). 

I have been overweight for most of my life and obese for all of my adult life and recently I have taken very small steps to correcting the problem. I know myself well enough to know that this isn't something I can correct or do quickly or overnight but maybe i'm just babying myself into staying in the same rut I've always been in. I bought a scale and a measurer that can measure around my body, two tools which I haven't had access to in years. I'm on the hunt for the best way to track my food and/or calories. I know that I can't live my life like this forever...i'm in two weddings next year and I want to look at least a little better standing up there next to my best friends and loved ones. 

The decision that this has to change happened when I got a shock at the doctor's office. I stopped allowing them to weigh me a few years ago because I wasn't comfortable with it, but decided to go ahead and do so, and was shocked to see 389 pounds. 

I don't want to have WLS now or ever; it's just not something I'm interested in. Maybe down the line I'll feel differently but I can't much see my views on that changing. Not judging those who have, it's just not for me :) 

I've got big things coming up for me...in a month I'm starting grad school while working full time 50 hours a week and I know that'll only make things more difficult..but maybe that'll be the push I need?

Anyways, any tips, tricks, hugs and comments from people are welcome and appreciated!

Good luck, Amber!  Long term weightloss can be accomplished without surgery. First, I'll say-losing weight is pretty easy. All of here are expers having lost and regained hundreds of pounds. The real challenge, surgery or not, is long term maintenance. 

To lose, I used a bodybugg and carefully tracked every calorie to cross my lips. I also run or bike almost everyday. I continue to eat an extremely healthy diet. I don't get a day off or a cheat day. If there is something I want I might have it in moderation....once. I've remained strict with myself and I believe that is what my success has hinged on. I have many "drug" foods that I don't consume at all....

When people say it is a lifestyle change they aren't kidding. My habits are completely different at 140 than they were at 300....and if I return to my 300 lb habits I am certain the weight will creep back on. 

I am here to cheer you on!  :)

I've felt the same way.  I've been adamantly against WLS as I felt I got myself this way (overweight) and therefore I should lose it the same way I put it on.  I, however, got to the point that I could no longer do it. I finally gave in and had WLS in 2012.  I've not regretted it.  A year before deciding on surgery I tried to lose the weight and was unable to lose more than 30 lbs in a year.  Since I lost 30 lbs in the year prior to seeing the surgeon, he did not require me to lose any additional weight.  You may want to try Overeaters Anonymous.  When I was your age I went to OA and lost 100 lbs in the first six months and kept it off for seven years.  I only regained the weight because I had a health problem that required me to take medication that had a lot of sugar added to it and therefore gave me cravings for sweets again. Just today, I saw a television commercial advertising a medication, Belviq which has been approved by the FDA for weight loss.  I can't speak to the effectiveness of this medication nor its side effects but this may be something that you may want to discuss with your PCP (primary care physician).  If you can afford it, you may want to look into Taekwondo (a form of martial arts).  I did Taekwondo and was losing 20 lbs a month.  I only stopped it because I could no longer afford the cost due to my income having been considerably reduced.  The great thing I liked about Taekwondo is it has an incentive unlike the gym.  As you progress in Taekwondo, you test out of each color belt.  The other things I liked about it was the weight loss and self-defense skills attained.

I never thought I'd be one of "those people" who got the surgery. But now I did and I am one year out. I am happy I did it now, but totally understand not being able to put your head around it. Some things I've learned on this journey that I think could help you even without surgery-

1-My surgeons mantra is "Protein first, then veggies and then if you have enough room fruit and starchy Carbs" So he never says No carbs, they just are at the end of the list.

2- Not drinking while eating and for 1/2 hour after - Food is supposed to stay in your stomach for 30 minutes to digest before it moves on to the intestine. Not that you can't have a sip here or there but if you are drinking fluids with your meals it is going to push the food out of the stomach too soon making it easier to eat more. Food being in the stomach is what is going to make you feel full.

3- Drinking a Protein Drink/shake everyday helps keep your protein numbers up and your cravings down. There are many powders out there, you just have to try them. the Ready-t0-drink Premier Proteins are great because you can throw them in your bag and take them with you. They have great stats too 160 calories and 30g protein. I know you can buy them at Walgreens and Walmart but if you decide you like them they have cases at Costco, BJs and Sam's.

Many people use My fitness Pal app to track everything. Getting a fitbit might be helpful too... since it sounds like you are busy and may not always have time for traditional exercise this way you can track your steps and set goals.

Good Luck!

There are a lot of things that you can try before doing a weight loss surgery. Most of all, I don't think surgeries are the best way to lose your weight. It can be opted if all other things got failed and only when you are left with no other options. I've faced similar thing in my life and I didn't opt for a surgery. The first thing I did was- tried many diet plans and exercises. But it doesn't really helped me. Then I joined a men's weight loss program in Toronto, at Harvey Brooker. It was a 12 months weight loss program and I'm really glad to say that I reduced my weight from 310 lbs to 220 lbs. The weight loss programs are not just about following a strict diet, the program will make us to leave unhealthy eating habits and gradually reduce our weight.  

Hi Amber:I just started an Optifast program with my local hospital, as a way to kickstart my weight loss efforts.I have struggled with my weight since having my children, and have lost weight on various popular diets only to regain it again.I believe that the support system was never really there in each of my attempts which may have been part of why I failed each time.Now there is a medical team helping me to lose the weight, aided by the fact that my bloodwork was flagged for a couple of potential health issues.The motivation to to this for myself this time I think is making a difference.I prefer not to have the surgery even though I was told I was a good candidate.I am terrible at taking medications and  in researching, discovered that you have to take vitamin and mineral supplements for the rest of your life after surgery because your absorption levels in the digestive tract change after surgery.One of the best comments I have heard, is to treat food as you would any medicine you might take.Learn to make the best food choices based on the nutrition that food provides, and search out recipes online that will help you to make those foods taste good.Also with working 50 hrs. a week, having a meal plan is essential.It will help you when you are grocery shopping to stay on track, and taking part of a day each week to prep your foods and meals in advance will make it easier to stay on track as your choices will have already been prepared or partly prepared for those busy work days.I just finished my first day on Optifast, and I am reminding myself that I am on the start of a journey to better health.I did not get this way overnight, and it will not be easy, but I am trying to find inspiration in the activities that I will be able to do and finally try, and a new wardrobe never hurt either.All the best in your weight loss journey Amber, I know you can do this!

Hope this guide helps: http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/brochures -and-guides/understanding-your-weight-loss-options-brochure

You have to eat less. Period. Many of us could not do that without surgery. I understand not wanting surgery. It can be scary to think about. I was not ready until my 40's. I spent my whole life beating myself up about my weight. When I finally believed I deserved to be healthy and happy, I was ready for surgery. I am thankful I made the necessary steps to get my life back. Weight loss does not solve all of our problems but it makes it so much easier to get through life and deal with our daily struggles when weight does not get in our way.

Good luck. I hope you figure out what works for you.

Hi Amber, you are not on this journey alone. I was just like you. So I know your fight. I'm from Ontario Canada and at age 58 am starting again. Everyone here is right. It's not a diet but a new way of eating it is forever not just for a short time and a constant battle. Remember they say it takes three weeks for anything to become a habit. So hang in there. I can't tell you how many times I have started a diet in my lifetime. Too many to count. So baby steps. First you need to remember it takes time and lots of effort. Don't try to set goals that you can't make. I started this journey years ago at 380lb. Went down to 237 then slowly over the last few years put back on some weighing in at 308lb three weeks ago when I started to look at how to start again. First I decided what helped me before. Protein, veggies, and limit bread any thing white. I work out of my truck as a travelling nurse, so I had to have something I could travel with and would be right there when I needed it. I decided to try Pure Protein Bars from Walmart. They taste good and with a coffee or tea they fill me up. The first week is the worst when your getting off the carbs. I can throw them in my purse and I have one for breakfast and one for lunch. Then for supper I have a salad or veggies and some kind of protein, fish, chicken hamburger patty ect. I cut out the bread but if we go out or  I get take out I usually get a chicken wrap, I am taking it one week at a time. 10 lbs at a time. I only get weighed once a week as daily it can fluctuate and then I get discouraged. When I got weighed last Tues I was down to 293.4lbs. Also drink as many fluids sugar free a day as you can. If you eat lots of protein make sure you don't get constipated. I take Senokot every night to ensure this doesn't happen. Remember you are not alone. There are lots of us in the same boat. It is going to take time but it's important not to look at a goal way down the road that you feel you are never going to make. I really find that getting excited about going from the 300's to 290's and now working towards the 280's works for me. Please let me know if there is anything I can help you with. Also another tip is if you are an evening eater have a hot drink in the evening. I have a decaf coffee. It fills you up and stay away from bread and potatoes. That's exactly why they call a fat tummy the bread basket.. Good Luck Hun. Keep me posted. We can do it..... I'm right there beside you walking the walk

Hi Amber,

Your weight loss journey will not be easy and will require hard work. As it was already mentioned, eating less and be physical active are the main keys. You can also help yourself by taking weight loss pills, however these also need to be taken in a combination with a strict diet and physical activity.