It's a bumpy ride, hang on tight.

I've hit a bumpy road - and actually it's not a bump that I expected. After shedding so much weight, I have a lot of hanging skin that is really depressing. I just want to have plastic surgery to lop it off so I will feel better in my clothes and look more normal. I've been hanging out in the plastic surgery board and PMing with Ruth and I've had the reality check from Ruth that you need to shed all the excess weight before having plastics for the best results. My goal is to have a normal BMI - and if I have plastics now and then continue to shed more weight, I'll end up with loose, unattractive skin again. And Ruth had her breast lift done too early and had to have it redone later - I only want to fix this excess skin once - I can't afford to keep going back for more surgery, and I only want to have the pain and recovery once.

Last weekend I visited my kids and DD#1 had been overweight and shed down to normal and she saved her old clothes for me - and I was shocked that I fit into some of it. When I got home I tried on this wonderful Ann Taylor dress and jacket that she gave me - a suit I adored when she bought it never realizing that I could fit into it two years later. But I'm glad she didn't see me try it on - it's sleeveless and my arms are just horrendous. I can' only wear 3/4 or full length sleeves. And then my stomach is so bizarre looking as I squi**** into clothes - and I can't stop having a muffin top no matter what I do. I knew I would have hanging skin, that's not a surprise, but what I didn't expect is how bad I feel about it. It really affects how my clothes look.

And to top it off, my weight shedding has slowed down to a real snail pace - of course it's logical because I'm not lugging around all this fat all day long. I just can't starve myself to shed the weight more quickly. My diet is very clear that I'm to eat until I'm satisfied, I'm not to go around hungry. And I don't want to punish myself by withholding food - I enjoy my food.

So I have to just be patient and allow my weight to shed slowly at it's own rate and to learn to just accept this hanging skin until it's the right time to visit the plastic surgeon. I've just got to come to terms with how my body is shaped now. I am happy that the fat is gone, I see some people say they would rather be fat that have this ugly skin, but not me, I'd rather have hanging skin than fat. I am also happy about a lot of the changes in my body - if you don't look at the stomach or upper arms, I'm happy with the way I look in clothes. I just have to learn to love the lumpy stomach and airplane wings.

Well I'm sorry this is long, I just had to vent and maybe you have some wisdom to share with me.

 Skylar~
I think you are doing beautifully and are at a very normal stage of your journey, it is very easy to get discouraged when things are going slow, and that discouragement makes all other things distorted and out of proportion. Im sure that your hanging skin is less than desirable, I know, I feel the same about mine, But it probably seems way worse to you right now because you are focusing on it.   We have a tenancy to laser focus in on the things that are upsetting when they are not changing fast enough. At least I do. Be thankful that you WILL be able to afford reconstructive surgery and you WILL have it done eventually! I still have no idea how mine will be paid for or when and how I will get it done.   Try this, when you look in the mirror, and see all that hanging skin, imagine it as you want it to be, how you want to look, and then pick your head up because you already look like that under all that skin! and one day soon, you will look in the mirror and see the "real you"  without the "old you" hanging all over it! start living in the freedom that you know it will bring now! I know it's tough, but you have done great and you are getting closer and closer to that great milestone of skin removal! hang in there girl!  

Hi Michelle, thanks for your response. Yes, I am discouraged now that things are slow going and you're right, it's making me be more negative about this hanging skin and distorted body.  I have to remember that I'm the only one who is looking at this hanging skin and most of it is hidden in clothes. DH is very happy with how I look. I will have to remember what you said, that under that hanging skin is the body I want - and it will be revealed after plastic surgery. I will hang in and it will not defeat me. I am starting to feel better. And I am thankful I can afford to fix it because I know many can't. I appreciate you help.

Skylar,
Hello again my friend.
You know I feel for you and fully understand.  
Hold your head high.....feel good about that wrinkled belly knowing it symbolizes all you've achieved.  Know that one day in the not to far off future you will have the skin removed and you will be in the best possible health an condition so your recovery goes nice and easy.  Before you know it you'll be on the other side of all this.

Another thing I may not have mentioned in my PM's to you.....when you do have you arms done you cannot go outside in sleeveless tops for at least 6 months(or longer).  You have to be so careful that your scar does not get exposed to the sunlight or it will permanently damage/discolor it and you do not want that!.  So when you are planning your surgery try to have your arms done around mid Sept so you can show them off the following summer.  I made the mistake of doing mine in March the first time and was wrapped in compression thru the summer!!!  

As soon as you are within 10-15 lbs of your goal or right at that normal BMI mark start going on consultations with surgeons.  They normally are booking a couple months out anyway so you'll still have time to drop a couple more lbs before surgery.  (FYI - all reputable plastic surgeons will insist you are at a normal BMI and stable with weight loss....some require a 3-6 months maintenance before they will operate).

Let me know if you want to call and chat about it....
TTF

Hi again Ruth - oh boy, that is good information about getting the arms done - I will definitely keep that in mind - it's these little details that are so helpful to know about. I haven't worn sleeveless tops since I was a kid because my arms were larger, then larger , then huge and now malformed and disgusting so I am really looking forward to wearing short sleeves and maybe even sleeveless - LOL I would hate to time it wrong like you did. These are the things plastic surgeons don't tell you. Poor you because you're down in Florida - wrapped in compression arms in the summer.  Okay 10-15 pounds before goal - that sounds closer than being at goal - that makes me feel better to know that I can aleast get going on the final chapter leading to surgery.

It's funny, I shed my weight without WLS because I was afraid of the surgery - LOL now I look forward to having plastic surgery for reconstruction.

edited to add; I looked at my ticker and see I'm right now about 21.5 pounds away from goal - so now I'm really feeling good because that puts me about 5-10 pounds away from starting consultations with surgeons - okay Ruth, this is really helping me to feel good about all of this. thank you for your words of wisdom. You don't know how much this has helped me.

Howdy....

I still have not been able to go out in sleeveless or even short sleeves yet...I'm always in at least 3/4 sleeve but I've managed to find some nice thin shirts/tops/blouses so I'm not too warm.  The sun is just way to strong here for me to risk damaging my scars...I want them all healed up before I expose to the sunshine. 

I know what you mean about looking forward to having plastic surgery....it's also very different.  WLS you are re-arranging your internal organs.  Plastic surgery yo are getting rid of excess skin...unwanted/undneeded skin.  It's a good thing!! 

Start making those consultation appointments.  Please be sure to meet with more than one or two surgeons.  You'll learn from each one you meet and then you can decide who you felt most comfortable with.  Listen to your gut!!!

Can't wait to hear about your consutations and then it will be the before/after pics...what fun!  You are so close to the finish line!
Have a great afternoon!
TTFN
Ruth

Thanks Ruth - you're right - I was afraid of messing with my internal organs and the possible permanent complications that some people suffer after WLS. But Plastics is a good thing because it will eliminate those hang downs where you can get infections etc. so yes, you're right. Plastics is a good thing. Although I do regret that I let myself get so obese that I need to have plastics - but what is done is done. I'm just so thankful that I can afford to fix this mess I made for myself.

I'm starting to get excited about this now and also scared about the pain etc. I will definitely let you know about the consultations and before and after pictures. I have to say that I have been so thankful to be able to watch you and others going through the process and showing your pictures throughout the process so I know what to expect. - as you said Ruth, to pay it forward.

Thanks

Well Sklyar, it looks like you are at the place I couldn't WAIT to be!  Congratulations you.

I realize that you think that you are not at the right place in your journey to visit the plastic surgeon, but trust me, you are.  Let me 'splain my reasoning.  You are probably not going to choose the first plastic surgeon you visit and even if you do, it's still best to get at least three different opinions and find the best post bariatric plastic surgeon for you...believe me, they are not all created equal.  There are many different opinions out there on the way things should be done, so it's helpful to hear of the variety.  I had to kiss two frogs before I found my prince!  Booking all of the consults will take time so I say do it now.  Most doctors you have a consult with will give you prices that last for a year, so you will have plenty of time to make decisions.  Plus you have the benefit of thinking about each physician and how comfortable you feel with them and where they perform their surgeries.

Here's why you need to go to see them now.  I don't know what your body looks like under alla that skin and you won't know if you need to lose anymore weight until you have a doctor lift that skin and feel what your muscular and skeletal shape is really like, not what you see when you pull skin up, remember, you're pulling muscle up with that, the surgery won't do that.  Who knows, you may be skinnier under that skin than you think you are.  Especially in the derrier' and boobs.  As for my doc, he says that some of the women he works on come to him so thin that they have no tissue left to form a breast out of once he cuts away the skin.  You gotta have sumpn' left in there to make a boob with girlee!  And not to discourage you, but once you have been morbidly obese, it is VERY COMMON to need revisions on your sugeries.  It's nothing that the doc does wrong, but once your skin has been compromised for so long, the skin sometimes just stretches, I think it has to do with the swelling from surgeries on skin that has no elasticity left.  I don't know if you have any junk left in your trunk, but it is helpful in an LBL (lower body lift) to have some junk to form the toosh.  I don't know what your body looks like so I can't make a judgement, I can only tell you my experience, but I have seen tons of pics with what I call an LBL butt, flat as a pancake!  Mine is nice and round as the day I was eighteen because doc told me if I lost anymore weight he couldn't guarantee a good outcome.   My point is, only a surgeon can tell you what is possible for your individual body, we're all different, so go see one and you may be pleasantly surprised with what he has to say.

Just one more thought.  My surgeon practices out of plastic surgery suite that is on the campus of a major hospital with one other surgeon.  What I really like about that is that you are not in a hospital where people are ill.  If you're sick, you don't get plastic surgery.  I've had multiple surgeries and no infections or wound separations, ya gotta love that.  No sitting in hospital waiting rooms either before surgery.  I like that, too.  The big pay off is that the surgery is cheaper because you get one price for everything instead of paying for the OR and anesthetician seperately from the surgeons fee.  And when it comes time for minor revisions, the surgeon is able to do them for you for free or really cheap.  I had to have a minor revision on my breast implant and a little lipo and doc did it totally free including OR and Stacy, my dishy anesthesiologist.  I'm just saying, if you can find this cir****tance, it really is a big luxury!

Well now that I've talked your ear off, all I have left to say is God bless your plastic surgery journey!

Mary    

Oh boy Mary, lots to digest here and all of it good. I'm actually feeling excited now. I know two surgeons that I want to see, both are nationally known and recognized - but I think they operate out of the teaching hospitals - I don't know if they have a stand alone surgical suite - maybe they do. I have to look into that. Yes, my two biggest fears are infection and wound separation - with infection being the scariest. I can see the value of having surgery away from the hospital OR with the comingling of patients who are seriously ill. I just told DH that and we're in agreement, that is definitely something to discuss with the surgeons.

I am not looking forward to that post surgical swelling LOL I can see where it stretches the skin out leaving you with a minor revision.

LOL when I pull my butt skin up I have no butt whatsoever but I think I still have breast tissue - or rather I hope I have some because I really don't want to do implants if I can avoid it. Still want something for the DH LOL.

Okay I'm feeling better - I just need to lose a few more pounds and then I'm off for surgical consults. I didn't realize it was important to get their input but it makes sense since I have to show them what I have to work with and find out from them what they need me to do to be the best material they can mold to acheive my goals.

thanks everybody. this is the best.

You made me think about something that made me smile when you said you didn't realize it was important to get their input.  Miss 'Thought She Knew it All" here goes to see doc for the first time and procedes to tell him that I want to have my LBL and thigh lift at the same time and my arms and boobs done next.  He sat there patiently and listened to what I was saying like he thought I was making good sense and then says he needs to feel my spine.  What?  Huh?  Feel my spine?  My spine is one of the only things that didn't have hanging skin!  So he starts pressing hard near the bottom of my neck and said my breasts would have to be first to be done because the weight of them was curving the top of my spine and if we fixed them now, the spine would straighten itself out.  Well now, none of the other surgeons said anything about that, they were going to do what I wanted done.  Hmmmm?  Then he proceeds to tell me that I need an axilla repair (side boobs) done with my arms and that would need to be done together so that I would have one running incision.  This could not be done with my breasts because of blood flow issues with the incisions being that close.  Who knew about blood flow issues?  Same with the LBL and thigh lift, he doesn't do them together because of blood flow issues, skin being pulled in the opposite direction, and the possibility of interrupting the lymph system and causing more swelling than necessary.  Holy cow!  That's something they don't tell you on the websites that you go to to look at before and after pics.  Our standing joke was when I would always make a grand pronouncement of something I wanted done and he would give me that cute little boy chit eatin' grin and say, "It don't work that way."  He told me that a LOT!!! 

Yes, unfortunately we need their input!  LOL  And although I didn't always get things done the way I wanted them and I didn't always get my way, I'm glad I had a surgeon who was willing to stand up to me and do things right.  Happy surgeon hunting,

Mary