Blah

lol, the title says it. 

I really have nothing to say, or maybe I have too much to say, ever feel like that? It comes down to I need motivation.....period.  Life just feels so blah to do anything about it.  Not want to sound like a downer, but that pretty much is it.  After so many years don't you feel like just giving up?  Don't you start feeling like it's hopeless?  I know this board is probably the WRONG place to post this because there is numerous successful losers out there.  I just keep thinking am I the only one?  I know I'm not, but sometimes I feel like that.  I haven't been succesful in AGES.  Is all my umph gone?  I feel like I have nothing to work towards too.  I was aiming towards my first grandchild being born, but even that just doesn't seem like it's working.  Remember I said I wonder if I'm giving up a while back..It is STILL there!  What to do!

Yes I'm just venting..sort of.  I don't know how to get that feeling back of motivation or even the DESIRE to do it any more.  I just know in my mind I need to do this, and my body just keeps rejecting me.  I can feel myself slowly drowning in it...so to speak.

LOL, that was depressing.  Keep thinking the older I get the worse it is getting. I've never felt this bad about it before.

Dear HollyRachel:

I am in recovery in Overeaters Anonymous, and boy, do I get the zest from living!  I am so happy with my life it is incredible!  You can feel this way, too, if you start going to OA meetings, and work their 12 Steps from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous as adapted for OA.  Go to a Back to Basics group and get recovery, and then you'll be happy with your life, and losing weight without even trying!

Your friend,
Denise Phares/highpow

Hi Holly - I know exactly how you feel.  Up until I found out I needed to have a hip replacement, and therefore needed to lose at least 75 pounds I had been totally unmotivated for years to do anything about my weight.  And I have lurked on this board for years trying to get with the program.  Being told I cannot have the surgery unless I lose it has motivated me, but the weight is coming off very slowly and I am not willing to do a liquid diet, or a VLCD or weight loss surgery.  I know that eventually I will get there, but it will take awhile.  I just plain refuse to diet.  I have cut back my portion sizes drastically and eat little or no sugar.  I try to eat about 1350-1450 calories a day.  I try not to obsess about food and the scale and let what happens happen.  I don't feel crazed or deprived.  I almost feel "normal"  Good Luck to you Holly. 

Think you said it about not obsessing with food and portion control.  I think it's amazing how food gets the best of us.  When I smoked I remember thinking..."Geez it must be nice to not have to live for cigarettes anymore".  I feel the same way with food.  I got that feeling once in my life, that's when I did do a liquid diet.  I was amazed on how my outlook on food changed.  Unfortunately it didn't change for too long because look where I am now! :)  I like your attitude on how you are doing it, good for you!

I have been getting a little bummed with it all because my family revolves around food.  I keep mentioning things here and there and no one is willing to compromise with me.  If they actually knew what they were doing, they would back off.  They want me to succeed of course, but they don't realize that it's useless, because just within a day they are back to their old bad habits sabotaging me. It's like they think happiness revolves around food....literally.  I know I can't blame them for what I put in my mouth, but it does help if they don't eat so bad, or blame me for their "unhappiness" (which is healthy food)!  My husband is the worse, he is BAD.  Getting worse by the day I think.  Everynight he has at least two snacks, sometimes three.  Sometimes a bowl of icecream, then chips, then back for another bowl of icecream.  That is just an example.  Not sure why I got on my family for, except for the fact that they do of course have some kind of hold on me.  There is six of us, with an additional two always around, so it can be overwhelming sometimes.

I think maybe I'm starting to feel disgusted by it a bit lately.  That has to be a good sign.lol  Not doing well for my marraige though, but hey..got to take the good with the bad right? lol  I'm just tired of thinking about food 24/7!!  I want a break.  TIred of obsessing, overeating, indulging then feeling deprived if I don't, just all of it.  I've been looking at plans once again, not sure what I'm doing yet as I'm very indesicive! lol

Denise- I've thought about going to OA a few times, even called the person here in town at one of the meetings but they never even called me back.  Sort of got mad at that and never tried again.  BUT I will say I'm not too sure if it will work for me.  I know of someone here that has gone through it also so they have told me a lot of it in the past. She actually lost a ton of weight.  But  I have a problem with the "steps" and although I do believe in God, I don't believe it is enough for me to use him as a higher power...if that makes sense.  I literally could not use that step at all.   I've thought about it for a long time, and I don't know how I would be able to do it.

Mary...I'm in the same boat you are!!!  Just went to my orthopedic surgeon last week (finally ready to schedule a much needed total knee replacement) and was told the same thing.  I have to lose 75lb before he will do it!!!  He explained the new knee will not last long carrying around all this extra weight plus the increased risk for complications and the difficulty in getting a proper alignment with the slipperiness of all the fat in my knee.  (He was very candid with me as I am a medical person also...retired nurse).

Well...here's more motivation to once and for all get this weight off.  I hope it's enough!!!  I'm finally convinced that I can spend the next six months trying to decide what WOE to use to do it, but think I have real issues with being "on plan" vs blowing it and then being "off plan" and failing once again.  Don't think I'm even gonna focus on anything except portion control and eating everything in "moderation".  I can't get too crazy about it all cause then I feel deprived and binge and then have to deal with all that guilt....which I do by stuffing my face once again.

Hi Holly - I went to OA for years and it did nothing for me.  Please Denise - that wasn't mean to offend you.  I found it depressing and like you, could not relate to a higher power and all the steps.  Again, I am only speaking for myself.

I too quit smoking 14 years ago and it was very hard, but it was black and white - you don't need to smoke, you don't need to have cigarettes in the house.  Food is different - you can't stop eating entirely although of course what you bring into the house is a choice.  I live alone so I don't have the family eating anything and everything distraction you have.   And it is tough watching them do it when you can't.  I wish I knew the answers.  Some people say weight loss surgery is the answer because the pouch/stomach size drastically limits you, at least for the first year or so.  I always wondered what comes next though - willpower again?  They say that after a year or so you have learned new habits.  Well twice in my life I lost over 100 pounds, once with Weigh****chers and once on my own.  I learned new habits but still gained it all back plus a lot more each time - I think because I didn't have the willpower to keep up my new habits.  One tenet of OA that I do believe is take it one day at a time - and that is what I am trying to do - not think about how many months it will take to lose what I need to lose (the 75 is just to have the hip replacement surgery, but I still need to lose another 75)!  Hopefully one day at a time the days will add up to months, etc. and the weight loss will add up too.

Holly
I know what you mean about being tired. It seems tmanaging food intake all the time is required. It gets old and then I find myself off the wagon, sitting by the side of the road and not caring all that much!

You might try just upping your protein intake and see if that makes a difference in how much you think about food - I found that ,for myself, if I have a protein drink two times a day, then food doesn't matter nearly as much and it is easier to not snack all the time. I just have to make a point of DOING it.

Best wishes and hang in there

Jan D.

I've been kind of blah for about 2 weeks now.  I know exactly what it is with me.
I'm still mad at myself for getting way off track a couple weekends ago.....I gained 5 lbs because of those few days and still have not lost an ounce of it.  I'm pissed off at myself because I'm scheduled for plastic surgery in 2 weeks and it looks like I'll be going into it 5 lbs heavier than I could have.  PLUS I'll get all swollen after plastic surgery so I think I'm already depressed that I'll be BIGGER come new years when I have family coming and this is the first time will have seen me in a year!  I wanted to be at my thinnest/best. 
UGH!!!

I'll just keep plodding along.........

Hope thinks start looking up for you!

Holly....wish I had the answer for both of us!!  You know how much I struggle also with it all.  It's so easy to tell you that you need to just eat healthy for yourself and to heck with what the rest of your family is doing, but we both know how almost impossible that is to do.  We're also told...just don't have the junk food in the house, but with teenagers and a hubby like yours, that's next to impossible too.

I think the most important bit of advice is....don't beat up on yourself about it all.  We have to feel that we're worth making the effort for and we deserve to eat healthy and feel better about ourselves.  I'm gonna try not focusing on any specific "plan" but instead just doing everything in moderation with no scale involved and no guilt. 

I'm with you girl on this one....don't give up the fight!!

Hugs...Sherrie

Gmorning Miss Sherrie! :)

I also have decided quietly by myself without any family even knowing a few days ago that I was going to try to eat whole foods, and if i don't, it will just be a portion size and sparingly.  Like a cheeseburger instead of a whole McDonald meal.   Last night I did go out to eat a chinese buffet...need i say more.lol  But i woke up this morning not beating myself up over it.  once a week i think is alright. i'm feeling pretty good about it.  i have been feeling some hunger pains the last few days and actually liking it.  nice to feel somewhat in control again.   back to "sectretly" trying to eat like a "normal" person should! Not sure if this will work, but it's worth a shot.   So it looks like we are hangin' on the wagon by our teeth, but we're still on! :) hehe