scary wake up call...

As you may or may not know, I've been having a lot of problems lately, the least of my worries, honestly, has been that I haven't stuck to my eating plan.

I've been having female problems for several years now, and recently my doctor told my I probably have PCOS (but that diagnosis came without any tests or exam, just listening to my history). I had a complete pelvic ultrasound, and had an appointment yesterday to find out the results. She didn't see any cysts that would make her think PCOS, but she did see some funny little 1cm or less growths (can't remember what she called them). Since my female parts have been acting funny, and I'm not responding 'normally' to the treatment she's tried, she wants to rule out cancer.

Cancer.

That word is terrifying to me. She wouldn't say one way or another if she thinks I have cancer until after I have an endimetrial biopsy, she tried to do the proceedure yesterday (which by the way, hurts like HELL!!) but apparently my cervix wasn't letting anything in (wouldnt' let my daughter out 6 years ago, had a c-section). So now I have to schedual a DNC so they can get in to get a tissue sample to test. That will hopefully happen the 6th. I told her it needed to happen before my daughter was out of school for the summer, but really, I just need to know asap.

I can't have cancer, I'm only 29! I have alot of other health problems that scare me, that I could die from, and my sleep doctor just told me that I could have heart problems. That scared me. But it's still abstract, not real. I don't know anyone thats died of heart problems. People die of cancer. I KNOW people who have died from cancer.  It scares me something awful.

I don't want to die. I'm back on my plan as of this morning, and I think I'll be able to stick to it...It won't help if I have cervical cancer, but if I don't, I've realized that I really could die from my other weight related problems too. I'm hoping that will let me stay on track. I intend on fighting. Whether it's cancer, or not. Whether I have heart problems or not. I'm not going to just lay down in a pile of chocolate and pizza and die. I want to live!

Oh my goodness Heather! Cancer is about the scariest word ever! I have high blood pressure and that does not scare me like the word cancer. That's why I go through the colonoscopy every 5 years - better to find it and fix it than not.
I hope you get negative results on the 6th and life gets back to normal real soon.
Hang in there, sweetie.

Jan

     Dear Heather:

     I'm really not sure what I want to say, but I feel I need to say something. Girl, you need to take, care of your baby's momma,(YOU) so you can take care of her. One thing I learned when I use to go to W.W. was, if you do not take care of yourself, no one else will.
     I have been reading your posts, and I get the feeling you are, were I use to be. I still have a ways to go yet, an I should listen to my own advice, but you need to get real here. You and I need ,to get real serious, and stop playing, at how to get healthy. I too have had cancer scares(twice) I have had (2) biopsies (thank goodness it wasn't) With our kind of weight, we can get uterine cancer easier too. I have lost both my parents to heart disease (runs in both sides of the family.) Diabetes runs on my mom's side. You need to look at your family medical history, that is what is going to be most prevalent to you.
     Heather learn to love yourself, you are a wonderful person, you have a wonderful child, you are strong, and capable,(just look at what you have done, you live on your own, you take care of your daughter, and it sounds like you don't get much help etc. etc.) I think you are stronger, then you think you are. You are woman, hear her roar.
     Heather I pray for a good outcome and an answer to the mystery of your health. No matter what it may be, You will overcome and be victorious.
     A passing thought : No one can, make you feel anything,unless you believe it first yourself. 
     All my best: Twilight 

Heather,

     Try not to dwell on the negative of the situation(easier said then done). I am an ultrasound tech and the first thing I thought of was endometrial polyps or fibroids. Fibroids are benign and majority of women have them and do not even know it unless they have severe symptoms. If they wanted to do a endometrial biopsy (I agree it does hurt!!!)then it may be polyps. These are not like polyps in your colon, which definitely need to come out. Endometrial polyps can cause bleeding,irregular cycles,and/or cramping.Most people are more familiar with colon polyps which are dangerous.These are different. The D&C will take care of that as long as they can get in there. Sounds like you have a non-cooperative cervix. I think its always better to be cautious and it sounds like your doctor is being very thorough. I know it is stressful but you will get through this.I'm proud of you for fighting and not giving in to the chocolate /pizza. (that is tempting when stressed :D )

Hang in there!!!

 

Heather, I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time and I hope that everything is benign.

You do need to stop for a moment and get yourself back on track to eating healthy food. If it's too hard to be dieting right now, then at least make good choices in your food. Eat only whole foods and avoid all the processed garbage - you'll feel better, have more energy and it will be best for your daughter too. I hope you can feel all the support and love that we are sending you.

skylar

I hear ya! It is scary to even that possibility loom over you. These days however, it is amazing how much docs can do. Seriously, Honey, it would be pretty odd for you to lose your life with cancer! Not to say you may not be very inconvenienced and suffer some pain.

One thing i know; you will survive it for your baby girl.

Nothing like a good serious look at our life to get things in priority order!  i will pray that you will avoid this Big C!

Hey Sweet Baby, I know it is scary to hear a doctor say that she needs to do a test to rule out cancer, but ruling it out does not mean that you have cancer, so for now all you can do is try to be calm and wait.  But what you are going through sounds exactly like what Sessa said it sounds like so please try and take some comfort in that.

Until I got my diagnosis of PCOS, I can't tell you how many tests I had to rule out that I didn't have ovarian or uteran cancer.  It's the waiting that's a *****!  Just try to remember that this is all part of having the dreaded "female trouble". 

If this makes you stop and think about how eating alla that trash affects your body, then it's still not worth going through this!

We loves ya and I'll be praying for you, 

 Mary  

Hi Heather:

Wow, what a hard thing to go through but try not to focus on the "what ifs" (I know it's hard not to).  My obgyn is very aggressive about investigating any indication of cellular changes so I've had cervical biopsies in the office and they hurt like a mofo - far more than most of my plastic surgeries.  Hopefully your obgyn is being overly cautious too.

I know you'd do anything for your little girl so when you have cravings for junk, think about what getting healthy will mean to you AND your little girl.

I'll be thinking about you and hoping for the best for you.  Let us know what you find out.

Kim

Thanks everyone for your support!!  Cancer runs in my family, so to hear my dr. say the word puts me into a panic! I'm gonna try and not worry about it and the "what if's".  I'll keep y'all updated, and appreciate all the support!! I love you guys!!

Heather....I am also praying for you with a good outcome on the 6th.  I have gone through the cancer scare myself  with an ovarian cyst that needed (at my age) a hysterectomy to determine.  It was benign, thank heavens, but I know it's a scary time.  Take heart in that most female problems are benign...fibroids, cysts etc.  I'm glad your doctor is on top of it all.

You are a strong woman and may God give you the strength you need for this trial also.   You certainly have had more than your share to deal with lately.  Keep the faith, girl....we love you!!

Sherrie