Xpost:: Sad, Sore and Afraid of the scale!

Hi - This forum has been real slow lately but I'm hoping some folks will see this and respond.

I have not been on-line in a while for a few reasons but mainly because I had company last week and we stayed very, very busy (it was a great visit).  BUT, also because I have been struggling post op from my last round of plastics and am now after 4 difficult weeks I am dealing with the complication of a large hematoma that developed on my right butt cheek which the surgeon finally CUT OUT last Thursday.  OMG this is so nasty!  Wound care is so difficult (given the location), but we are managing.  
I'm so sore but don't want to take pain killers so I grin and bare it.  I am still suffering with terrible swelling....good lord sometimes the pain from the tightness due to swelling is just dreadful.  I can't sit comfortably, I can't lay down comfortably....UGH!!!!!!

I have not been able to do any exercise since the beginning of December and I am starting to freak out because I don't want to gain any weight.  PLUS with all the holiday stuff I've had more than my share of cookies in the past 3 weeks.  I put most of them in the freezer the other day and think I will have to throw away the rest or I may do real damage.  I am actually to afraid to step on the scale right now just in case I have gained a few pounds.  I know I should just bite the bullet and step on the scale and face the facts but I'm frozen with fear. I'm so afraid if I see I gained 5 lbs or 10 lbs that I will "throw in the towel" and start gaining like I did in the past.  I guess the good news is that I am aware of this and so I trust I will not do that but still I'm treading new waters (on maintenance) and with all the surgery issues, swelling, not being able to exercise, I'm terrified!!!!!  It saddens me that I am even struggling scale issues and giving in to the cookies calling my name. I guess if I look for the positive I can feel good that I did not 4 or 5 cookies each day but was able to hold myself to 2....except for one day when I think I had 4.

So here I am doing something that is VERY difficult for me......Opening Up about my feelings..........maybe I just need a hug.....maybe I just need a slap on the side of my head to wake me up and get me firmly back on track........maybe I just needed to vent.  Somehow typing it out helps.....It feels sort of safe to put the fear out here because I think others can understand and maybe even relate to it. 

Well thanks for listening.....I'm off to do some wound care and toss some cookies....
Have a great day!
Ruth

Awwe Ruthie,I am so sorry to hear that you are having to deal with all of this!  Hematomas are the pits but you should feel so relieved now that you have gotten it cut out.  Robert had his drained twice before it was cut out at two liters a pop each time so I know once the swelling goes down that you will feel such a relief to get rid of the pressure.

Sweetie, you need to cut yourself some slack right now!  You are going through a lot of physical and emotional trauma so trust that you have learned enough about yourself through your journey to know that as soon as you are healed you will get right back into your old routine.  Remember to eat lots of protein for healing and drink plenty of water to get rid of the fluid.  Whatever you do, don't touch sodium!  I know the Plastics Blues can get you down and on an emotional roller coaster, but it's all just part of the package that passes and then becomes a distant memory, you just have to hold on tight and don't fall out.

I pray that you feel better soon,

Mary 

Hi Mary,
Thanks for the warm hug......
I feel much better today mentally and emotionally.......I'm focusing on my protein intake and last night I ordered more ProCare.  I used ProCare before and after my Tummy Tuck and had a FANTASTIC recovery...I'm hoping it will help with the healing going forward.  I should have done a better job with taking protein...I know better than the way I was eating.

I'm always telling others to be sure to get plenty of rest and to load up on protein....I have to listen to my own advice!

Well I can't sit here for too long so I'll say adios for now and will check back later.

Thanks for the note!
TTFN
Ruth