What is holding you back?

What is holding you back from losing weight, keeping it off, reaching your personal goals and living the life you want to life?

I'm asking this because I've had a major realization about myself yesterday/today.......it's not weight related but I think it's similar.

I have a paralyzing fear of flying that causes me to to either NOT go places I want to go or I take alternate modes of transportation (car, train, boat) which is limiting and takes so much longer!!!  Worse yet, many times I just do nothing instead of trying to understand my fear and face what is holding me back.  I had to face my fears to understand what was making me and keeping me fat.....I've conquered that and I am living life in a healthy body.  

Now I just have to conquer my fear of flying!!!!  I'm talking about a really really bad fear that has basically kept me off planes for many years...... (I never liked flying and then had a very bad experience which stopped me flying)

So how about you.......... what is holding you back....what are you afraid of??

Please share....maybe we can help each other.

Hi Ruth - wow, that is a powerful post you just made. And yes I think all of us have some fears about losing weight will mean losing who we are.

Sometimes I am aware that I'm afraid of success - perfect success. I want everything to be perfect and I have trouble handling things are good enough but not perfect. Even with my weight loss I want to shed the perfect amount even though I know that doesn't even make sense. I struggle with it but I keep telling myself that sometimes it's important to be happy, even thrilled with less than perfect success. I find it helps. I also had professional therapy which helped me deal with this issue. I am still driven to perfection most of the time so I have to be very aware of what I'm doing to turn off this drive when it's not working for me. My old stinking thinking was that it's just easier to stay fat than to fail dieting but my new healthy thinking is that any fat shed is better and counts as success to be proud of and to celebrate.

I don't know what I would do if I had a fear of flying - I love to travel. Have you sought professional help - I know there are several different methods to help people overcome fears like that.

I know that I'm far from perfect, in fact in some places I'm truly as mess - but with age and therapy I've learned to accept myself and become a happy, upbeat person.

However when it comes to decorating my house - I just can't seem to even hang a picture on the wall - there is a huge block that I need to work on there. Maybe my next project after I finish shedding my weight to a healthy level - not necessarily perfect number.

At various times in my life I felt I sabotaged myself.......I figured out that I felt I was not worthy of all the success I was enjoying.  Why was I doing so well when others in my family struggled...I felt tremendous guilt for a number of years (not anymore).

Facing the scary monsters in our head is hard but once done it's freeing.

 This is right where Im at in my weight loss journey, I have come to a place where deeper issues are being revealed to me and I am learning to work my way through them and Trust God for success. I am a high achiever and I put a lot of pressure on myself, I have been known to tell myself that I have to try harder push myself more and limit my food even greater than I already have. This has not worked so well for me. I pushed myself right into an emotional breakdown and severe adrenal fatigue. So now rather than running faster and pushing myself harder, I am learning to slow down, take a deep breath and really deal with my issues. My goals are changing and this journey has come from wanting to lose weight and look good to wanting a centered focused and peace filled life, whi*****ludes having a healthy body, mind, and self image. I still have a way to go to get to my goal weight, and I am learning to be ok with that, I am not in a race, I am in this for life, the sooner I learn to take one day at a time and enjoy where I am at right here and right now, the sooner I will get to my goals. Thanks for posting this Ruth, I hope you get over your fear of flying, I kinda have the same fear, but I will fly if i have to, and I want to go to hawaii when I am at goal weight so I will have to get on a plane for that! I think you will be able to work through your fear and overcome it in confidence, just take it one step at a time until you discover what you are afraid of and why, and then work to replace the toxic fear with trust.   

OH, I know what I'm afraid of........CRASHING!!!
I have to let my logical side take over my emotional side with this......I've been battling it for 12 years hopefully I'm in a strong enough place that I can now try to face it.

Don't lose focus on your goal.  You are right, it's not a race.  It took me a long time to finally hit my goal....when I look back on my charts I avg just over 1 lb lose a week...yes some weeks were 3 and a couple of 5's but for the most part they were 1-2 and a bunch of zero's too so my avg is just slightly more than 1 lb a week.
My mom always says......."slow and steady" wins the race.  I may not have gotten it done in 6 months or even 12 but I did get it done and couldn't be happy.  Ok, well, I could be happier if I could get on a plane without having a panic attack for the next 4 weeks......... 

Hang in there....you can push through this....I know you can do it!!!!!!

Wow, what a smart lady you are...this is a great post!

I don't see anything wrong with having a fear of flying.  Only a moron would get on a plane and not be concerned about it not coming back down safely.  That's just being concerned.  As long as you are flying on a reputal airline and stay away from bad weather, that's really the only control you have over the ride.  Maybe that's part of your problem...you don't like not being in control???

I'd like to lose a few more pounds and I know exactly what is holding me back.  With my condition, it would require adding way more exercise than I already do and that would take up way more time.  I know I have it in me if I really put my mind to it, but I'm just not "desperate" anymore.  Being desperate to lose enough weight so I could have a breast reduction is what motivated me.  Without that motivation, I'm pretty much happy where I am.  Thanks for making me think about this, I need the motivation!

Mary

Hey lady, GREAT to see you here!!!!

Fear of flying.......I don't mind having a "healthy" fear of flying it's this paralyzing fear which keeps me grounded that I think I'd like to overcome.....I go back and forth with it.  why bother fly when I can drive or take a train....trains don't fall out of the sky.....

Being happy where you are is important.  My daily motivation is to maintain the optimal level of health for me.....I want to live a lot longer so I can have lots more fun.

Take care of yourself!
TTFN
Ruth

PS- Don't be such a stranger....