Changes
I was on a mini-vacation this past weekend (Saturday through Monday) and something amazing happened. I got satisfied with my food amounts being smaller without trying, and I attribute this to praying to my Higher Power everyday for the willingness to do whatever it takes to recover from compulsive overeating, as well as the willingness to eat three moderate meals a day with nothing in between, and to not eat any of my clients' food. Now, if I can do the same thing when I'm emotionally distraught, I'll really be doing fantastic!
I had a binge on Saturday afternoon after coming home from getting my hair done. My husband was at a CPR class from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., and I didn't know when I'd be eating lunch out with him, before we left for our vacation. I ended up bingeing on healthy lunchmeat (sliced very thin) and alot of shredded mozzarella & cheddar cheese, after first eating two small Slimfast bars to "tide me over" until lunch. I had the binge at the time I normally eat lunch, and an OA friend of mine said it wasn't a binge, it was lunch. But I know the difference - lunch is controlled, moderate eating, and this was anything but controlled!
When we finally did eat lunch out, I ate very little food, so that helped to compensate somewhat for the binge. During the rest of the weekend, I was in control of my eating, and didn't eat until I was full, I ate until I was satisfied, which is a completely different thing to me than being full. If I eat until I'm full, I've overeaten. My husband thinks they are one and the same, but I know they aren't. To me, being satisfied means that I eat until I'm tired of the taste of my food, which comes well before I'm full.
Denise Phares/kitties4
I had a binge on Saturday afternoon after coming home from getting my hair done. My husband was at a CPR class from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., and I didn't know when I'd be eating lunch out with him, before we left for our vacation. I ended up bingeing on healthy lunchmeat (sliced very thin) and alot of shredded mozzarella & cheddar cheese, after first eating two small Slimfast bars to "tide me over" until lunch. I had the binge at the time I normally eat lunch, and an OA friend of mine said it wasn't a binge, it was lunch. But I know the difference - lunch is controlled, moderate eating, and this was anything but controlled!
When we finally did eat lunch out, I ate very little food, so that helped to compensate somewhat for the binge. During the rest of the weekend, I was in control of my eating, and didn't eat until I was full, I ate until I was satisfied, which is a completely different thing to me than being full. If I eat until I'm full, I've overeaten. My husband thinks they are one and the same, but I know they aren't. To me, being satisfied means that I eat until I'm tired of the taste of my food, which comes well before I'm full.
Denise Phares/kitties4
You're getting there, mentally!
Yup, very different things being full & satisfied. I know for me as a compulsive overeater, I have to "logic" my way thru meals.
One OA tool called HALT - just to stop and ask myself am I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? (HALT)...I thought of that with your example of eating your lunchmeats. You were hungry.
More Meal Logic for me: I eat one portion of foods, then stop. I then make myself wait at least 30 minutes. Most of us Compulsive types will eat til God knows when, so being full is very difficult to define.
Yup, very different things being full & satisfied. I know for me as a compulsive overeater, I have to "logic" my way thru meals.
One OA tool called HALT - just to stop and ask myself am I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? (HALT)...I thought of that with your example of eating your lunchmeats. You were hungry.
More Meal Logic for me: I eat one portion of foods, then stop. I then make myself wait at least 30 minutes. Most of us Compulsive types will eat til God knows when, so being full is very difficult to define.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
Thanks for reminding me about HALT. I'd forgotten about that. I saw my therapist last night, and she had several suggestions, too. She and I made a list of things I could do instead of binge - go on the computer, watch TV, talk with other OA members on the phone, eat an apple, instead, or an orange, or a grapefruit, or grapes. Anything but giving in and bingeing!
How long have you been attending OA and known you were a compulsive overeater? I've known I've been one since I was eight years old. I didn't become overweight at all until after puberty, and especially, in my early 20s. I'm 57 years old now, and morbidly obese (more than 100 pounds overweight). I've been on diet after diet after diet, and always ended up gaining back any weight I had lost, and then some. Diets just don't work for me at all. I do better just trying to eat three moderate meals a day with nothing in between, and try to eat healthy foods (I'm not a health fanatic, however - those foods sold exclusively at the health food stores tend to be more expensive than the grocery stores offer).
I basically eat what I enjoy, just in great moderation. This is easiest when I'm emotionally calm. I'm still in the baby step stages of learning to eat that way at all times, under all conditions. I joined OA originally 22 years ago, in my mid thirties, down in Akron, Ohio. I'm living in Cleveland, Ohio now, and have attended OA meetings seriously since February 13, 2006. I have a much greater understanding of program, abstinence, and how hard it is to recover from this disease than I did 22 years ago. I've become wiser, and more teachable over time. And I'm uncovering more and more understanding of how I operate emotionally, as well as physically.
I will ask my doctor on May 26th to do two tests for Celiac's Disease. I hope she will cooperate, so I can find out if I have glucose intolerance problems. If I found out I did, then I'd have to make a major shift in what I eat, and in my food plan, in general. I'd have to shop more at health food stores, which I find very expensive. Oh well! I hope I don't have the disease, really. I like the way I'm eating right now.
Denise Phares/kitties4
How long have you been attending OA and known you were a compulsive overeater? I've known I've been one since I was eight years old. I didn't become overweight at all until after puberty, and especially, in my early 20s. I'm 57 years old now, and morbidly obese (more than 100 pounds overweight). I've been on diet after diet after diet, and always ended up gaining back any weight I had lost, and then some. Diets just don't work for me at all. I do better just trying to eat three moderate meals a day with nothing in between, and try to eat healthy foods (I'm not a health fanatic, however - those foods sold exclusively at the health food stores tend to be more expensive than the grocery stores offer).
I basically eat what I enjoy, just in great moderation. This is easiest when I'm emotionally calm. I'm still in the baby step stages of learning to eat that way at all times, under all conditions. I joined OA originally 22 years ago, in my mid thirties, down in Akron, Ohio. I'm living in Cleveland, Ohio now, and have attended OA meetings seriously since February 13, 2006. I have a much greater understanding of program, abstinence, and how hard it is to recover from this disease than I did 22 years ago. I've become wiser, and more teachable over time. And I'm uncovering more and more understanding of how I operate emotionally, as well as physically.
I will ask my doctor on May 26th to do two tests for Celiac's Disease. I hope she will cooperate, so I can find out if I have glucose intolerance problems. If I found out I did, then I'd have to make a major shift in what I eat, and in my food plan, in general. I'd have to shop more at health food stores, which I find very expensive. Oh well! I hope I don't have the disease, really. I like the way I'm eating right now.
Denise Phares/kitties4
I have not physically attended an OA meeting for over 12 years! I often see the meetings listed in our paper, but never go. I kind of view my participation here as a fitting replacement (ongoing self-evaluation and accountability) and I read literature that I've kept when I feel particularly less in control.
I am now 52 and my active OA years were from age 32-36ish - I attended 3-4x a week! I was truly in crisis during that time. My issues were decidedly more insane behavior with food: binge purge!
In fact, it must be more "grey area" for those who don't purge to decide if/when one is really defined as compulsive. On the other hand, I heard stories like eating a whole cake then baking another one to hide it...so that type of thing is certainly out of control.
When did I know I was compulsive? Harder to clearly answer even in my own mind. I recall periods of time as a young child stealing bread out of the kitchen to sneak it and hide it - age 8??? I recall eating so much pumpkin pie at one Thanksgiving that I vomited for hours that night - again about age 7-9?
My mom forbade eating between meals - I mean never - and compounded by the fact that I also recall not getting enough to eat at mealtime at times- being made to feel like I was being a pig to want more food. Having 5 hungry kids and a drunken husband who was up/down on his providing repertoire was the "why" behind my mom's motives.
I began practicing purging at age 12ish - with a neighbor kid whose home had tons - TONS - of food that we were let loose on. Then came the high school years where I used street pills to control my raging hunger. So, looking back I can clearly see the path though foggier in the beginning stages.
I accept that I am never "recovered" and that I am always going to have to respect this about myself.
I am now 52 and my active OA years were from age 32-36ish - I attended 3-4x a week! I was truly in crisis during that time. My issues were decidedly more insane behavior with food: binge purge!
In fact, it must be more "grey area" for those who don't purge to decide if/when one is really defined as compulsive. On the other hand, I heard stories like eating a whole cake then baking another one to hide it...so that type of thing is certainly out of control.
When did I know I was compulsive? Harder to clearly answer even in my own mind. I recall periods of time as a young child stealing bread out of the kitchen to sneak it and hide it - age 8??? I recall eating so much pumpkin pie at one Thanksgiving that I vomited for hours that night - again about age 7-9?
My mom forbade eating between meals - I mean never - and compounded by the fact that I also recall not getting enough to eat at mealtime at times- being made to feel like I was being a pig to want more food. Having 5 hungry kids and a drunken husband who was up/down on his providing repertoire was the "why" behind my mom's motives.
I began practicing purging at age 12ish - with a neighbor kid whose home had tons - TONS - of food that we were let loose on. Then came the high school years where I used street pills to control my raging hunger. So, looking back I can clearly see the path though foggier in the beginning stages.
I accept that I am never "recovered" and that I am always going to have to respect this about myself.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
Truemans_Mom
on 5/14/09 1:32 am - Edmonds, WA
on 5/14/09 1:32 am - Edmonds, WA
Denise - the test for Celiac disease won't tell you if you are glucose intolerant - it will tell you if you are gluten intolerant. (neither one is a diagnosis that is much fun)
Jan
Jan
Jan D.
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