Bah Humbug!

Dang, this place is quiet.  I stopped by to see how everyone is doing because I've had a serious crimp in my Christmas decorating.  My tree holder that spins around came apart and now I'm waiting for DH to get home and put it back together for me so I can go back to putting up the tree.

I have the stereo cranked up and I'm listening to all of these great Christmas songs which was all festive and stuff until I got aggravated with the tree stand and then Johnny Mathis starts singing about coffee and pumpkin pie...I'd KILL for a cup of coffee and a piece of pumpkin pie!!! 

The thing is, back in the day when I was aggravated and emotional, I would have driven to town to get that pie, but after years of handling emotions without eating, I put on a pot of decaf coffee and I'm going to sit here and calm down and enjoy the decorations that ARE up.  And if Johnny Mathis acts up again I'm going to delete him!!!

I hope your decorating is going well and that you are enjoying the season without too much stress...and stress eating, remember not to let those tangled lights do you in!

Merry Christmas, Y'all,

Mary

P.S.  Johnny Mathis is back but now he's singing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire and since I don't care for chestnuts, I'm cool wit dat!   

Yay for not going after the pie!! Good job :o)

I'm dealing with my emotional eating this time around. I say "this time" because I've done the gain and lose dance over, and over, and over... lost 40 gained 60, lost 80 gained 30, lost 100 gained 130 lbs... *sigh*

Anyways, I realize THIS time, that I gain/lose like that because I haven't dealt with the emotions behind the eating.

I've been pausing myself in stressful moments, taking a moment BEFORE grabbing my "chaos crunchies"... and asking myself if I'm hungry, or stressed? And finding another outlet for it... so far, so good...

What can we do to stir up the action on this board?!??! Sheesh...

Hi Celia, I was going to get around to anwering some of your posts but DH came home and told me that the surgery for the rotating tree stand is going to take longer than I thought so we'll do it tomorrow.  I hope it lives!


Wow, emotional eating is a ****** to deal with.  Since everyone seems to be off right now, it might help to go back and read some of our older posts where we discuss the topic in great great great length.  But you are so right when you say that you've been on the diet roller coaster because you haven't dealt with the emotions behind the eating.  Yes dieting is about food and exercise, but the majority of it comes from doing the hard work of finding out why you are engaging in this destructive behavior in the first place.  Until you do that it will be almost impossible to keep the weight OFF. 

For me it was not loving myself enough to do the hard work it would take to lose the weight.  I had it in my head that I wasn't worth the effort.  Once I was able to see myself as a beautiful vibrant woman in my mind's eye and concentrate on who I had the potential to be, then I was willing to do the work for HER.  In the meantime I did a lot of soul searching about my childhood issues and realized that there were a lot of things in my young life that contributed to my bad eating patterns.  Once I forgave those people, moved on, and started concentrating on creating a new me, then I was able to get the weight off no matter how long it took and keep it off for three years so far. 

So I say that when you want to get out your "chaos crunchies", ask yourself, "Why would I want to put this crap in my mouth when it will only make me miserable in about five minutes?"  Do anything you can think of to do something opposite of eating junk.  Close your eyes, imagine yourself at your goal weight, dressed to the nines, and ask yourself, would SHE eat that?  She didn't get into that dress eating no stinkin' "chaos crunchies"!!!

This board is kinda seasonal and it should pick up after the first of the year when everyone comes back from being up to no good!

Mary 

HAHA!!! Thanks so much Mary... you're right... and that's what I'm doing right now... I finally got my husband on board -- somewhat -- with what I'm trying to work for, and that helps. I have a closet full of size 6/8 clothing... and THAT is the girl who is inside of me screaming to be let out! And the emotional baggage is burying her alive. But I will say, I am making strides every day... and I'm realizing that it took me alot bad baby steps to get to this point, so it will take alot of GOOD baby steps to get back!

Ummm...Celia, in this country it's illegal to bury a girl alive so you had better get to running on a treadmill or sumpn' so you can let her out!  But when she does get out, that chick is going to be looking fine in those size 8s.

Taking possession of that emotional baggage and owning it is the first step to healing on the inside...Happy Baby Steps.

Mary

December 3, 2009

Dear Mary:

I like the way you post!  You use really cool language!  I am in OA, and I'm doing my baby steps, too.  I only eat when I am hungry!  I don't eat from boredom, hate, fear, or any other emotion - just hunger!

Denise Phares/Highpow

Hah, being called cool at 52 is pretty cool!  So you are now eating the way you were designed to eat...when your body needs fuel.  Now THAT'S cool!

Mary 

haha yes, I absolutely will be. I know that this is a multi-faceted effort... At the same time, though, I recognize that every last "failed attempt" at weight loss, I went crazy balls-to-the-wall, all-or-nothing, healthy diet and strict exersize routine. Well, most of the time, i got burned out and gave up after a while.

I don't want to go in head-first this time. I want to take the baby steps to get the root of the problem under control -- my emotional attachment to food. I want to get the ball rolling with a steady eating routine, and then introduce the exersize routine. I KNOW that if I try and completely change around every part of my day, introducing a bunch of NEW routines, and NEW habits, I will set myself up for inevitable failure.

For now, I have an infant... and my exersize consists of just taking him for a walk, dancing around to music, playing with him, etc. The problem is I was on bedrest during pregnancy -- which caused alot of weight gain -- but then I had a C-Section... tie together abdominal surgery on muscles that were completely dormant for MONTHS, and the recovery has been long and slow. SO because I'm STILL healing from that surgery, and was completely sedentary for several months, I aim to just get myself MOVING 3x a week right now. ANY movement, is a step-up from where I was 10 months ago.

Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.

Whoa, what a big lifestyle change you have gone through.  You went from a single broad gettin her groove on with the workouts for hours a day to being a responsible woman with children who have done a number on her body.  Talk about a big adjustment in how you will be able to diet and exercise.  Good luck figuring that out but there are several women here who have been successful with that so I know it can be done.  Hang in there kiddo, those baby steps will get you there!

Mary

I can't wait to put up our tree.  I do it like you, with music blasting in the back ground.  One good thing is I don't associate food with Christmas trees! HA  But I'll take that cup of coffee.lol  Your tree spins? lol  How cool is that?  Or did I totally not understand that.  So since you haven't been on here have you been no good??  HA, caught ya in the act! :)  hehe  But of course I'm sure you've been an angel, right? :) 

I haven't been doing as well as I had hoped for on this little diet we started.  I still haven't lost my motivation on it, but I have noticed both of us (my husband and I) are having trouble in different areas.  I'm starting to wonder if just moderation works for me.  I'm starting to think I need more rules to follow.  Just using moderation can be bent and twisted in so many different ways in my head.   I'm a pro at eating, what can I say!ha In my head I can make almost anything legitimate and legal.  If I have to speak my mind about the "item", oh...I can battle anyone with something to make it legal....and WIN!lol  So I think I need set rules, don't think "moderation" works on someone like me.I like food wayyy to much.  This is something I can see myself doing as maintenance.  Sort of like why I'm not losing anything, but I'm not gaining either!  My bodies so messed up.

So while I'm not stopping this yet, I'm looking for a "plan" to follow.  As always I can't make up my mind.  I am sooo indecisive!  Have a few in mind, and the thing that blows my mind is that they are all so different!  I have learned something about me though (which is actually a no brainer, not sure why it hasn't clicked before), is that I am VERY impatient!!  See, you are probably laughing, since it's a no brainer!!  I know I'm impatient, but I never realized how much it impacts my dieting.  When I think about all the times I've lost in the past, I remember how I did it.  All of them I actually didn't know I was losing at the beginning.  I also restricted myself quite a bit to achieve a faster goal (not only medifast).  After I noticed a big difference in my weight, that was just more motivation of course.  But I had to SEE that difference in me, to get achieve that movitation.  Makes me think! :) I honestly am starting to think that I need a diet that will actually make a big impact on my weight loss at first.  I honestly am thinking this might be the only way.  It might not be the best way, but I'm thinking it might be "my way".  Now I just got to figure if this is what I really want, and which diet that makes a fast impact?  Skylars, or like Atkins, no flour or sugar,  or shakes (modified medifast type).  Told ya, all totally different!

On a happy note...I went with my daughter yesterday to her ultrasound and I'm going to be having a grandson!  I'm so excited.  I had a goal to lose weight by the time he's born, so I need to move it!!

I think I'm ready to take some drastic measures.