It's been a while!

I haven't been on here much lately - and mostly because I feel like a loser (not the good kind either).  I wasn't exercising as much, and I certainly wasn'****ching what I was eating.  I was sure I had gained back the 12 pounds I lost in March.

I refused to step on the scale in April - I just knew the news would be bad.

Sunday I started doing hot yoga.  It has been good, and I was feeling pretty good.  Tuesday morning I stepped on the scale - I figured I just needed to know wher I was at.  I was shocked - it showed that I had lost another 8 pounds, for a total of 20 pounds.  I was feeling GREAT!   For the first time, I actually felt like I could do this!  I was "faking it" before when I said I thought I could, but Tuesday and Wednesday I genuinely felt like it was a possibility.

Then, this morning I stepped on the scale again - and it was up 12 pounds from where it had been Tuesday morning, and I am beyond depressed now. I feel like giving up.  I don't want to, but that motivation I felt after weighing myself Tuesday is all gone.  I just want to curl up in bed and cry.

I knew this journey would be long and hard, but I feel so depressed over everything right now - my work, my marriage, my parenting...what is the point of fighting it??

Sorry, I needed to vent a little.  I hope everyone's week is going better than mine! 

Heather.

 I feel for you, this is a hard journey indeed! it is not a constant happy journey of losing weight, but DON'T quit! you can still do, take some pressure off yourself and focus on what is most important to you at this time, dont feel the need to do everything all at once, thats what I did and I burnt myself out, I am just now getting to the point where I feel I can put some determination back into my weight loss journey, I am going to the Dr. tomorrow and and have not stepped on a scale for close to a month, im not really looking forward to it, but I am already preparing myself, if I have gained (and Im sure I have gained some) it will come off and then some, im choosing not to be devastated by it or get depressed over it, (which I have done in the past) but I know that this is for life, and I am no longer making myself feel like i am in a race, this journey will take the time that it takes to get there, learn all you can about this process, and yourself and allow the time needed to get you there! hang in there, I know this is hard, but you are worth it! take care!  

I'm sending you giant cyberhugs ((((Heather)))) - this isn't easy. I think Michelle's response is really great. Shedding weight is not a fast race and then you arrive nice and skinny for the rest of your life - it doesn't work that way. Rather this is about making permanent changes in the food choices you make - enough to shed the weight and then to maintain the loss. It is hard, you're fighting against this obesigenic society in which fattening, addicting ,easy and cheap food is available everywhere and you have to fight all that. In addition, no one has it always perfect and always easy - we all have times when we slip or get frustrated or fall off the wagon - it's part of being human - the trick is to jump right back on to the wagon to continue the journey.

I don't know how you can do Hot yoga - yikes, that too hot for me. I bet you got seriously dehydrated from it and that could account for a difference in weight - due to lots of water loss. And then the water returns as you eat and drink again.

Please don't be depressed, just try to get that determination back - and venting here is a great idea because it helps you feel better.

Myself, I'm going through a frustration period - I'm so sick of my hanging skin and I can't wait to lop it off. I've been emailing back and forth with Ruth to help get a reality check. I know some people end their journey early when it gets hard to shed more weight and then get plastic surgery - but it's best to wait until you've lost all the excess fat because the surgery is easier and the results are better. I too just have to get my determination back to continue the journey until the end before having plastics. I am thankful that I will be able to afford plastics because I'm going to need it.

I hope that we can help get you back on track.

Thanks for the replies and the support!  It is frustrating.  The funny thing is - my weight wouldn't have bothered me if that had been it when I first stepped on the scale - but to be down 20 and feeling good, and then go up that much in 2 days - it just about killed me! :)  But, I won't give up.

I went and did my regular training session last night, and it went well.  I felt good.  I think the hot yoga is working.  It is hot, but it feels kind of good to sweat all that stuff out too.

Anyway, thank you again for the support and understanding.  You both are doing great, and it is always nice to hear your successes.

Heather.

 OMG, i feel the same way, i lost 15 lbs, gained 2 then 4 then lost 4..i cannot stand it
i also go up 10lbs the week prior to my period..10lbs r u kidding me?

i started going to see a personal trainer..i am too heavy for her treadmill, cannot do anything on my knees or elbows..everything hurts soooo bad, so hard to keep exercising, all always pull pr tear tendons or ligaments..i currently have a partially torn achilles and a knee ligament on the verge of tearing
my brain wants to ride a bike, run with my kids and exercise all the time BUT my big fat body is sooo heavy and my belly hangs and i am getting so limited and is such a burden..i am so pissed off and disappointed

my stress is sooo high right now being a single mom, financial troubles post divorce, job issues, there is just no room for the added stress of tryng to diet and lose weight..i have no reserves I feel like I am running on fumes
the high levels of stress are sabotaging my weight loss by keeping the cortisol levels too high ...dammit

sorry i need to vent too

this is just so hard

Heather, sometimes I just need to re-group. I start focusing on the basics 1st like sleep and eating. Once I make sure my rest and eating are down tight then I work in the exercise slowly.