sitting on the fence

 I need to confess something. I have finally decided to have WLS and now I am wavering thinking No, you can do it yourself..then I say OMG but u r so big, if u could have done it by yourself you would have done it by now
my life is hectic, single Mom two young kids, work fulltime etc.etc.etc...how could I manage th surgery and recovery? what about the risks and my kids are so young?
so I have been changing the way I am eating and for the first time in my life, something has 'clicked' in my head..i may have some head hunger'craving' like french firies, I will eat one or two and then throw it out..it is weird it doesn't taste the same to me anymore
I am eating high protein, low carb, low sugar and low fat- lost 10 lbs already but I need to lose a whole person, the amount just seems overwhelming
I am also having trouble finding exercise time, kids are up before 6am, if i get up earlier and make any noise they wake up..evenings are busy with soccer etc..
I have been using my lunch hours at work for exercise and 2 nights a week I do aquafit, it is not enuf for my body..my body is very tough and likes to hold onto the weight..I used to workout 1-2 hours a day with a trainer in a gym and after 7 months of this I only lost 15 lbs..so it is very very frustrating
So, I am going thru the process of WLS here in Ontario and it canbe long and they do oodles of tests, which is great, less post op problems..so will keep dieting and exercising and see how it goes until surgery time and hopefully will have made up my mind by then

my biggest hurdle with the WLS is that I cannot wrap my head around making such a drastic physiological change to my organs..i am such freak bout things

so I welcome all advice and criticism to help get off this darn fence

Hi Jody,
Something that Skylar said really hit home with me, "there's nothing wrong with my digestive system".  Why mess with an organ that's working just fine?  WLS is a good tool to get you started but in the end we still have to fix the problems that made us obese in the first place i.e. getting our emotions and any psychological problems straightened out, learning new healthy habits etc.  WLS helps you lose the weight fast which is good but there's the risk of so many complications plus the hair loss.  Non surgery weight loss is slower and that can be frustrating so sticking to your plan really depends on how motivated you are over time.  I think if you can lose weight without surgery there's the added bonus that you will most likely be learning to change your lifestyle and eating habits which means you will probably be able to maintain your weight loss.  Change is not easy but with our without surgery change would be necessary for long term success.  Good luck with whatever you decide.

I have to run to an appointment but wanted to quickly throw in my 2 cents........

Even with WLS you have to make the same lifestyle changes or the weight loss will be temporary.  I am not anti WLS, I think it's a great option and encourage my niece to do it, HOWEVER it is not the solution on it's own.  You have to do all the same work with your head and emotions that I had to do to lose my weight.  You just cannot continue to eat all the same foods for the same reasons and expect to keep it off for the rest of your life.

Sooooo my advice....if you are having second thoughts, postpone surgery for 3 months....make a serious commitment to lose weight and get healthy.  Once they cut you open and re-route your plumbing you cannot say I changed my mind........it's permanent........you need to be 100% sure you want this and are ready for it.  Take a little time to really think about it if you are not sure.

Would love to chat more about it but gotta run....will check back later
Best wishes on your journey!!

Hugs Jody!

I cannot add anything that these two lovely ladies have said.  But having been through WLS (LapBand) and thanking the Dear Lord Above it was reversible (I had it removed after 2 years), I never want you to go through the regret I did, especially if it's surgical rerouting. 

I wasn't ready *in my head* for WLS, and like you, now it's CLICKING and I'm losing weight.  I also have 2 small children, but I stay at home, so I have the luxury of exercising and, for the first time in centuries, I WANT TO!!!!  It's for life.  I *have* to exercise 3 hours a week for the rest of my days.  And I'm happy about it. 

If you have 150+ pounds to lose, it's hard....because we want to lose it NOW!  But that's not going to happen.  You and I know that losing the weight takes so much more work and dedication than gaining it!

Sit down....make goals.  I honestly think you can lose all the weight you need to, in 2 years, without surgery, if you put your heart and MIND to it!

We all understand if you want to have WLS and support you, just please be 110% sure that it's what you want.

God Bless You on your Journey!

Jody....good luck to you, whatever you decide.  I think you're wise if you're having doubts to postpone surgery for a while....or go through the process, if it's a long one and put that time to good use doing it through healthy choices and exercise.

Not sure exactly what your food plan is, but try to increase the amounts of fruits and veggies....that with lean protein and whole grains should show results on the scale.  I find that I have to stay away from sugar and white flour to stem my cravings.  I know you don't feel like you have much time for exercise, but it sounds like you're making the most of your schedule.  When you're at the kids soccer games, can you watch while walking around the field?  Don't know how young your little ones are, but maybe kicking a soccer ball around with the ones not playing on the sidelines would give you some extra activity too.  Park far away from the stores, take the stairs...all those little lifestyle changes add up to burning extra calories.

I have nothing against WLS, but like everyone mentions....the lifestyle changes have to come no matter what.  Might as well give them 100% of your effort while going through the process and make your decision from there.

i was scheduled for wls on 4/27/10, on 4/26/10 i called and cancelled.  i don't have anything against it (obviously) but i just kept thinking, if i can't change my eating habits then there's no way this will be successful in the long run and by then i might actually hurt myself (now please know, this is only my own personal story and i know there are people who have had great success with the wls) but i just kept thinking i have to learn to eat properly first and if i have to do that anyway, then i might as well try on my own one more time.  and i have noticed that since i came so close to the surgery, it has clicked in my head that i need to make this work this time- i know it won't be easy, but nothing worth having ever is!!  whatever you decide, i wish you luck!!!   

Hi Jody. I was in your shoes and decided to stop just before the surgery. BTW, I see you have a sleep study coming up soon, please don't cancel that. My sleep study was the best thing of the whole WLS process because I didn't know I had sleep apnea. I can't tell you how fabulous it felt to have a good night sleep using my CPAP machine and it helps in shedding weight.  I know OHIP is notoriously slow, but I don't know how long you have to wait. If I were you I wouldn't step out of the queue until you were certain in your decision.  Postpone things to slow it down. Don't have surgery if you aren't certain - there are indeed serious risks and as you point out you're a single mom raising two children. You have to be at peace with your decision.

You may read on the main board "they operated on my digestive track but the problem is in my head" and people complaining about "head hunger". There is nothing wrong with your digestive track and having WLS can alter it permanently causing problems after surgery or later in life depending on the surgery. It's the head problem - what you put in your mouth that is the real issue and that's what I decided I needed to fix. Fixing your head can help you be a better model for your children. I've been a member here (and on other websites) for quite awhile but I lurked longer and I've seen a whole lot of people go through their WLS journey and shed a lot of weight, only to come back a few years later having gained much of it back - I feel so bad for them. Do you realize that some people have had 3 different weight loss surgeries? WLS results are only permanent when you fix the head. So my advice is work on your head and if you get that screwed on tight, then don't bother with the surgery. You will be much healthier. I know that feeling of desperation, that WLS is your only solution - but that's not true - the only thing true is that you need to shed that excess fat to improve your health. WLS or diet alone can be hard at the beginning to get into a new routine. (((HUGS))) we want to help support you which ever you decide to do and it is a personal decision that you alone have to make.

I'm impressed that you're thinking and working to increase your exercise - have your kids participate - take them for walks whenever possible- make it a routine for everyone. Maybe walk around the neighbourhood after supper or turn off the tv and play tag or hide and seek? Keep in mind that it takes a lot of exercise to burn a few calories - lowering the calories that we take in as food is much more effective for shedding weight. Exercise is important to help keep our body in good working order.

Our diet has changed so rapidly even since World War II - most of the "food" that we eat wouldn't even be recognized back then, didn't even exist. Those of us who are obese are horribly affected by all this industrialized food - we have to go back and eat real, whole foods. When you stop eating that super processed food you will lose the taste for it. I think maybe this is happening with your french fries? No simple carbs like flour and sugar- no highly processed foods. Stick to complex carbs which are our bodies, especially our brain needs. Low fat - fat has more than double the calories of protein and carbohydrates. Fat has almost no vitamins, no minerals, no fibre and no phychonutrients - it's just empty calories and it's packed in all our industrial food.

Find a healthy diet - the meaning of diet is the food you eat - it's not a bad word. You want to follow it to shed your weight and slightly modify it to maintain your goal. Some people here are on WW, I love my McDougall diet and others use other diets. Let us know what you plan to do. I see you have a lot of weight to shed. I remember when I started and knew that I had about 200 pounds to shed and it was so depressing and overwhelming so I broke it up into very small goals and didn't focus on how much or how long it was going to take me. It was hard psychologically. I saw a good therapist for a few months to help work on issues.

Okay, I'm rattling on and this is very long, sorry. Time for me to get back to house cleaning.

 forgot to chg my ticker, I did the sleep study last friday..brutal..no sleep hopefully enuf to determine if i have apnea

thank u sooooo much for all the wonderful advice

I have been changing my eating habits for the last year, now I very serious about the changes, I am also starting a food journal, I am writing absolutely everything I put in my mouth. I need to get REAL honest, I am thinking I am under 1500 calories everyday. I am eating high protein, low carb etc ..but I think I need to cut it back even more so I need to have a clear idea of my total calories and total fat grams..
I also have worked very hard with therapists as well as personal kick your emotional/psychological butt weekend that has had a huge impact on my life, gave me enuf strength to separate from my husband when my daughter was only a few months old, also moved to another city and transferred my job..I am also tackling my huge debt, I figure I need to get it all under control, weight and money
I think the biggest difference is that I making plans, working it out systematically doing it..not just talkin bout it but writing it out, counting etc..it is hard work and I am going to actually WORK this time..even if I choose the WLS I will need to be very very conscious of what goes into my mouth

this process for WLS is long, they say it may October or November if I am approved for the surgery..so I am using this time to get real damn serious with myself

Oh BTW moosie, r u kidding my nick name is moozie..I have never heard it before..how did u get the name?

so I guess I will be creepin around this forum for some help, if u guys don't mind

thanks again for the help..I need it cuz my sister lives around the corner from me and she had the RNY 10 yrs ago and all she eats is candy and chocolate, not a real good role model:-(

you seem to be on the right track getting everything in your life in order, that's a good mindset for success.  try using  http://fitday.com/   to journal your eating and exercise.  it's really great for keeping track of calories and nutrients, it tells you how many calories you need to lose weight and shows you a graph of caloric intake compared to what you are supposed to have for your weight and height, you can set a goal and keep track of your progress, it's a really good tool and makes counting calories much easier.

Wow, girl....you've tackled some BIG issues and I'm more convinced than ever that you have the strength and determination to handle this weight loss one too!  You're a Mamma Bear protecting her little ones and there's no greater motivation.  Sounds like you've got a plan and know how to carry it out.  I really respect the positive changes you've made in your life...be proud of yourself!!!

You're in the right place....lots of support and encouragement on these boards! 
YOU GO GIRL!!!