Oh My God...

Holly, Sherrie, Stacy, Neecee, Mary, Brenda, Heather, and anyone else I missed; I need your help.

I fell off the wagon.  Not only did I fall off the wagon but I feel off it, rolled down the mountain, off the cliff, and into the water.

I am up 30 pounds from my lowest. 

I haven't stopped crying since I weighed myself.  (Tuesday)

I've got an appointment on Monday to see my bariatric surgeon and talk to her about what I can do but seriously; what the eff am I going to do??

How am I going to explain this to my surgeon? 

How am I going to get this weight off of me? 

I'm so lost, and I don't know what to do.

I called my regular doctor about that medicine that Christa took (Phentermin) - I can't take it because I'm epileptic.

The few of you that have emailed me since I've been gone know that I've avoided this board out of sheer embarassment.  I'm embarassed about myself in more ways than I can name.

Opinions, please!!!

Oh no - don't let this thing win, don't let it get you down. You've had your time to mourn this weight gain, now STOP. Instead put your energies into thinking back at the things you were doing that made you successful at weight loss - and start putting them back into your lifestyle while you knock out the bad stuff.

Stay far away from any refined food, especially fast foods - they will suck you back down a black hole faster than you can imagine - and stick to what you know will lead you back to the success you had before. Get all junk food out of the house and out of your office at work as best you can, don't leave it around to tempt you.

You can do it - and do it now - there is no need to wait, start at your next meal.

Skylar

Thank you.  I've done that - got rid of the junk food, avoiding fast food (except Subway) and eating properly for the last two days but I still feel so lost.

I don't know what to do with myself.

You got up and got back on the wagon!!  You did the hard part already.  Forgive yourself and go on!!!  You can do it.  You have done it before.  U are not lost u took one wrong turn and u know the way back.  We all slip up sometimes so don't be ashame and avoid us.  We understand.


You are awesome!

(((((HUGGS)))))

I just woke up and wrote something like three times already and deleted every single thing I said. I hate this, and I know you hate this.   This is tough, it hurts, it sucks, it ****** you off,  and you just want to forget about it all.  Ignoring it and going back to our one love of happiness (food) is always there to perk us up no matter what.  I hate this, I really do.  I have a feeling we are two of the same.  I've seen your menus, I know where your true desires of eating goes, if that makes sense.  Lol, I need more coffee.

First, you need to give yourself credit for coming  back on here.  For contacting any of us!  I'm glad you are going back to your doc also.  I can't remember, is there a reason why you can't get it tightened?  

I'm glad you got rid of all the junk in the house.  How about your friends, do you hang around a bunch that eat crap?  How about your family?  I know this gets me every time, so be careful!  I know we have to do this for ouself, but it is so easy to give in when  you are around others.  Sometimes I think we have to take ourselves out of the equation for  a while.  I know I do.  Will they make exceptions for you when you are around (on where to eat)?

Have you decided on what to do plan wise?  What about what the nutritionist gave you?  I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, I really do.  I can feel  your shame, your guilt, and your hurt, I know it well.  A little too well, think that is why I really don't know what to say!  It's hard!  But leaving being emmbarassed is NOT the answer.  I wish you would have answered my emails, someones emails.  Not sure if you did or not, but then keep answering emails until you get the help you specifically need and want to hear.  We're addicted girl, ignoring it just makes it get out of hand.  You need friends to lean on, that's what we are here for.

I think you need to take a long deep breath and relax.    Just eat healthy for a few days and relax your mind.  It might come naturally to you on what your next move might be.  Getting back on that scale takes a lot out of you! lol  I know!  You don't need to know what to do exactly the minute you get off that scale.  It's OK to take a few days to work through why you gained, and figure out how to not let it happen again.  No one said you have to know what to do immediately, so relax.    

We all luvs ya here and want to see you succeed.  Give yourself credit, you are an amazing women.  You are one on here that I know I would love to meet.   Keep your chin up and quit looking back!  

 

 I'm so sorry you have had this happen.   It sounds like the honeymoon is over. I had heard this happens about three years after bariatric surgery, but then sometimes things happen not on schedule.
The appointment with the surgeon should help. Maybe they can do an other fill (Lap band, right?) or convert to RNY. 
Hang in there. There are others here that will give lots of help and support and you can't let embarrassment stop you now that you are wake to the issue again. You have don't it before and you can do it again. 


Jan D.

Thanks Jan - I just can't believe how *far* I backslided.  I'm so embarassed. 

And the amount of work it'll take to get rid of those 30 pounds I already lost once - omg...

Thanks for your support!

Hi Chicky,

The biggest problem I have is with my family.  They eat very decedently and they give me a hard time for not eating with them.  So I give in to avoid a fight.  I need to stop doing that.

I can get the band tightened; I just don't know if it'll do any good for me. 

I wish I could stop looking back but I just can't turn my head.  I am so riddled with guilt.

*Sigh*

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

Do it girl, get it tightened.  You won't know if you don't try, after all that is what it is there for!  You got it for a reason, use it to its advantage!  Hell I would!  

I have a hard time with my family too.  Mines a little different though.  Start the fight if you have too, don't let them make you feel bad for wanting to be healthier than them.  You have got to do this for YOU, don't let them drag you down. 

I just emailed something about this to Sherrie.  Family life is tough.  I remember even  having this problem working in the office.  I had to get tough with them.  I kept refusing and refusing.  Finally the only guy in the office stood up for me and told them all to leave me alone.  But I know the peer (or family) pressure is hard.  Especially when they use it to socialize.  But I new I couldn't handle it at the time, so I refused.

Maybe (this is what I'm hoping for too) once you start loosing they will realize how good you are doing and leave you alone. Or better, maybe they will start eating healthier too.

Good luck!

Janina....so glad to see you back, hon!!!     I've missed you.  I haven't been on here much myself but always lurking, if not posting.  I give you LOTS of credit for coming back and being honest for where you are right now.  We've all done it and it ain't easy.  One thing I know...the guilt and shame and embarssment is worthless...let it go.  What's done is done and you are now actively seeking a plan....good for you!

I am having a rough time myself....those 10lb I kept gaining and losing have somehow turned to almost 20 and I haven't found the solution yet myself.  I definitely know I am addicted to flour and sugar....been trying very hard to eliminate those but finding it tough.  I think it's a good idea returning to your surgeon....don't dread that; he's heard it all before.  You are now thinking positively and that's the first step.

This doesn't make you any LESS of a person.  I think that's one of the things we can get so hung up on...feeling no self worth when we fall off the wagon.  You're still the same loveable, bubbly, free spirited gal you always were.  Just try some baby steps for now and don't try to go "100%" into anything.  Be kind to yourself and forgiving and give yourself credit for coming to this point. 

Hugs to you, Janina.....hang in there!!

Sherrie