New to this forum

Hello Everyone,

I have had a few posts on OH & have always received very helpful info.
I find myself a little more obsessed then I like in regarding to weight loss.
I am feeling frustrated on the OHIP process & confused on whether I should just pay for surgery myself.
Guilt then steps in for myself...my family...MY KIDS! What am I doing????
Basically, I was admitted to the hospital for a couple of days this weekend due to the worst Migraine I have EVER had.
My poor kids have been down this road too many times before...mommy being hospitalizied for gallbladder, stones & pancreatitis.  The guilt kicks in....is it all due to the fact that I do not properly take care of myself?????
Can I continue to do this to my kids again~??
Should I just sit here & wait for this long process to begin?
Or should I fix it NOW?
 I am 205lbs & 5"0 My BMI is 40!  Although I do not want to be 105lbs as suggested I think it is reasonable to be around 120-130. I do like to have curves!!
I believe I can do that on my own. So I have decided to schedule my own appt with a Dietician/Nutritionist. A counselor to get my head in the game.
Going to meet with a personal trainer & see if she can help me reach my goal.
I figure I was willing to spend ALL this money on surgery....why not spend it to help me get into shape & spare me...my family out of any more pain. 
I understand everyone's needs are different. My best friend had RNY 3yrs ago & she has no regrets. It was the best thing she could have done for herself.
For me, I guess I know either way...surgery or no surgery I have to exercise!!
My family needs me & I need my family.  I believe I can reach my goal on my own with the right support.  MIND BODY and SOUL
(please do not get offended...this is MY feelings towards myself. I respect everyone's reasoning for making the choices they have made.)
Is there anyone else out there that has felt this way? I would love to share experiences & fears that you have conquered?

I absolutely relate to your guilt regarding your family.  I feel I have cheated my kids out of so many experiences that a normal size mother would have been able to give them.  They are a big part of my inspiration for starting a healthier lifestyle.  I'm still wavering.  I used to think I would never have this surgery, then I got desperate and decided to do it.  I've gone through the whole process and was supposed to have surgery tomorrow but then it got postponed and now I'm having doubts again.  I agree that a person can reach the goal. It's simple but not easy.  I think being on OH for support makes me feel I can give it one more try without the surgery.  I never had anything like this before, people to talk to and give advice, who know exactly what you're going through.  I also use OH for distraction to take my mind off of eating all the time.

I, too, can relate to the guilt as a mother.  I know my weight doesn't just affect my activity level, but also my overall mental health.  I spend so much time thinking about my weight and how depressed I am about it, that it depresses me even more.  And I know that is impacting on the amount of patience I have, and I hate that!!

They are my biggest motivator for losing the weight.  I also want them to inherit good habits - healthy eating and exercising.  They are 5 and 2, both girls, and I don't want them to ever have to struggle with the issues I have struggled with!

You definitely have to believe you can do this - I believe you can!! 

I am here for support, or a shoulder to cry on - whatever is needed!

Heather.

Hi Sol and welcome to our little corner on OH. I certainly can relate to what you say.

I started out wanting WLS, went through the system here and then came to the realization that lots of people do well with WLS for a few years and then they start to regain their weight - and it's because they didn't really change their diet - they were eating less because of surgery but slowly they could eat more and hunger kicks back in. I knew that I would be one to regain because I like slider foods - cookies, chocolate, ice cream etc. I can't think of anything worse than having WLS and gaining the weight back. Knowing I had to completely change my lifestyle let me to realize that I could do it without surgery. I needed to fix my head, the decisions of what food I put in my mouth - I didn't need to rearrange my completely normal and healthy digestive tract. I've stuck to it and I'm succeeding.

I was also scared of some of the complications that are common after WLS, things like reactive hypoglycemia, kidney stones etc. I just didn't want to take a chance when I was basically healthy.
 
I know you can do it with a good support team and we can help you along with your dietitian and counselor.

Hello and welcome to the forum.

I apologize that I can't give you a better response right now because I just had some major plastic surgery and not feeling too good tonight but I didn't want to ignore a new member to our little group.

I know you can find the strength to reach your goals....just stay focused and keep the promise you made to yourself to be good to yourself and get healthy.

You can get lots of support here.....post often...post the good and bad and there are folks who have gone through the same who can help.
I have my journey detailed out on my blog if you want to read it (not sure but you might have to be a friend to see it).

I hope to see you still here when I come back and have more time to post.
Best wishes to you on your journey!!!
Ruth