Who do you blame?

Twilight - nice to meet you.  I agree!  Our 'she's' must've gone to the same school because I have the same mantra.  "Don't tell me what to do.  I'll do everything I can to help you - voluntarily.  But don't tell me to do it."

I see that behavior in several family members.  I don't know if we can inherit brain synapses that react in certain ways to specific emotions, but it makes me wonder...

This internal war drives me crazy! 

     Dear TxBelle:

Nice to meet you too. Regarding that, saying: " Don't ever tell me what to do, You ask me, and If I can do it, I will do the best I can."  I think that came, from everyone in my family, and some others, always telling we what to do , and how to do it.  I think, that is one of the reasons, why I do not pay myself no mind (just a thought). I have been told that, I have a wee bit of the Irish stubbornness, also.(fighters they are.) I think some of the behavior mite, be inherited, but I think it is more environment.

To all the battles waged in our heads, may we all be victorious and win the war.


Twilight  

Hi TX Belle! No you are not alone. If you can read my profile intro you will read that my parents and the 60's parenting style did its damage to all of us - 4/5 kids had/have an eating disorder! The one who doesn't is a retarded adult - and my mother has overstuffed her!

So in my case, talking with my sibs and all of us coming out of our ED closets, ranging from bulimia to anorexia, at least validated me. The sick-o inner talk began to take a different turn toward healing.

You bring up brain synapses and i have done lots of reading on that.  YES we are addicted to negative patterns quite literally - and you named it - they become very real physical responses in our brains.

the good news is that we can reverse this. There comes a point where you must reject this - sounds like you are at least in the prelinimary stages of doing just that.  At least isolate it and know that it is not the way you want to live. These words so simple to type, but it took me most of my adult life to clamber past all the stuff my parents did. I can easily say that they had the first 18 years of my life - *EYE*...(as in ME) allowed them to own an additional 20. Now it is all ME.  i own it.

OA helped by taking self-inventory - this a process that never stops.  it is perpetual b/c we change, life changes and we must adapt always seeking our higher self - not always taking the "poor me" path. I have learned the difference b/t nurturing my inner child but not keeping her sick!

best of luck and look for tools, even if it means counseling of some sort to begin to own this condition. It is the only way to get past it!