Reality

I got a nice dose of reality the last few days. I'm disabled it is a long story but I was told I would be in a wheelchair years ago. I try to act like it is ok, limit what I do and just be thankful I'm still walking. It may take me a week to do what should take a day but I try not to give in to it. Yesterday I couldn't even manage the Easter sunrise service. I couldn't stand through one song. There are times the pain is so bad I faint.
 
Getting the weight off will not change what is wrong with me, it would make it easier to get around and easier when I get to the point of needing help from others and better for the time when I may have to have other surgeries. I found myself this weekend saying I'm so miserable and in pain why bother, why try to lose weight. I just wonder if there is any hope of me getting this weight off without surgery.

I'm scared to death of the surgery because of more pain. I just feel like I'm running out of time and need to do like my doctors say and have some sort of weight loss surgery.
I know that I'm the only one who can make the choice but I just feel very frustrated at myself and the situation today. I figure it was better to come vent here than eat out of frustration.

mrsq,

I am so sorry for what you are dealing with and going through.  My pain is weight related, so I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you to have pain regardless of your weight.  I do understand how it can be frustrating though, and just want to seek a "quick fix".

I am not opposed to WLS - I think it is the right answer for some people (and after the weekend I have, I am seriously considering it myself), but it isn't an easy road either.  Sure, the weight comes off faster, but maintaining that loss is the big issue.

My personal trainer is always reminding me that nutrition is 80% of weight loss, exercise is only 20%.  Maybe try losing some weight, without worrying about the exercise/movement at first, and maybe you will feel more up to it as some of the weight comes off??

Sorry - I can't really be much help, but I want you to know that I am hear to listen if/when you want to vent!

Take care.
Heather.

I'm sorry for your pain Mrsq. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you but don't  let it cause you confusion. Consider it this way- even if you had WLS you know you'll still have some level of pain, right? So whats so magic about WLS that would keep you from asking those "whats the point questions?"  They'll always be hurdles in our journey- no matter which path we take. 

To back up what 4mygirls said; "nutrition is 80% of weight loss, exercise is only 20%" When I did WW i lost the weight with almost no exercise whatsoever. So if the pain is excluding you from exercise- forget about it for now. Work on the nutrition aspect!

Hi MRSQ,
Sorry you suffering.

I'm going to end up reiterating much of what the others said.
If you have WLS you will lose weight because you are forced to reduce your calorie intake.  HOWEVER, you still have the same struggles....your bariatric doctor and nutritionist will want you to make life changes so you get healthy.  Even after wls if someone continues to eat too many fast food meals, too much sugar, fats, starches, breads, candy, etc they will not be successful long term.  We've all heard about people who end up gaining back their weight after losing hundreds of pounds and the ones I've heard from or spoken too all say it's because "they went back to their old ways".   There are plenty of people who are very successful many years after WLS and they are ones who made some real changes. 

So it seems to me the decision you have to make is not what method you should use to lose weight (i.e. surgery or doing it on your own) but you have to decide if you ready to commit to yourself to make the life changes that will allow you to lose weight and keep it off.

I "dieted" for years (about 30 years), but it wasn't until I made a commitment to myself to get healthy that I was finally successful.

You are worth making the commitment, you are worth getting healthy.
I makes sense to me that if you lose weight and get healthy that things will be better for you....I'm not talking about the pain and disability you said is non weight related but not having all the excess weight hanging around you would just have to make things better.

As others said, if you can't exercise due to pain or physical limitations so be it BUT you can control what you eat, when you eat, how often you eat, so i say go for it!!!!  You can do it!!!!! 
Try it one day at a time!  I often took it one meal at a time!

Post more and let us know how you are doing.
Feel good
Best wishes!!!!

Thanks for the replies.

The thing is I know I will be having to go in for more injections soon just because the pain is worse and I will get the WLS is the answer lecture again. The surgeons will flat out say they don't want to do surgery on me regardless of weight but they still think WLS is the best thing in the world. I know it will require just as much effort but they seem to think it is ''easy''.
The thing is I try to really limit my pain meds due to seeing to many other people over the years end up addicted or with kidney and liver damage. Being fat the doctors don't want to consider alternatives they just say have WLS and give me a bucket of pills. If I took what they give me I would sleep 20 hours a day. Even when I lose weight it is not enough, it is my fault I ate the food and I admit it. I'm just feeling sorry for myself and guess I feel like if I was not fat they might try to help me more than just giving me pills. The last surgeon I saw told me I would have to be eating less than 900 calories a day to get the weight off due to my physical limitations. That is not what weightloss information says but when you say your on a 1200 calorie diet and the person you want to help end your pain says that is not low enough it just gets to you . I'm not sure I can go down to that low a calorie intake NOT having surgery.
I haven't stopped doing what I have been doing in regards to my measuring food counting calories and all it is just I'm in hopeless mode right now I'm sure I will snap out of it when the pain issue is better controlled. Thanks again

I'm sorry you're having all this pain. I agree with what every one else has said. Most of losing weight is the diet itself. If you look at how little calories you burn when you exercise versus how many calories you can eat in a few minutes at a fast food restaurant - it's shocking. Your brain alone uses approximately 400-500 calories - and it's not running on a treadmill.

Before I started my diet I was struggling with various health problems including autoimmune diseases which was causing severe inflammation in my muscles (myositis). At my worse I couldn't get up off a chair, DH had to help me. Walking up stairs to bed at night was hell and I couldn't chop veggies or lift stuff off the shelves in the pantry - DH had to cook. My arms and legs were red and swollen due to my muscles. I was miserable and frustrated. Needless to say I was on all kinds of medications thanks to my immunologist and PCP. I tried to walk - I could only go a few steps before I had to sit due to pain and weakness - but I kept at it trying to walk a little more and little more. But the most important thing I did for my health was changing my diet - not just a little modification but changing it completely to diet that reduced my inflammation to such a large degree that my immunologist couldn't believe that all my markers went down to normal. I was doing it more to reduce inflammation and health and the weight loss was a bonus. Now I'm walking 4 miles - and not just bent over hobbling but briskly. My ability to walk is really due to the diet because only when I started on it did I really begin to make huge progress with how far I could walk before I had to sit and rest. If I can do it you can to - this is a diet that can change your life. This is a diet that I wish I had found when I was young but I realize I had to be really ill in order to try it seriously.

I'm also not against WLS but I realize that there is nothing wrong with the digestive tract, it's in our head. WLS allows you to lose weight quickly, but so does a medically supervised Medifast or Optifast or something similar - so losing weight quickly can be done without WLS. But the real trick is keeping it off and that means a complete change in diet and a life long commitment to the changes - or the weight comes back on and you can see it regularly on the main board and it makes me so sad to read about these people If you already have health problems, you have to consider how you would handle some of the complications that WLS patients suffer from after surgery - things like reactive hypoglycemia. If you don't have health problems, then getting this is maybe a minor annoyance - but if you have many other problems this may be worse. Something to think about. WLS is a last resort but doesn't always work unless the person is totally committed.

You are right, it is better to vent here than eat poorly.

I forgot I wanted to add that WLS is not easy - there is nothing easy about major abdominal surgery and recuperation. Then there is learning how to chew your food for your new digestive tract and learning how to live with the physical and psychological changes.

You mentioned the Medifast program and it made me think of something funny. I did medifast about two years ago. I lost like 30lbs on it and it has stayed off but it was just to expensive to stay on. Anyway I had made me a dish of the beef stew stuff. My mother came over to visit and while I was out of the kitchen she thought she was being helpful and she fed my medifast to my jack Russel. She said she thought it looked like his food, what was so funny was when I came back in the room she said she thought my dog was sick because he wasn't eating. When I told her that was ''MY'' lunch she told me I might better stop eating that stuff if the dog wouldn't eat it.

Mrs Q,

Please follow the advice of your doctor.  You can commit to any "life style change" but that weight isn't going to come off as quickly as it will with WLS.  

Right now, you need help and all the help you can get.  I can tell that you're pride is inhibiting you from having WLS; you'll feel like you've given up.  Seriously, WLS is a humbling experience.  I really think you should look at your situation realistically.  I think it's time for WLS.  If you weren't in a wheelchair, my opinion would be completely different. 

Do what's best for your health.  Throw your pride in the trash for now.  You can pick it up again after you lose the weight.

Best of luck to you!