What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud?

Mary F., I don't understand in the least how you could possibly think this post was hateful.  It's simply a true story about two women who were being the quintessential stereotype of how normal people PERCEIVE all fat people to look and act.  The term 'big fat slobs' came from a man who was making a simple observation.

My offense to their behavior was that they were perpetuating the stereotype which makes it harder for the rest of the overweight folks of this world.  It is very socially common for the socalled "normal" people of this world to lump us all into the same category with no differentiating.  Unfortunately, when people see behavior such as this, the next time they hear a comedian making fun of fat people, in their minds they can identify because they've seen the 'type' before, and that's what becomes ingrained in their minds.  It makes it difficult to argue the point that all fat people are not like this when they've seen it with their own eyes.  Just sayin'.

Mary

Amen to that. I wandered my fat self over to this forum for the first time tonight and read this garbage. I don't dress like that, but I bet there are a**holes at the beach who think things like that because I dare to go the beach in gasp a bathing suit. Why is it okay for skinny people to dress skanky, but not fluffy people? If you don't like it......don't look!!!!

Just stay out of Walmart. I feel sorry for these women that the don't see other choices for themselves, pretty sad.

I hate Walmart and I never shop there, thank goodness for Target.

Skylar

Just stay out of Walmart.   That's easier said than done!  I live in a little one horse town and Walmart is the best place in town for grocery shopping only because we only have two other small grocery stores with not much in them.  This is how sophisticated WallyWorld is around here...people come from fifty miles to shop there.  Yep, ever since we got our Super Walmart, we'ze the big city! 

Mary 

Where has the feelings gone that we have for each other?  I'm sorry, but I am a really big "people person" and I did not see one bit of humor or disgust in this.  Only disgust that I see is disgust that it was brought up and that it was actually acknowledged by some that it was disgusting.  What has happened to this board?  These are real people here, no matter what they are wearing.  I liked Necees post on everyone is beautiful.  These women might have been the sweetest people you have ever met.  This right here is what makes it so hard for some of us heavier people to get jobs, dates, etc.  People JUDGE way to much!  

This board use to be for people that are at this point.  A board that I actually miss.  People that NEED the help and want to try to figure it out, whether they can figure it or not, it's a support system.  Not for only skinny people who see the world in a different view now.   Once you lose your weight and get more self esteem your behavior tends to change, on some of us any way.  I can just say I hope mine never gets to that point of forgetting who I really am. 

I am a very firm believer that everyone has a reason to be here.  A person has a reason to be fat, wear tight clothes, get their body tattooed all over their bodies, pierce every little inch on them, whatever!.  It's what makes us individuals, and God is the only one that can judge.

Sorry..just trying to make this board real again.

HollyRachel -I agree with your post 100%.

Well Holly, if we are going to keep this board real we have to keep it in the real world where we acknowledge that the "normal" people of this world are judgemental of fat people and no matter how nice we treat each other it's never going to change that fact.  And I'm sorry if it upsets you that I thought that what those women were wearing and showing to the rest of the world was disgusting but it just upset me that it was contributing to the REASON that other people judge obesity so harshly.  There is no shame in being fat, but there is shame in being a big fat slob.  It purpetuates the stereotype.

Correct me if I'm wrong but are you saying that you don't care for having successful people on this board.  I must have been wrong when I came here because I thought it was for people who needed support whether in weight loss or weight loss maintenance.  I thought it was for people who needed support for eating issues who had decided not to have surgery.  I thought I was here to support people who might be able to learn a thing or two from all of the hard work I put into my weight loss.  Maybe there's something wrong in my style of support because although I will tell people not to worry about ocassionally falling off of the wagon, I refuse to let them sit there and wallow in their sorrows if they're not willing to do something proactive to change their cir****tances.

Mary   

    

 

 

Mary, I just had to make a comment because this has been like my second home for quite a while and it kills me that this board has gotten so stuck up, so snobbi****'s unreal. Haven't you guys realized how quiet it is in here??  It's sad, and I will probably never post here again.

There is a difference in when “others” judge us, and when we judge “us” on this board. I was just saying that in HERE I don't think it's necessary, because after all we are ALL in the same boat! This board is where we go to not have to worry about how others judge us. We know the “real world” already, why knock us down even more? If we don't want to wear makeup so be it, if we have the self esteem of a Big Beautiful Woman to wear a skinny tight ass skirt and flaunt our big boobs...so be it. I say more power to em! I would LOVE to have the self esteem of a big beautiful woman out there that isn't afraid to show the world that she is proud of who she is.

If we have no self esteem that makes us go around in a cart that makes us looks ridiculous to others, then so be it. We all got our issues, we all got our problems, skinny or not. There is stereotypes every where you look. But it doesn't mean we have to bash people in the process, it just adds more bad feedback as to why people stereotype. Just because of how they look or ate doesn't give us reasons to stereotype them even more.

I for one think every person on here is successful. Just because one loses weight doesn't make them successful.

There are many of us whom has lost weight. Just because some hasn't gained it back doesn't make them any better or know it all. We all have learned a lot over the years and we all have ways to support each other. No one in my eyes is better than anyone else.

I'm not trying to criticize you at all for you caring about people here and wanting to support them. I just didn't think this was the right place to be knocking people in that kind of way. It actually made me mad and sad at the same time, that some of you would feel like this. This has always been a home away from home for all that is over weight without stereotyping us in a bad way. Just because it's in our world doesn't mean we have to add to it.

I know weight loss is a continuing battle that we will have all of our lives! This support for each other is the greatest thing, and this board has been the best one I've ever seen. But you got to remember that everyone is different. If you refuse to let them sit and wallow in their sorrows, it might work , or it might not! So many of us have different stories, and more important...different problems! We all know this. What if they want to sit and wallow in their sorrows? To me that just means they need more help. What if they want to sit in that cart and eat a corn dog and ask for a napkin? What would I do? Give them that napkin and give them a smile. They might never get one!

If anyone ever acted like that to me like the guy next to you did, I would probably tell them to suck my rolls! Sorry, people need to know when to stop treating people badly or it never will end. 

It's been a great board, but some how this board has gotten side tract to too much "teachings" and not enough support.

I agree with you, Holly.

I feel very sad for the people who won't wear a swimsuit, tank tops, etc. in publi****il they are a certain weight or look a certain way.  I love swimming at the beach, and I'm not going to let my fat or fear of wearing a swimsuit in public get in the way of me getting out there and engaging in the activities I enjoy.  Life is short and I'm going to enjoy mine.  And you know, no one ever made a rude comment to my face when I was out and about in my tank top or swimsuit.  Ironically, the times when strangers made rude comments to me occurred when I was fully dressed - and once when I was wearing a winter coat, no less.  Heh.  Maybe I should never the leave the house at all because no matter what I wear or where I go and what I do, there will always be some insensitve, small-minded individual who will be vocal about their opinions.  So, I might as well get out, do what I want to do, and dress comfortably for the occasion (90 degree days might call for shorts and a tank top, no?).  Otherwise, when I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to have a lot of regrets about how I let life pass me by.  

I don't think fat people need to change themselves in an effort to improve how the thin world sees them.  Isn't that a kind of "blame the victim" mentality?  I think people in the thin world who are prone to stereotyping need to become more sensitive and accepting.  Otherwise, maybe black people should become whiter so that racists will have an easier time accepting them. 

Guess I have to put my $.02 in here cause the title of this post immediately struck a nerve with me.  BIG FAT SLOB.....my mother would often refer to overweight people as I was growing up and even when I was an adult with those words.  Now mind you, since about age two, I have been one of those overweight people and morbidly obese for probably the last 30-35 years or so.  As a child and teenager I never replied to that comment about other people, but since I was also overweight, it hurt....if she thought they were BIG FAT SLOBS, then she must have certainly thought of me as one also.  Mind you...this was from a mother who ALWAYS said to me, "If you would only lose weight.....".  I think I've reiterated this before that in my perception of this statement she inferred that she would be prouder of me or love me more if ONLY that were to happen.

It's too bad there is so much judgement in this world by one's physical appearance.  Granted, I have always dressed conservatively as an obese adult and tried to pick clothes that actually hid the rolls rather than flaunting them.  God, for years I wouldn't have been caught dead in a bathing suit or shorts in public.  But who knows, maybe these two ladies don't have a self esteem problem.  Maybe they don't give a flying f*** what people think of them.  Is that right or wrong?  Don't think it's for me to judge.

I, like Holly, have noticed the change on this board....the inactivity, a loss of a lot of the "regulars".  Not sure what it's due to (and glad to see the newcomers to the board) but it's not the same.  Does anyone else feel that way?  I'm not sure what's happened to cause this....and maybe the board just goes in these cycles (I haven't been a long standing member).  It's certainly supportive when the help is asked for (like Heather's recent post), but I get the feel that there's a lot more "preaching" than there used to be.....just my opinion, but I think it's sad.  Then again, it might just be my perspective from where I'm at in this journey at the moment.