Gloop and Skylar Blew My Mind!

Yanno ya'll, I thought that I have had just about every issue that a chubby girl could ever have.  I've binged, craved, drove my wagon into the ditch (too many times to mention), felt bad that I had lost weight when those around me hadn't, have serious body dysmorphia, and a whole host of other fat in the head girl issues.  But Skylar and Gloop were discussing something that I ain't nevva evva heard of in my life!  So ladies, please explain the rationale behind this statement:  If you've been good and lost a little weight, then you deserve the right to cheat a little bit.  

Just how does one come by this way of thinking?  Please 'splain!!!  ;-)

Mary 

I'm not answering for Skylar and Gloop, but have to throw my $.02 in here! 

Cmon, Mary....don't tell me you've never experienced that way of thinking in your battle of weight loss?  I think it's much more unusual to have never thought that way then to have experienced it and realized it's a self sabotager!!

If I thought of food as just fuel for my body (which I'm trying very hard to do), than it wouldn't be an issue.  BUT....I think food for most of us emotional eaters is much more than that.  It's love, comfort, a relief from stress or boredom, etc, etc, etc.  It only makes sense that we also have used it as a reward in our lives.  I think back to my childhood (or raising my children) and we give M&M's as a reward for potty training, when we're sick our mothers made us our favorite foods, we celebrate special occasions with going out to dinner, if you were good at the doctor's he gave you a lollipop....and on and on and on.

I think that was one of the first things I learned at WW years and years ago was to find ways to reward yourself other than food.  How many times have you heard of the ladies after a TOPS or WW weigh in going out for an ice cream sundae to celebrate their weight loss?  You've never actually heard of this concept?

I know I now try to find other rewards for my efforts....fresh flowers is one of my favorites.  You can even still use food, although in a healthful way.  If you struggle with money, you can treat yourself to some more expensive fresh produce (the more expensive fruits or veggies) that you wouldn't normally splurge on.  I think it all still boils down to making healthy choices.

this is a great question and topic for discussion.  i think it's like waiting to exhale.  i know i need to eat right and exercise so i'm holding my breath and making a grand effort to do right and i'm successful for a bit but meanwhile my food addiction is nagging at me, I NEED THAT FOOD TO FEEL GOOD!! it's my only real pleasure, so while, intellectually, i know i need to do the right thing, psychologically and physiologically i'm just a ticking time bomb.  so once i've lost a bit of weight and starting to feel healthy, as stupid as it may seem (and what addict doesn't act in an apparently stupid manner to a non addict) I reward myself with the crap that got me in the mess in the first place.  boy, putting it down in black and white like this is theraputic.  thanks for asking this question.

"it's my only real pleasure"

I think that statement is a real eye-opener!  I think so many of us do use food as "instant gratification/pleasure" with the emphasis on "instant".  For that split second that we put whatever in our mouth, it satisfies some deep need or emotional response and then 30 seconds later we're regretting our actions and the guilt and shame sets in.  So much happens in that 1 minute period....I swear you could probably do a whole doctorate dissertation on that one minute in time and all that it encompasses!!

Cmon, Mary....don't tell me you've never experienced that way of thinking in your battle of weight loss?  I think it's much more unusual to have never thought that way then to have experienced it and realized it's a self sabotager!!

Wow, now ain't I glad I asked the question...very inciteful conversation ladies!  Sherrie believe it or not, this particular sabotager was a thought process that never occurred to me.  Not that I didn't have my own personal set of self sabotagers, I just didn't have this particular one!  ;-) 

Now it seems odd to me that I didn't because both of my parents rewarded their children with goodies...a lot.  Cooking "special" was my mother's way of showing she loved us, but then again she was also feeding her own addiction so these meals were a way of hiding what she was going through.  My dad was in the Army and gone most of the time so when he was home it was "Candy Time"!!!

I guess I never thought in terms of cheating, I was an emotional eater out of control so I was more in tune with what was triggering my emotional eating.  Come to find out, it was hormones that were my emotions worst enemy, once they were fixed, I 'mostly' got fixed.  Mostly being the operative word...this is a lifelong journey, afterall!

Mary       

Thanks for getting my juices going this morning.....I mean getting my thinking process awake.......

Here's my 2 cents.

First I would encourage Skylar and Gloop to reframe the word "Cheat".  If you as grown adults with the ability to make decisions decide to have a Snickers Bar as your mid-day snack instead of your normal BP on celery (or something like that) then you are not "CHEATING" you made a decision that's all.  If you truly feel you are cheating then I'd say you are feeling some level of quilt....maybe you feel you cheated yourself...??

My thing is all about making choices.  Of course when I was losing there were a few occasions that I ate something that was not the best choice I could have made but I quickly made up for it so the "net/net" of the equation was not too bad.  But I stood by my decision whatever it was.

I think this is one of the big things that helped me overcome my food issues and helped me to change my relationship with food.  Food is not the enemy.

The other point I want to make is by saying "because you were GOOD, you can cheat" again implies you are getting ready to do something bad. 

I think re-framing thoughts removing all the negatives around/about food will help you in the long run.

When you feel good about losing weight and want to celebrate that you've stuck to your plan for X amount of weeks I say go for it....but maybe call it a TREAT instead of a cheat.  As long as you limit it and don't go overboard it seems "legal" to me....lol.

Hey I've never hidden the fact that as I was on my weight loss journey (and I have shed 194.6 lbs as of yesterday)  I had 1 free day every week during that journey.  PLEASE note that I did not go out and eat 2 Big Mac's or bag of Oreo's on that day, I still stuck to my basic plan but I added in some extra treats that i don't normally eat during the week.....like maybe I'd eat the small bag of baked lays chips, or have a small slice of my favorite pie (pecan pie), or 2 Oreo's.

I don't want to sound "preachy" and I hope I didn't come across sounding nasty......

Well that's my 2cents.....
TTFN
Ruth

Sherrie, this is another one I've never heard of, it's like a "group sabotage" mindset.  To me, this would be like recovering alcoholics going to happy hour for a drink after an AA meeting! 

How many times have you heard of the ladies after a TOPS or WW weigh in going out for an ice cream sundae to celebrate their weight loss?  You've never actually heard of this concept?

Ummm, Sherrie....just as an innocent bystander listening to what you are saying, Girl, you are hanging around with the wrong crowd of sabotagers.  At a WW meeting of all places!!!  You might want to start hanging with a crowd that won't validate your failures.  That's why you have US!!!  We want you to be successful so badly that we got no problem telling you to, "Step away from the ice cream!" 

Mwah, Mary

Mary....I've never been a part of a group to go out to eat (cheat) after a WW meeting.  Actually that is what my opinion of TOPS has always been, cause have known several people who have done that as part of that group.  I didn't want to just mention them (and throw just them under the bus), so threw WW in there as an example as well.  Sorry, about that WW....

Although I have to admit I have over the course of several associations with WW over the years, considered the rest of my weigh in day free rein in the food department (probably cause I felt I had the next six days to be back on program).  Now I know this is some "stinkin thinkin" and I very much like the idea of making an occasional "cheat" a "treat" and making it a conscious choice!  I like that idea, Ruth!

I think every body is different.  Whether they call it "cheat" or whatever, it's all the same in the long run.  I myself use to call it a cheat.  I (and a lot of others I have known) don't think of it as being bad, but as a way to NOT sabotage yourself. Just like some people don't believe in any extra bad foods at all.  Others that think they need it, if they can control their intake, might make a "cheat day or cheat meal" just to satisfy themselves. It will give them enough "umph" to make it another two weeks or whenever.

I think nothing of it when some one says they have a "cheat day".  If it works for them..so be it!  They might have it in their mind that it helps their sanity more than anything.  Plus their cheat day or item might end up being a 200-300 calorie item which isn't too awfully bad, considering other things they could have eaten.  

What works for the goose , might not work for the gander! : ) 

Plus...to me it's only a word. The amount of intake on the other hand is totally different!  There is cheating a little bit, and there is pigging out all day long.