My stQ
Hello my friends. It has been an emotional couple of days here. Thankfully I have read a ton and know that buyers remorse is part of healing. I miss my kids, my 4 year old son has been in the house with me 30 minutes tops since I have been home. My dad has kept him which has been a huge blessing but I miss him! My 7 year old daughter has been around a little more....but she sits and mopes missing her brother.. They are both gone right now. I digress...
I come from a fat family. My mom had gastric bypass when I was under 10. I don't remember much about it but I can remember she would crave this or that. I can also remember her measuring desert into her little cup. She too lost a lot of weight and had a tummy tuck. She claims that she went wrong when she started drinking diet pop, again. I can remember her shaking it up to get the fizz down. Please know that I adore my momma....but I learned young that there were "skinny *****es' in the world and us....it always seemed that 'they' never had to work for it.
The old man was always a big guy. He loved sweets and big portions. He used to say the meanest things to us. He would tell us we would be having gastric by the time we were 15 just to fit in the door. As kids he would comment that we were little hams and should be rolled in sugar. I realize some of what he said was in an attempt to change our eating but it was mean. He *constantly* would say things like "I couldn't believe it, I saw a big ol gall, about your size walking in six inch heels. Whatever. My mean voice still refers to me as big ol gal. My dad had gastric when I was 17.
My mother was notorious for putting us on crazy diets. We would go like crazy from January until. Easter.....but when that candy came home it was over, all was regained and we started again later. My sister remains obese. My brother had gastric 9 years ago and continues to struggle.
So to me. I found a journal where my marked weight was 196, my goal size was a 12 and I listed my age at 14. I know I was over 215 upon graduation. I met my husband in 2001. With him I decided to quit chewing (I am so disgusted I did that for so long). My weight rocketed to 287. I started again and lost back to the 220s. A combination of bulimia and severe restriction diets got me to almost 200 on my wedding day in 2003. I gained 20 lbs on our week cruise!! The first time I weighed in2005, when pregnant with my daughter I was 286....at her birth I know I was 300. I only ever saw 296 on the scale but I know.
Every successful weightloss I ever had was the result of diet and movement. After my daughter was born I lost into the 220s by using six week body makeover and my treadmill. When I became pregnant with my son my husband had been hurt at work so he and my daughter baked everyday. I gained 60lbs! That was April 2008. I went back to moving and eating better and found myself back in the 220s. I spent a lot of life there.
For. Christmas 2009 I asked for a bodybugg.....best gift ever. I was obsessed. I logged every food and found myself cleaning just to burn more calories. I learned how my bite of this and little of that had a huge impact on my weigh in! I could eat anything g so long as I logged it. At the end of a bad week I had it right there as to why my weight didn't budge....it was the best too ever but I had to be honest about everything. I lost 70 lbs in 2011 (sorry chisstmas 2010 not 09). I kept moving and getting faster and faster. I was totally consistent. I had an occasional treat * occasional*
i have to get up...that is a long ordeal so I will post this and be back.
And I am back. I have to wake my husband soon so I can shower before he leaves for work. But I will try to finish.
i learned so much with my bodybugg. I actually eat about the same thing everyday and that works for me. I know the calories of anything I stick in my mouth. I make no excuses. I am asked, often, what I eat:
2 egg whites on my way out the door to work, about 1/4 cup oatmeal around1030 (see hungry girl.com for fab ideas), a cucumber and 3 more egg whites, lunch is steamed veggies and catchup, a yogurt (that I leave in the fridge and eat a bite or two at a time), figs, a reasonable dinner, and popcorn. Weekends I have an egg sandwich instead of so many eggs and I eat a southwest salad atmcdonalds every Sunday after church.
Pi don't get off track very often. I mentioned somewhere that I pray often and that helps. I lead a study on "made to crave" and that has kept eon track.
folks tell me I look great. I am asked all the time what I do. People are disappointed it involves diet and exercise. I eat this way because I like it. Catchup makes everything good. Also, I have foods that I treat like drugs. If there is a food I can't stop eating once I start I do not eat that food. It is the same as the alcoholic with booze...he is not told to takeaway drink and walk away...andhe craves the same as I do. There are plenty of foods on my drug list....
hum. I can't think of anything else. Oh. I went from a 2.5 mile per hour pace killing meta easy mile being 6.5 mph. I just played. I can't teach my children to be obese. So much of my inspiration comes from thinking of their futures. Sorry for the typos. iPads don't like this site!
Today I really am starting to understand the energy in energery out science. It really is simple mathematics. It is the discipline that gets me everytime. I too have started praying about my food addictions. I rely on prayer for other life situations so been just starting to apply it to my food troubles too. Read a book called Women Food and God that I found helpful. I know today that there is no magic for weightloss it is work! I am just going to continue sticking with low cal/carb food plans and exercise. Thanks again for sharing your journey with us. Deb
I know it can be done and I hope more than anything that it can be maintained. I am terrified at gaining it back. I read the other boards and cringe. I am trying, very hard, to work though the underlying causes of my overeating. My belief is that if I don't work this addiction as an addiction it will consume me again. Some mentioned to me the other day that I needed to start a "maitainance" diet and add many of the drug foods back in....I could only think that is why so many fail....we return to our bottle or needle over and over again.
