I feel like a failure - surgery vs doing on own???

 Hi,

I am in the process of getting WLS.  I am nervous about it.  I would like to lose 80#.  I am 52, menopausal and hypothyroid.   I am to be following the liver reduction diet as the surgeon would like me to lose 15# before surgery.  I just have been having the hardest time sticking to it.  It is so very restrictive - which I understand I need to follow this for the surgery.  In the meantime around the same time as my first surgeon's app't I also picked up the new Atkins book that was just released, which seems more doable, but cannot do that if I am to have surgery.  It seems like if overall will need to do low carb after surgery - is it better just to do something like Atkins/South Beach?  What makes the difference with having surgery?  Ugh.  I don't want to blow the surgery part, if I cannot get weight off on my own (I just cannot stick to anything! - even WW) - I don't know what my problem is.

Anyway - just wanted to vent at myself - I am down, scared, I've had bronchitis almost constantly since December and just tired.  

How have you all gotten with it and stuck with everything.  It seems once I "cheat" then it takes me a few days to get back on track.  It seems like I just cannot do anything.

The way I'm looking at it is that I'm giving the weight loss thing one more try before going for the surgical option. Just in educating myself about my surgical options I learned two things. 1. I'm a big chicken I'm already in pain 24/7 and I just don't know if I could handle some of post surgical problems I have read about on top of that.  2. My problem is my head not my stomach.  If I end up having surgery or not I have to fix my head before I"m going to be successful at anything. Short term yeah I would lose I'm sure but long term nothing would have changed.

I don't know about Atkins or any other of these ''diets'' honestly when you take away the fancy packages and stuff I think it boils down to finding out how many calories your body uses a day and taking in less than that. Eating less processed foods. That is really what the surgery does is restrict the calories you can take in so I'm trying to do that.

Weight loss is a very personal thing and I think only you know what is going to work for your life but I wish success with whatever choice you make.

I agree with mrsq. I was seriously considered WLS and then with some insight realized I was scared of having the surgery with it's complications AND I see daily on the main board, if you don't completely change your diet, then you gain some of all of the weight back. They operate on your digestive tract which is normal and not on your head which is making the poor decisions what to put in your mouth. It truly is a last resort.

I completely changed my diet - absolutely no refined foods because I was addicted to them like a cocaine addict - I just can't eat that food like a normal person. I eat only whole foods now and I have no problem with overeating or mindless eating and cravings. If I had surgery and I didn't make that connection I would have regained with slider foods - I know I would have. I have lost 155 pounds and have another 45 at the most to finish at a normal weight. I'm embarrassed that I allowed myself to get so large, but I'm proud of what I've accomplished and I'm secure that I won't be gaining it back because I completely understand why I eat the food I eat now and why I can't eat the crap I used to suck down. I'm also a lot happier. Look around here for inspiration - I find Ruth and Johnmari's stories great.

No matter what you decide, we will support you - but definitely take the time to really look at the pros and cons of surgery and make serious, permanent changes in your diet.

Hello!
I know this will sound simple and I don't it to be but "if I could do it so can you".  I tried and failed many, many times over the last 30 years but then at almost 51 I got serious and made a commitment to myself that I was more important to me than anything else.  Every time I was tempted to have something like a buttered bagel, a bake of chips, a box of cookies, etc etc I would literally ask myself if I REALLY wanted it or if I REALLY wanted to get healthy and thin.  About 98% of the time I answered healthy.....hey I'm human, I'm not perfect, there were a couple of days that I gave into my urges but then I would not punish myself I'd just get back on track with the next meal or day.

One thing that helped me was I did not cut out any food groups.....I ate protein, carbs, fats, etc.  I just made HEALTHY choices within each food group.  The only thing I totally cut out and did not even bring into my house was butter....I like it too much so i didn't want to tempt myself.  I learned you have to set up your surroundings for success.  A pantry full of chips, cookies, candy etc will only cause daily struggles...why make it so hard on myself so I just didn't bring it in (unless I had company company and even then I didn't always because why feed my family and friends bad food...but if I did bring it in I made sure it all went home with my guests).  
Like I said I made healthy choices within each food group....I use only Olive Oil and Flaxseed Oil (or fish oil) for my fats.  I eat a lot of fruit and veg and try to eat most of them fresh/raw....not canned!  I cook a lot of my veg like green beans but I buy them fresh and don't overcook them so they still have lots of snap, fiber, and nutrition.  I eat all my fruit in it's natural state...not canned.
I eat mostly fish or chicken but when I do eat meat it is almost always fillet mignon trimmed to have no fat.....marinated and it is so soft and yummy.  If I use ground beef it not often and it is a very lean cut.

Exercise...I always hated to exercise but this was the biggest change I made in my life...I workout out 6 days a week.  Cardio 6 mornings and weight lifting 3 nights a week.  No way around it you gotta exercise!

The other key for me was that 1 day a week (always the same day...for me it was Saturday) I had a free day..  I did not go crazy, like I never ate butter on Saturday but I would have a couple slices of pizza for lunch or some milk chocolate.  It helped to have a day to look forward to...

I didn't follow or join a plan....but i have to say I applied all of the good principles I learned at weigh****chers over the many years I joined them.  They count points....I counted Calories...basically the same thing!

Geez I hope I didn't bore you....I get kind of passionate about this stuff and sometimes ramble on...sorry if I went on too much.

If you decide to have surgery I wish you well....keep in mind you still have to make good food choices after surgery.
If you decide to do it on your own I wish you well....please feel free to PM me and ask any questions you might have about how I did it.
Either way I send you kudos for deciding to take control.

Take care of yourself!
Ruth

 "No processed Food"....
Do you guys not eat bread,,,,if you do what type. I have been buying the whole wheat bread. I avoid al the white breads, rice etc. but I can't seem to do the no bread at all thing.

I rarely eat bread because it's a very dense calorie food. When I do, I make my own whole wheat bread. Most if not all whole wheat breads in the usual grocery store are full of refined products, in fact many of them only have a little of whole wheat and mostly refined wheat flour and caramel food coloring to make them brown in color. Check the ingredient list on the bread label - it should say whole wheat or whole grain or whole rye etc. The only other bread I buy is whole wheat pita bread from Trader Joe that has only has ingredients that I would use at home to make bread. I don't miss bread, probably because it's been a long time since I've eaten it. My home made bread tastes so different from commercial bread that commercial bread has absolutely no appeal whatsoever - it has no flavor except too much salt. Weird because I used to stuff myself with that junk. It doesn't even smell like real bread because it's not, it's a fake food made to resemble bread. LOL

It's funny how the things that you think you can't give up are things that you don't even think about anymore once your taste buds have changed. I have no interest in the bread basket when they serve it in a restaurant.

I thought I should add, I follow Dr. McDougall's Maximum Weight loss program that doesn't allow bread or other flour products.....but his regular program does allow all kinds of bread from whole grains. You can still lose weight on his regular program but it's slower and when you're like me and you have 200 pounds to lose, well I soon learned to switch from the regular to the Maximum WEight Loss. When I'm finished losing I'll probably add some more bread back into my diet - but only bread from whole flours and no difficult to pronounce ingredients LOL.

 Thanks to everyone for the great responses!

I was thinking about having a lap band, because the job that I was in kept me on my fanny for 12 to 14 hours a day, six days a week.  I decided I really wasn't happy how I was turning out, and I was more of a mover than a sitter, so I found a job where I was driving for awhile, but moving, physically for 70% of my work.  I noticed that I was starting to lose weight, and I went to my doctor, and he noticed it too, and he wanted me to give an honest try at losing weight again without surgery and he was going to help me.  I was on a modified low carb diet, which wasn't much of a diet.  I used the bento box lunch kits to portion out my 6 meals, instead of flour bread, I used Eziekiel bread, which is made from bean and seed flour - hence more protein, but I was able to make a sandwich for my lunches or snacks.  The main thing was that I was moving, walking in the morning and when I came home from work.  I got my two huge german shepherds and I tried to keep pace with them starting at a few blocks and moving up to walking more aggressively up tp a half hour.  I did a lot of rubber band work for strength training, and if you are looking to find an exercise program to folow, the 6 week body makeover has worked wonders with their exercise for specific body types, etc.  the meal plan after the six week headstart program is a little tough to follow for working people, but their menu to follow after the 6 weeks is sensible, and a more forgiving for the working mom.  But their targeted exercise program is top notch, and you don't have to be Brittany Spears to do the moves.  If you have to be more seditary, there is a program in there that would work for you from a chair and you can still do the abdominal work from the chair and strength training.  Ask your doctor for a dietician who is trained in the medical and holistic diets.  It was from one of these dieticians that introduced me to the Eziekiel bread, and bread products that are made from beans and seeds, a lot of people can't handle soy or glutin, so it is a good idea to step outside of your normal diet world and see what might help you esle where.  My doctor and I gave me 3 months to see any results, and within 3 months I lost 52 pounds, and I really didn't have to make too many changes, just portion control, mobility, and find healthy substitutes for carbs.  It took me to change my job to get the start I needed, it may be something different for you.  I started at 335lbs, and now I am down to 245lbs, my target is 150 to 180lbs.  Good luck!

That; is great!  I have pretty much decided to really commit to myself and do it on my own.  I rejoined WW yesterday and feel very hopeful.

Congrats to you!