X-Post:: Freaking out and MAD at myself!!!

OK...I'm normally very focused and stay on track.  Not perfect mind you....I'll give in on occasion but quickly regain control of myself.
Well I'm afraid I've done a lot of damage and the scale will not be kind to me this weekend (I weigh myself every Saturday).

On this past Saturday we were out doing a marathon shopping (furniture stores). Matthew decided he wanted to try a McDonald's Double burger (without the cheese)...we have not eaten one in more than 2 years.  I offered a few other ideas but he really had a hankering for it so I finally agreed.  I really did not enjoy it which surprised me.  I was just way to greasy.  We ate NO french fries and I took 1/2 the bun off but still felt guilty.
That was bad enough.....then since we were so late he offered to take me to the new Chinese Buffet that opened up by us.  I was tired and didn't feel like cooking so I said yes.
I had salmon, a little bit of chicken and broccoli, some plain shrimp, about 1/4 cup of veg lo mein, some green beans smothered in garlic (WAY TOO MUCH garlic), and then we up for desert....I had 2 almond cookies and a scoop of ice cream.  I felt stuffed!!!!!!!
It doesn't end here.....
On Sunday, I had a pretty good day but then we had some red wine with dinner and it was a good bottle so I had a second glass and then another 1/2..
On Monday I met Carla and Gail for lunch.....I ate a piece of corn bread and 1/2 a biscuit.  I am SHOCKED at myself and still feeling very guilty.
On Tuesday we were out all day ...we stopped for pizza (not a bad thing), I ate 2 slices (I normally eat 1).  BUT then we ran into a friend who just opened up a pizzeria in St Petersburg....he insisted we try a slice of pizza.....we explained we ate a late lunch and it was pizza and would love a rain check.....Matthew gave in and next thing I know we are eating more pizza.  So I had 2 slices for lunch and 1 slice for dinner.  UGH

So far today is a good day but I am SO AFRAID to see the damage on the scale.  I weighed myself on Monday after my weekend nightmare and I was up 3.5 lbs!! so by now I could be up 5-7 lbs!!!!!!!  OMG!!!! 

I know I have not lost total control but I am shocked and so disappointed I let myself slip this much in a few days!!  For about 5 mins I thought of not eating anything for 2-3 days but then I got a grip on reality and realize that is not the right thing to do.  I guess I should remind myself this is a first in 2 years so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up too much.....I just don't want any weight gain especially not now right before the holidays and my company coming.  UGH!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Well, Ruth, now I have to take off that pedestal I had up up on
Hey, we are all human and I think even skinny folks have off days, but it sounds like your hubby and friends weren't being all that supportive of everything you have accomplished either.  I am confident you are back on the healthy wagon that got you where you are today - you just have to not take those side roads to fatsville. Three days in a row?!!
Do you take healthy snacks when you are out for the day? Or have favorite places to eat that don't throw you off track? I think someone told me you can get a grilled chicken sandwich with NO bun and eat it like an entry. There is no doubt loads of salt compared to homemade but in a difficult situation... it could work, maybe?
You sound like you have given yourself a Mary-style kick in the butt and are ready to carry on.
Best
Jan

Hi Jan,
If I know we will be out for more than 2 hours I always take cut-up apples (or pears, bananas, etc) and maybe granola type bars. 

When I look back over the days I think the worst thing that will have the most impact on me is the wine.  Wine slows my metabolism so much and it takes days for me to rebound.  I have not had a drink in many months and I should have stopped at 1.  Oh well, I can't beat myself up BUT I have to figure out how to stop stressing about getting on the scale in a couple of days.    I'll just have to face the music and move on.

Thanks for the note!
TTFN
Ruth

Please start going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings.  You probably are having trouble with self control because you're a compulsive overeater.

I have perfect self control now, thanks to my OA program.  God helps me keep control, and helps me in other areas of my life.

Denise Phares/highpow

Thanks but I don't think I need OA.  I am not a compulsive overeater.  I've lost almost 165 lbs and am at my goal.  I just had a bad weekend and am afraid of what the scale might show me.
But thanks anyway...

Hi Ruth,

Doesn't it usually go that way?  You do so well and then once you sabatage yourself just ONCE, it all starts falling apart.  I know I'm like that.  I have to be totally strict in whatever my plan is.  Just one tiny bit of stray seems to lead in a chain reaction.  Sucks doesn't it!

I personally say don't weight yourself this week if you think it will get you down.  Not unless you think you can't stop the binging, which it sounds like you can if you put your mind to it. Otherwise it might be a good thing to weigh yourself for a reality check. 

You sound like you are beating yourself up over this.  To me this is where it gets me every time!  I fail, so I keep on with that one glass of wine, or double cheeseburger. 

 Dieting sucks either on program or maitenance! :)

Good luck !

And don't let no one sabatage you!  You have gone so far!!

Hi
I guess I made it sound much worse than I am feeling.
I'm not out of control, I just had a couple of back to back unusual days.  The biggest mistakes I made was drinking the extra wine and eating the cornbread and biscuit.  If I hadn't done that I wouldn't be so disappointed with myself.  OH...and Tuesday was just a really odd day.  Reminds me of the weekend we moved....I think we ate pizza for lunch and dinner and then lunch again the next day! LOL

I'm on track....I've had good days since and feel totally in control.  I never say I'm "on a diet" because to me seems like a temporary state...as in once hitting goal the job is done.  For me the work never will end....so it's a lifestyle change.  

I appreciate your input and encouragement......thanks for the note!!!!

Ruth

Ruthie, take it from the Queen of "What the Hell Happened?"...this too shall pass!!!

You didn't lose 165 pounds by not learning a thing or two about yasself, no?  I'm pretty sure you know that this is just an aggravating, annoying, pain in the ass, moment in time that you will get over and go on with your new "lifestyle".  Besides, the joy of maintenance is that you 'occassionally' get to have time off to enjoy a glass of wine, you've earned it, 'occassionally'!

Vent whenever you need to,

Mary

Thanks for understanding Mary!!

I'm prepared for the bad news on the scale tomorrow morning.  I know I won't like it.  I'm guessing it will be 4-5 lbs up.  UGH
I'm telling myself it's done, it's over, move on.....but it is nice to have a safe place to vent....

TTFN and thanks!
Ruth