Weigh****cher's Question

Hi Non-Surgical Wt. Loss friends,

I've never posted here before but I have a question for you that has me a bit heated.

A friend of mine has been 300+ lbs for some time.  She goes up and down.  (Oh how well we know that story).  Her Dr. gave her a goal of 250 lbs.  She submitted the Dr. note to Weigh****chers and they wouldn't accept it because it is too far from their weight chart and they said there's no way any Dr. would think this was a healthy goal.

I feel for her.  She comes to the same WW meeting as me.  (She doesn't know I had WLS) she saw me struggle to get it off and thinks she can too with the right support.  I tried for 30 years to do it and I couldn't maintain it.  I really feel for her and I'm a bit heated with WW.

Is this fair?  What do you think?

Hi Lisa, My answer may not make you happy because I don't think 250 pounds is a healthy final weight goal. I do think that it's important to have lots of tiny goals along the way, both scale and non-scale. To me this would be one of those midway goals.

I was in the 300+ lbs when I started and it was overwhelming to look at all the weight I had to shed. It was just too painful to think that I needed to shed close to 200 pounds so my first goal was to shed 10 pounds. I kept moving my goal along. Maybe she can do the same?

WW is a business and I believe that reaching goal means you can attend sessions for free - but I could be wrong. If this is the case then they will retain control on setting that goal and I do think it's fair.

I feel sorry for your friend, it is a struggle even with the band. What does she gain AND lose by setting a goal that's not even close to a normal weight? Maybe she can join here for extra support?

Thanks for the reply.  I posted because I needed to hear an unbiased opinion.  I know I was sympathising and empathising for my friend.  Like I said, I've been trying for over 30 years and I felt I had to rely on WLS for some help.

Thank you for your feedback and congratulations on your success!!

I had WLS in 2004 but I have to add my 2 cents to your question.  If you had said your friend weighed over 500 pounds then I would agree with 250 as a goal weight for sure.  My doctors feel 220 is a good goal weight for me because all of them knew I weighed over 600 pounds at one time for many years.  My primary phyican even told me she would be satisfied with with me getting down to 240 to 250.  and for me this would be wonderful.  I could fight it with WW because I have at least 20 pounds or so of excess skin weight to contend with. 

Weigh****chers would have approved the 250 if your friend had weighed over 400 pounds or more.  I know this because they did it for a friend of mines who weighed 460 prior to weigh****chers.  They go by some type of percentage weight.  If they did not do this they would have too many people and doctors setting too many goals and they would lose too much money.  Just as already stated it is a business and they can't have everyone setting goals without them making enough money on you.  It is what it is.  If your friend is comfortable at 250, she could join TOPS when she gets to 250 and they will help her maintain 250 weight.  250 is still a healthier weight than 300 plus no matter who you slice it.  Hopes this helps give you and your friend a different perspective. 

Hi Mollie,  Thanks for the 2 cents .

I didn't realize it made a difference.  Her starting weight was about 385 but she lost alot before coming to ww.

Congratulations on your success.  I wonder how successful I'll be 6 years out.  I'm envisioning great things and trying hard to develop and hold onto good habits to make it happen.  Stay encouraged and see you around my wls friend.

Thanks Lisa!  I spoke with my friend tonight and she had to fight it with WW.  So tell her to escalate it to management for a final accessment.  Because their rules do not state it has to be close to their charts are BMI charts.  It specifically states that IF you have a Dr's letter stating what they feel is a healthly weight for you that you can become life time. 

They will not approve it unless you fight it and point out what their rules specifically state.  My friend feels they do this in the hopes that people will not push the issue.  If you pu**** they will comply with your doctors letter.  I hope it works out for her and keep me posted. 

Wow! Thanks Mollie.  If she continues to come to meetings I will tell her.  Who knew you could get so much information from posting a question?!

50 pounds is a significant weight loss goal, and will improve your friend's health tremendously. Setting smaller goals is far less taxing emotionally, and I imagine that's what her doctor is aiming for - a major goal to reach sooner rather than later, so it's not a daunting task to reach a goal.

WW, however, will use the "goal weight" to determine when your friend starts getting FREE services. WW will be free for life if your friend hits her goal and stays there over a certain period of time (6 weeks, maybe?). Therefore, WW will not accept a goal that's that high because they will lose money. They'd prefer that she keep paying membership dues for a year or two instead of however long it takes for your friend to lose 50 pounds.

I would counsel your friend to make 250 her private goal, and let WW do what WW will do. When she hits 250 she may want to stop and celebrate and maintain, or to continue on down.

Thanks for that Leather. 

I give her props for losing 100 plus lbs.  She's more woman than I am.  I needed WLS and we're about the same weight now and I wasn't 385 to start with.  I still think WW should leave her alone.  She's done better than many of them, at my meeting anyway.  There's one lady there who is a customer service person (what ever you call the people who weigh you and take your money) who boasts about the 26 lbs she lost 5 years ago.  She wears a size 6 now.  She's also one of the people who tried to counsel her on why she needs to make it to 125.  Come on now, let's be realistic here.  How is someone who's top weight was 25 lbs over goal going to counsel someone who was almost 400?  Maybe I'm too passive or too much of a softie or an enabler in this area.  That's why I posted the question.  I needed another opinion.  Thanks for your input.

Well it's clear to me that you are a good friend and care for your friend deeply.

I'm going to have to say that I think 250 is probably too high of a goal weight. It's absolutely healthier than her highest of 385 and she'll definitely feel better at that weight. But there are still health concerns being over 100 lbs. from a goal weight of 125. (I know WW uses BMI charts for their goal weights. Is 125 the TOP of the goal weight range for your friend?)

I've been where your friend has been. I started WW at nearly 450 lbs. It was really scary to see that I needed to lose 300 lbs. to get to the top weight of my weight range. (120-150)

It's not always been easy, but as I get closer to my goal, I'm so thankful for the journey I've had. I've learned so much about myself, and all the things I'm capable of.

It is possible for her to get to a healthier weight. Hopefully as she gets closer to 250 she'll see how much SHE is capable of and will want to keep going. It's a fantastic feeling.

I wish you and your friend lots of luck and sending you both lots of loser vibes!!