Help/Advice Please!

Hello all.  I am weeks away from RNY but am having major doubts.  I change my mind several times a day and would really like to consider the "natural" route, but years of failure at that and the promise of RNY success are almost too much too overcome.  Is there any advice out there?  Any actual success stories that can be an inspiration? 

I am over 400lbs so I have a loooong way to go and just don't know if it is smart to pass up RNY and a nearly guaranteed 200lb weight loss in one year for a 3 to 5 year struggle to do the same on my own -- IF I can mange the sustained effort to do so given that I never have in the past 20 years.  Is there anyone out there on this forum that has any insight?  Anyone who has passed on WLS and won the battle?

Please help!  Thanks.

Hi - well I haven't "won" the battle - yet, but am fighting the battle.  I also investigated WLS and went for a surgery consult, but just wasn't ready to do it.  Am losing it on my own, albeit slowly.  I can only speak for myself - but know I don't want the surgery.  Will I succeed in the long run?  I don't know, I have failed before.  I am happy for all those who have had surgery and are living their new lives.  I have been overweight my entire life and perhaps haven't hit rock bottom?  I wish I could be of more help to you but whatever you decide I hope it works and makes you happy!

Hi. I'm new to this board, but I wanted to post anyway. I've spent years thinking, researching, and even planning to have the Duodenal Switch, which was my surgery of choice. However, I every time I'd shy away thinking "I wish I could do it on my own."

I was also over 400lbs and felt like it was too much to do. At the end of last year though, I started doing some internal work. I just tried to get intouch with me, figured out how exactly I was feeling at every time of the day, and began working on my self - esteem (which was a big part of my problem). I lost a little during that time (probably about 15lbs from Nov. 09 - Dec 09). Then in December I had a long talk with myself and basically told myself, and the fat, that the fat was free to go. That I no longer needed to use it as a sheild, a cover-up, a protector, or anything else I'd been using it as. Ok, it wasn't as simple as that, but that was the beginning..lol.

From that moment to this I've lost 93lbs. Now I have much more weight to lose (I'm currently at 320lbs), but I know I'll be successful. I do it by focusing on the goal of 10lbs per month. It's small and do-able. At the end of the month, I celebrate that 10lbs and move on to the next 10lbs. The only changes I've made are making better food choices, watching my portions, and making an effort to be more active (I'm not as active as I probably should be, but I'm more than I was).

Internally, I pay attention to what it feels like to be satisfied. I'm aware when I'm in an emotional state that used to make me eat that comfort food. I acknowledge, feel the feelings, and let it go. I pay attention to calories but I don't write everything down because I'm not good at it. However, there aren't very many things I'll eat that I don't know the calorie count of.

I have to say it was hard in the beginning. I wrote letters to whatever food was calling my name telling it to leave me alone! LOL.

Example: Dear Cinamon Roll, I hear you over there in the snack bin calling my name. But I'm not answering you today. I love myself too much for that. Call someone else. Love, me.

It's silly, but it helped. There were many other tricks I used. If you would like to talk further, don't hesitate to email me or respond or whatever folks do to contact each other on here...lol.  I'd be more than happy to help.

Melodie

   I love this tip!  I need to stock up on some notecards!  Thanks for sharing.

Hi! I just wanted to put in my two cents... and give you some encouragement... I was really close to having the surgery too! I was researching the RNY and the D-Switch. I was 451 pounds at my heaviest and could hardly walk. I really felt awful most of the time, because of the weight.. I couldn't fit in places... but anyway to make the long story short I felt like if I was going to have to change my life because of the surgery... I could change it before having the surgery... So I refuse to say that I am on a diet... I really changed my lifestyle.. I eat healthier. I started walking 1/4 a mile- one day. I didn't think I was going to make it ... but I did!! and I got up the next day and kept doing that .. I now walk 5 miles a day .. every other day .. and can move way better.. last I weighed in ... I had lost 80 pounds.. I don't drink sodas.. I drink water.. I eat whole grain carbs if I eat them.. and basically .. I changed the way I live... after you change what you eat and how much and make a conscious decision about it everytime ... it will become second nature... I am still losing ... and I am doing something I can stick to for the rest of my life.. Last I weighed I jumped for joy at being under 400 pounds.. I really feel like if I can do this thing... I know you can!!

I was unable to loss the weight and keep it off until I allowed God to fix the brokenness inside. If you don't really search yourself and get healing for the pain that caused you to get obese in the first place. Even getting the surgery and losing the weight won't make you happy. I'm sure you have heard of post weight-loss surgery patients talk about transfer addictions. They trade out their food addiction for another like alcohol. This is because most of us are obese due to emotional pain. We use our fat as a sheild to hide behind and/or food as comfort. You can be different. I know, I am. Heal what inside you hurts, and the weight loss will come. You have to know that you are worthy of a different life. You are worth it and it is possible. You need to get to a place where you mean enough to you to change. I will be praying for you. God bless.

Just to add my .02.  I looked at my calendar, saw that July was relatively "light" in terms of extra stuff, and decided July 2nd was my "start my new life day".  I'd read it takes 30 days to establish new habits.  My husband likes to eat out and loves his junk food, so I asked him to leave for a month!  I realize most people can't banish their spouses for a month, (and I relented and let him come home on weekends - which, btw, made it harder to establish new habits, but sometimes we have to compromise).  I eat 200 calories every 2 hours from 8 a.m. until 8 p.m.  Easy peasy.  That's it.  And I aim for 7000 steps a day, with the idea I'd increase as time went on.  Sadly, I have not done that, and still don't hit 7000 each day. 

The results?  So far, I've lost 25 pounds in the three months.  Nothing fancy, just sticking to healthy foods.  If you can only have 200 calories, you don't want to waste it on junk!  I am never hungry, and have only binged 2 times since I started.  Once I was going to have 2 tbls of peanut butter for my 8 p.m. meal, and soon I was digging in the jar!!!  I got the worst acid reflux that night, and haven't wanted peanut butter since!  The other involved pie, but we won't get into that! 

For the record, my husband still gets to eat out.  I've learned to just order a side of veggies (or two) and maybe have a bite or two of his entree.

I have come to be convinced that everyone has something that will work for them.  My plan might not work for anyone else, but it has changed my life.  If eating every two hours is not for you, something else will work.  Just explore your lifestyle, likes and dislikes, and you can figure out what will work for YOU. 

Not sure if my story can be considered a success yet or not, but I'm happy to be 1/4 way to goal at 3 months! 

Wishing you success!