What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud? Should This Post Be Canceled?

On the last Proud post, there was expression by certain members that the new people here who have been successful at weight loss has changed this board too much.  I certainly didn't mean to set out to do that, I just wanted to try to make people see that they should be proud of the small victories they have everyday.

I spent too many years hating myself for being fat and it took me a long time to learn to love myself enough to lose weight and to be proud of that accomplishment.  I don't feel that makes me stuck up or better than anyone else here, but if it offends just one person, then I think it's better to cancel this post. 

Mary 

Mary I don't think it is the "make you feel proud" posts themselves that upset people, but the perception that you were bashing the two obese people you saw at Walmart in the last post.

I probably shouldn't weigh in on this since I rarely post on this forum anymore and am no longer a non-surgical weight loss person, but I did read it as others did.  It's a sad fact that we are a judgmental society.  People are constantly judging others and it's not restricted to overweight vs. "normal" of which I'm still in the first category.  What I think caught people on the raw was the fact you were once at a large size like these other women, but made the comments you did.  It's hoped that those of us who are or have been there would understand, empathize, and make allowances/give the benefit of the doubt to those that aren't ready to get their life in order.  We don't know what brought those women to the point in which you saw them, however, to assume they are lazy is indeed doing a huge disservice to the vary group in which you used to belong.

Now back to the intent of your daily posts...it's a good one.  It gives hope and encouragement to those that may be tempted or on the edge of making a bad choice due to cir****tances.

Thanks Melinda for the feedback, I appreciate it more than you know.  As for how I perceived those two women, it is PRECISELY because I used to BE THEM that I was ashamed for them.  I know what it's like to wake up and see their bodies in the mirror and be absolutely disgusted.  The difference between those two women and me was that I stopped and thought about how I would be judged if I showed the big fat pouches of my thighs up to my kootchie to the rest of the world.  I'm sorry but I don't want to see that on a skinny person either!  Is there no moral decency in the world anymore?  I certainly don't consider myself a prude but I'm sorry, I do deem that to be disgusting.

Now you judge how I came to the conclusion that they were lazy.  I always park out far in the parking lot to get in the extra steps, something I certainly didn't do when I was fat.  They were a mess, their car inside was a mess and "They Could Walk Just Fine!!!".  That seems to be the point folks missed yesterday.  These women were young so I didn't get the impression that they needed the scooters because their legs wouldn't hold them.  Taking scooters from handicapped people when you can walk perfectly is selfish, in my opinion.

I NEVER called them Big Fat Slobs.  That was the judgement of the man next to me and they didn't hear what he said, he was on the phone.  This was not at a restaurant, it was food put in a bag, with a price sticker on it,  for you to take to the register and eat at home.  That's why there were no napkins...they weren't supposed to be eating it there, which is why the people I was standing next to were so grossed out.  It wasn't just me. 

My whole point of that post was that whether we like or not, fat people are judged more harshly.  That's the sad fact of our society.  I personally think it's better not to draw negative attention to ourselves. 

Trust me, I remember everyday from whence I came and I pray for all of the obese people I see, which in the south will keep a girl prayed up.  I do it because I'll do anything to help someone who is in distress about their weight.  I don't judge a woman in a size 32 dress.  I'll hold the right to judge any woman in any dress with her girlee parts hanging out!

Mary     

Mary I wasn't judging how you came to the conclusion that they were lazy, merely stating what I thought may have caught people on the raw.  Nor did I mention in my post that you called them fat slobs.  I'm guessing you were referring more towards the responses you had initially received.

I wasn't at Walmart to see these two people. I just know sometimes how a situation appears isn't what is truly accurate, though other times "a picture is definitely worth a 1,000 words." 

The great thing is people can read, have opinions, and then choose to respond or go right by a post.  No matter how gently a post is phrased, someone may still find offense.  You know the old saying, "darned if you do and darned if you don't?" 

People judge...it's life.  From our experiences and what we've gone through, colors how we judge others.

Now you never stated what your proud was for the day? 

Oh Melinda, you are so right about how our experiences color how we judge others.  My sister has cerebral palsy and I was raised with the other handicapped people she has been in the hospital with.  To see someone with no problem walking take their scooters just really makes my blood boil.  Maybe I wouldn't be so sensitive if I had never waited for one with her. 

My proud for the day?  I'm on the down low so I'm keeping it to masself!  

Mary 

I think this thread should be here and should be used to share what we have done to be proud of.

I have never gotten the feeling that anyone was "stuck up".  Everyone has their opinion and is free to express it.  We don't have to always agree with everything everyone says but we don't need to criticize anyone for expressing their thoughts either.

Anyhow, I like having a place to TOOT MY OWN HORN with my little victories.   So I say, keep posting it.

Today I am proud that I am OFF high blood pressure meds officially!!   I've lost enough weight and improved my health that I no longer need to take them.  I'm thrilled about this victory!!  

Hope every one has a good day!

Oh Ruth, that is a doozie of a Proud!  Girl you are going to feel so much better once you have been off of that medicine. 

I'm so happy for you, you are one helluva an inspiration woman!

Mary 

Alrighty,  here I go.  I read through that mess last night and here are my observations:

First of all, those who were most adamant about the characterization used to describe the SMO women at Walmart are not regular posters to this board, at least not recently. 

I guess I'm one of those new members here who has been successful at weight loss and for whom are now being accused of "changing the board too much."  Frankly, there wasn't much going on here when I got here so I'm not sure what huge impact I had, if any.   If you think the board needs to be changed back, then start posting discussion topics instead of whinning.

Next point, and these are in no particular order, there's a whole lot of enabling going on here.  I'm not sure that's the best path toward success in a WL journey.  There's no enabling at work on the "Biggest Loser" which many here say they follow. 

Next point,  I've always been more motivated by success stories of people who once had my problem rather than by people who have failed to overcome the problem of weight.   I try to offer support and advice, if people don't want it, they can ignore it. 

Finally,  I sensed a lot of anger directed at Mary for having a point of view.   Those who found the characterization offensive let her know.  That's fine. Now post something constructive that will help all of us, after all, this is a support board.  

I LOVES YA BABS!   I wish I could have said what you said, but I'm already in deep doo doo so I just made my case and shut up.  

As for the people who thought what I said was hateful, I really would like to hear something constructive from them that would actually help someone. 

Mary 

Hi Donna,
AMEN! 
You said it very well.

Thanks!

Personally I like seeing when Mary posts this thread.