revolving door

 so i am a revolving door on this huge weight loss issue
so i have had a really stressful weekend so far there are times I am  just overwhelmed by doing it all on my own that is is just too much to take
did all the tricks, journalled, went to the park and played with the kids etc
BUT, i actually ate a whole chocolate bar and had a little ice cream yesterday and feel awful bout it

so revolving in my head, can't control these stressful eating patterns = 100% need WLS
OK doing Ok on the diet etc = I can do this without WLS

i need  a break to re-group and take care of some stuff, maybe i can find a way to take some time off work and relax, take some time for myself and exercise every single darn day...i want to sooo bad and i am also looking to see if I can rent some exercise equipm't, can;'t afford to buy, no time to join gym but i need it at home so i can do it when they kids eat dinner or when they go to bed etc..

anyways, just floundering this weekend...flip..flop..flip..flop

Hi Jody,

It is hard - there is unhealthy food everywhere - you can't miss it. We live in a obesogenic environment ; almost everything we do and come in contact is making us fat. It's hard to fight it but it can be done. 

I feel in some ways you're trying too hard - you shouldn't have to rent equipment or join a gym - just take the kids and go for a walk. At work, during lunch and during a break take a walk go to the stair well and walk up and down stairs a little bit - not to the point of exhaustion but slowly work your way up. You don't have to spend any money to get fit. Get the kids involved in a routine of walking after supper or watching you do your tapes in front of the tv.

try not to beat yourself up too bad about the bad foods - instead think about how you can avoid them. Plan ahead - is there anything you could have done to avoid eating the chocolate and ice cream? Was there a trigger that sent you to eat them? Fill your body with healthy fruits and vegetables which are very low calorie - if you eat enough of them then you will be so full you won't have room to eat junk. I can't eat those foods myself - they are just too addicting and once I got over the worst of the cravings I don't miss or think about them - however I'm still human, when I see them, a small part of me still wants them - but because my diet doesn't allow me to go hungry, I can easily resist them now. Figure out how to reward yourself not using food.

Good luck

 I am eating up to 6 cups of vegies a day and smaller amounts of fruit and clean proteins of fish, chicken or tofu..also some NS nuts

what is even crazier..when i eat about 3 cups of vegies and some protein(my std meal) i am eating slowly, well u kinda have to cuz of all the vegies..within 1 hour of finishing i am hungry again

so i sat there thinking, is this hunger..am i thirsty,, all that..tried some tea(herbal) water, went for a walk and stillhungry...it is like it never passes..or my signals are all screwed from gut to brain??not sure?
i figured after 5 weeks of eating like this my body would adjust and all the protein would help suppress my appetite..but nope..


my protein shake in the morning fills me up for only about 2 hours, so that is not too bad and it is only 230 calories and 34 g of protein

i know if i could find a consistent way to exercise i would feel better...i am sorry but walking is just not enough for weight loss for me, it is great to maintain but not for loss
i have seen specialists etc cuz i have exercised really really hard under their care and still nada, it is crazy..they only time I have ever lost weight was when i did research up in the high arctic working 14-18 hours a day..
i have asked all of the docs to help me figure this out- theoretically :
x# of activity = x# of calories burnt off
i am a science geek at heart and it makes sense in theory and i get so frustrated when the theory is not working

my sister faces the saem thing, she is at a very healthy weight but loves to workout..she was following a medical diet to try to lose 20lbs and continued with her trainer working hard and nothing no weight loss for 2 months, or i think 2 lbs...then she just took a break from exercise and dropped 10lbs in one week..it makes no sense, her workouts are cardio not weight building and now she has stumped the medical ppl too

it is just NUTS and very very frustrating
i know i may be hard on myself but it is for a very good reason- so no i cannot afford the chocolate bar cuz today the scale was 2.5 pounds heavier, even after decent BM's etc..

i know i may sound crazy and maybe i am

Hi Jody,
Don't get too discouraged.  It's good to recognize that changes need to be made but you can't beat yourself up over the candy bar.
Yesterday I ate a hot dog for the first time in over 2 years.  I also had a NY style pretzel. I felt worse about eating the doughy pretzel but I am not punishing myself over either.  I adjusted myself for the rest of the day and tried to drink lots of extra water.

You said "so revolving in my head, can't control these stressful eating patterns = 100% need WLS" 

I want to share a thought with you.....having surgery will NOT remove the stresses that cause you to eat.  Having surgery will probably not stop you from eating a candy bar (you may change the type of bar to a no-sugar one but it's still a candy bar).  I just don't want you to think that having surgery will cure everything for you.  It is a tool, a plan (like WW is a tool or plan) but you still have to do all the work.....you have to eat the right foods (or you'll get really sick), you have to learn to control what is triggering you to eat.  Please believe me I am not against surgery...it's a good tool for many people but I worry when I hear people say things like "I have no self control or I can't stop eating so I'll have surgery to fix it".....

Exercise....you do not need to join a gym or buy/rent equipment.  WALK.......all you need is sneakers.  Put the baby in a stroller and go for a nice walk.  Start with 10 mins if that's all you can do...then challenge yourself to do a little more and a little each day.  Before you know it you will be up to 30 mins.  Then really push and make it a goal to get to 1 hour.  You'll be amazed how much faster the fat melts away.  And if time is really tight and you can honestly only squeeze out 30 mins for yourself then at least do the 30 mins but each day walk faster and faster. 

I living proof that it can be done.  I HATED exercise all my life and made every excuse why i couldn't do it....too busy, too tired, helping this one or that one...etc etc....but instead of watching re-runs of 2.5 Men I got off my rear-end and started to walk.  I did own a stationary bike (I sold it)  so I decided instead of sitting in my comfy chair and watching "the biggest loser" I would ride during the show....the rest of the week I would watch Rachel Ray cooking shows and ride my bike. 

Anyhow....challenge yourself to find 30-60 mins that you can go for a walk and go, go, go.... You'll be so glad you did!

Let me know if you want to chat about it..

 hi thank u for the support, i am not always clear in the way i write, i speak better than i write

revolving in my head..etc, i mean that i would have a stronger tool to help me, i was thinking bout trying OA, never really liked WW?? any opinion on OA?

as for exercise, I could walk for hours, if i had hours..i have been walking during my lunch hour for an hour..but i love exercise, have always exercised very hard so I know that my body needs about 1-2 hrs a day to have any affect at all...what i need is at least 1-2 hours brisk walking and about 1 hour of cardio either aquafit or elliptical,bike etc...now that would be just to maybe break a 1-2 lbs loss a week..if i really want to drop some weight i would have to workout about 5-6 hrs a day..no joke
no exaggeration
i need to be super sweaty and almost at the breaking point and then i know my body got a good workout

so i need to rent some equip't to extend my workouts 

i wish just walking would be enough but it is just NOT for me anyways..i have been working with numerous personal trainers and i need to drop a little more wait so i will be confident to try some running..like 1 min running then 3-5 min walking etc..but i have a partially torn achilles that kind makes me really scared to fully tear it.
the other thing that works for me is boxing, what a great cardio workout and u sweat like a piggy, feels good too

i need to find some way to deal with these times of being so overwhelmed..like in my head i am waving a white flag, like I have had it, I am done, no reserves nothing...maybe i should try my meditation cd's again

thanks again for the support

How many calories are you eating each day?

 btwn 1200-1500, i know if i want to drop more weight i could lower it, but i remember being on dr.bernstein and eating 800 calories and being starving, losing about 20 lbs and gaining it back

i weigh 365lbs and i am 5'8.5"

so in theory it would take over 3000 calories just to maintain 365 lbs so by cutting by 50% there should be weight loss?? as discussed with my nutrionist

Hey Jody,

Some may wonder why I'm posting here, well I started my journey in the non-op forum and check back to see how the "old timers" are doing periodically.  I rarely post here, but felt I might make a difference so here goes.

I have to disagree with your nutritionist.  Don't you just love it?  I'm not a nutritionist, nor have I gone to school, but I think you are eating too little to lose weight.  My guess is that you might be in starvation mode with the extra exercising.  You know your body better, but this is just my guess.  I found when I was your weight, I needed 1500-1800 calories and only did minimal exercise to lose weight at the time.  I know it's hard, but you might want to add in extra healthy calories and see what happens.

As for your hunger, I suggest ditching the protein shakes for right now.  You need dense protein with veggies to help curb some of the hunger.  Even for me, protein shakes only keep me full 2 - 3 hours.  I do it to get all my protein in for the day due to my altered anatomy.  Also, do you drink before, during, or after you eat?  If you do, then this other little tip might help keep you full longer...stop drinking 15 minutes before you eat, DO NOT drink during your meal, and don't drin****il 45 minutes after you've finished your meal.  This is the rule my nutritionist gave me.  It helps keep food in the tummy longer.  Beverages flush out the food faster.

Now as to WLS, only you can answer if it's right for you.  I started my journey as a NON-Op and even lost 50 lbs the "normal" way with diet and exercise.  Guess what?  I couldn't keep it up and fell off the wagon and gained 10 lbs back.  That's when I had a nice long talk with myself and decided that I needed the extra help.  It's nothing to be ashamed about to admit that I needed that extra help to get healthy.  Now saying that, it doesn't fix the head hunger, addiction, etc.  It only limits the amount of food you can take in at any given time.  For the most part I'm very happy I did it, but there are times it's hard to deal with.  I'm actually "re-programming" my brain yet again to accept the fact I can't eat like "normal" people and you know what?  That's ok.

Do what's right for you and your family.

Here's my 2 cents.......
I think you are not eating enough.  When I was actively losing weight I was eating 1,800 cals when I weight 260.  Every time I lost about 50 lbs I'd re-calculate how much I needed to eat and would cut my calories down by a couple hundred so I could continue to lose.

If you start now eating only 1200 - 1500 you can't reduce your intake by much as you do lose weight so long-term it will be difficult for you.  By starting at about 2,000 you could drop to 1,800 then to 1,500, and finally around 1,250.  And you are tall you could probably eat a little more
The body is funny....I'm sure you already know this.....if you do not give it enough "energy" (i.e. calories) to fuel the fire it will hold onto what you give it storing in reserve.

MANY times in the past I "dieted" by cutting by cals way down......I lost weight but after a few weeks I was going crazy.....I was hungry an preoccupied thinking about food so I stopped and failed.

This last time I ate more, rarely felt hungry and kept losing weight.  Also, because i did it "slow and steady" my body has responded nicely....if I had dropped it too fast I would have had even more saggy skin than I ended up with.

I know of a website that helps you figure out how much you need to eat to lose X amount of pounds each week.  I'll dig it up and post it here for you to check it.

Give it some thought.....

Jody....I think you're eating too little too.  Try upping your calories to 1800, even 2000 and see what happens.

Also...you might want to try Craig's List for a great deal on some used exercise equipment.

Good luck to you.