What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud? Should This Post Be Canceled?
Mary,
I was actually thinking about emailing you an email, but I guess I will just post it here! :) First of all, I honestly didn't mean to be rude. It just struck me in the wrong way, and it got me going. Just like everyone on this board, we post what we feel, other wise it wouldn't be the board that it is! I personally have always like you, and all others. I don't dislike anyone on this board, but I do think that the “zest” as someone put it, has changed dramatically. You probably don't realize it, but a lot of people stopped posting when more maintenance people came over. And for what someone else mentioned..for me anyways, I am a regular on this board, just haven't as much because I've been in a lot of pain the last few months and couldn't even hardly read. But I will admit another reason is that it just doesn't seem to help me like it use too. I use to be a vivid poster on this board, DAILY.
Maybe I was harsh when I called it stuck up, I probably didn't pick the best of words. But those words, to me at that moment, meant basically what the other post was about. The title Big Fat Slobs, just doesn't cut it here, even if you were not the one who said it. I know this post is fairly new, but have you noticed who were the ones who agreed on it? It is all the ones who are already on maintenance. Plus well, I figure this is a board of “help”, I might as well say it like I see it, so everyone..not only me (just like you do) get the help that they need and deserve. I got several emails after I said what I did and they agreed. But it's not about who is wrong or right, because we are all in here to conquer the same problem, and I think you would agree.
I don't think that any of you posting here is a bad thing. I personally have loved this post that you have posted. I believe everyone has something to say. One thing that irks me occasionally is that some think they are always right. They forget that everyone is not the same. When you lose the weight it does change your attitude, for the better! But we are not all there yet, and sometimes words sound harsh or almost like I said before...”snobbish”. Not because I'm a failure or anyones a failure, everyone has qualities they are good at, even dieting! :) Some of us are more touchy though and don't want it rubbed in persistently that some have made it and some haven't. It doesn't make you or anyone else any better or know more knowledge of “dieting”. Whether you have done and succeeded it or not.
You have personally been a big help to many on this board. One thing I think how this board has lost it's zest is there is so many people on here now that are in maintenance, that it's not only for people that are in despair. There was that personal touch of sensitive feelings for one another when we are all fat...know what I mean? Maybe that is why a lot of boards actually have a Maintenance board. They are at a different level of their weight loss. I don't know..that is really hard to explain!lol But it doesn't mean that we can't combine it, because after all we all need to maintain the rest of our lives. I'm not sure how we all should work it to make it better. For one I'm just waking up and getting ready to go camping so I wanted to make this a fast post. Been up for a total of ten minutes. lol But to your question, I have liked this post. I just hope we can combine losing and maintenance in here a little better for a lot of people that use to be here and don't anymore. I for one have missed posting.
Well time to start getting ready for camping! Time to enjoy my one favorite month here, it's got to make up for the last miserable ten months!
on 6/5/09 5:15 am, edited 6/5/09 5:17 am - Edmonds, WA
My proud is that after a week of prep for the colonoscopy I got a little lax with my program and had a time of it getting back into the swing of truly Atkins and today I DID IT!
I got up in time to make my MIM and remembered to take the frittata I'd made for lunch and I even managed to ride the bus instead of driving and paying 15$ for parking. I will pin a rose on my own nose.
As to the big deal about the posts in the last few days - sometimes the Atkins board gets this way too. I just ignore it as everyone has a right to their opinions and I, personally, would miss Mis Mary if she left us. Same for you Babs :) I get lots from positive posts and believe that we can benefit from those have been successful on the path we tread. We can all find success in our own way and still be tolerant, can't we?
And NO you should NOT cancel this post. Please don't.
Jan
Jan D.
on 6/5/09 6:25 am - Edmonds, WA
I don't do mani's or pedi's so I'll have to come up with something else as a reward.
Jan
To Jan:
"My proud is that after a week of prep for the colonoscopy I got a little lax..."
That struck me funny for what should be an obvious reason.
I'm proud of our own Mary for explaining what she meant, and explaining it well. One thing you can ALL count on from Mary 100% of the time, is support for every little effort you make. That should be worth something.
I don't have a big proud yet, but the day's only half done!
Jan - I'm your neighbor! I live in Bothell.
Ruth
on 6/5/09 7:31 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
I don't think Mary intentionally tried to be offensive. Perhaps the title referencing fat slobs was a bit too much but I think the main gist of her posting was misunderstood. That's what happens when we rely of the "typed" word...something can get lost in the translation.
Personally I feel great empathy for people (male and female) when I see them riding around the carts in Walmart. I admit, I often question in my head, do you they really "need" the cart? Mary's point was someone like her relative who cannot walk would not be able to use a cart because someone else who may not "NEED" the cart is driving it around. I can understand how Mary may have thought these 2 women did not need the cart because apparently they walked across the parking with no signs of trouble. But we don't really know....maybe every step they took in the parking lot was terribly painful for them. I know my 82 year dad is in pain with every step. While he has a handicap sticker he usually doesn't take the parking spot because he thinks someone else in worse shape might need it more than him so he hobbles across the parking lot. Of course if it's raining or snowing he does use the closer spot. Anyhow, I digress...
I must say I have found it offensive when you just said "You probably don't realize it, but a lot of people stopped posting when more maintenance people came over." When maintenance people came over??? What does that mean? What do they have the plague?? I didn't know there was a battle between those who are actively losing weight and those who have reached goal. What next, are you going to suggest that anyone who had WLS cannot post on this forum too?? Do we need a forum exclusively for people on maintenance....that seems crazy to me. Maybe you didn't mean anything by it but again the type written word can easily be misunderstood.
Can't we just all play in the same sandbox?? I try to offer support and advice to everyone who asks for it. I don't care what program they are following or if they had WLS or not. If they are trying to loss weight and need support I'm here. I can share my own ups and downs and the mistakes I made along the way. Hopefully I can help just one person and then I'll feel satisfied.
I can tell you as someone who has successfully lost 100+ lbs THREE TIMES in my life that maintaining the weight loss is a daily struggle just as difficult as losing it. EVERYONE who has a food addiction needs support, and in my opinion especially after reaching goal. Too many people (including me in the past but not this time!) think once they hit goal that all bets are off...now I'm normal so I can eat/drink whatever I want....WRONG!
So instead of separating the forum and labeling people into those who are actively working on losing weight and those who are actively working on maintaining their weight loss, how about everyone just being supportive!
Let's just all enjoy everyones successes and support each other as needed and put this whole discussion to rest......Let's focus on something positive.
Have a great day.
Ruth
Thank you Ruth for putting what I was thinking into words for me. Yanno, what the people who don't post here have to say doesn't bother me one little bit, but when it comes from someone I care about, it really does hurt. It makes me feel like when they welcomed me here, they only meant it if you didn't upset the status quo. All boards have migrations of people and every board on this site has those who are about to get surgery, those losing weight and those who have been successful, or not. As for where the old timers went, a lot of them have had surgery, two that I know of that are going to that no one else knows about. DonnaMarie who was here before anyone works two jobs now, so even though I talk to her almost everyday, she just doesn't have time for the board. Next to her, I think Denise (Kitties)has been here the longest and she's never said anything about being upset about the newbies. As for the new people here who have been successful at weight loss, I would have killed to be able to pick their brains and glean from their knowledge during the six YEARS it took me to lose my weight. I'm still learning from them on a daily basis cuz this journey never ends, I just hope we can make it all through together!
Mary
I'm sorry, maybe I should read more in depth, but how exactly was that other thread part of a WHYDTTMYFP?
To me, it just seemed like a hateful, fat people bashing post. It was a total, total turn off for me, for someone who is trying to decide if I really want surgery or not, to come over here for the first time, and see such a ridiculous post.
I can't believe you, or anyone else is trying to validate it for anything other than what it was, mean. I don't think you had good intentions at all, I think you were just being judgemental and rude.
How exactly were these two women hurting you? How were they effecting you? I don't think that any normal person with an oz of common sense would equate= these two women are fat and on scooters eating food, not dressed "appropriately" by my standards= I guess this is how all fat people are.
Everyone is right, you have a right to your opinion, I certainly have a right to mine as well. The first impression is the most lasting, it just kind of sucks that this is the first impression I got of you, when apparently you are a pretty nice person if I am to believe what others have posted in reply to you.
It's about the Wow's!
I'm not even sure why I'm answering this post because you came over here with guns blazing
shootin' at me like I was Al Quaida or somebody, when you don't even know me from Eve. But I think it's the part where you said you didn't read my post "in depth" that made me want to clarify one thing. The name of the post is, What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud?" Anything after that is a subtitle. I post it on Tuesday and Friday. I'm just trying to clarify that I was not saying that I was proud about judging big fat slobs. That would be the man who was standing next to me on the phone. I judge obese people by the large amount of struggle and work it is going to take for them to be healthy and happy cuz I know exactly how hard that is.
And trust me on this, you can believe all of the things my peeps are saying about me, I'ze a li'l angel!
* tip toeing out now*
Mary
on 6/5/09 7:26 am - Edmonds, WA
Mary - do you have on ballet toe shoes for all this tippy toeing? 
I will only say that I thought you comments that started all this hullabaloo were largely about the inappropriate behavior of those 2 women - if they had been thin folk it would have still been gross. The guy next to you might not have said anything if they were stick people, but I would certainly have thought it! I think some of the problem is certain people have baggage and just took it the wrong way - I don' know. I've been here long enough to know how much of a "li'l angel" you are, but maybe not everyone gets you?
Jan
Jan D.
