Getting your head in the game?

How do you do it? I need to lose some weight but don't want to diet. I am ready to make lifestyle changes.  I just can't figure out how to get my head in the game. I've been eating whatever I want and not even worrying about calories/fat/carbs, etc. I know it's my fault. I just wonder how does someone go from eating this way, to restricting what they eat, and trying to be healthy. I just want to live a long healthy life.

I am new to this stuff. Advice would be appreciated, thank you.

Hi.  I can't diet either.  I define dieting as going on a restrictive food plan to lose weight fast.  I am also a compulsive overeater, and belong to Overeaters Anonymous.  I am 57 years old, and starting dieting in my early 20s.  I have been on 20-25 diets in my adult life, and have gained back all the weight and more from every one of them. 

I don't diet today, but I am slowly losing weight by working the OA program, which involves praying to my Higher Power for self control every day, going to OA meetings, reading OA literature, talking with my OA friends, etc.  For me, the reason I am morbidly obese and have been overweight since my 20s is that I have a disease that is called compulsive overeating, which in other words, is food addiction.

I eat three moderate meals a day with nothing in between, try to avoid eating things with sugar in them in between meals, substitute sugar-free, low fat ice cream two times a week for dessert right after the dinner meal, occasionally eating out and having a moderate dessert (sometimes with sugar, sometimes not) right after the main meal.

This is what works for me.  I had to give up the "diet mentality", which is my obsessing about how long it's going to take me to lose all my weight and too much stepping on a scale.  I weight myself once a month, so I don't think about how much I weigh all the time.  I am not perfect.  I have had slips and set backs.  But most of the time, I follow my food plan (which I got from my doctor), and eat moderately, refraining from compulsive overeating one day at a time.  The action of refraining from compulsive overeating is what we in OA call "abstinence".

I hope this doesn't sound overwhelming to you.  If you are interested, you can look up OA meetings on www.oa.com.  I know I can't diagnose anybody but me as a compulsive overeater.  You may just be eating unhealthy foods, and got overweight as a result of that alone.  These types of people are referred to in OA as normal eaters.  When they start moderating their portions and eat healthy foods predominantly, they lose their excess weight, and keep it off by keeping a balance between their healthy meals and occasional snacking on small amounts of what I call junk food (cookies, cake, snack crackers, etc.).

Denise Phares/kitties4

 

Hi Denise, thank you for taking the time to write me. When I ‘diet’ my mind freaks out. Once it realizes I am restricting certain foods, it goes into overdrive. I think this is quite common among the dieting world.

OA seems like a very incredible program and I am so happy for you. I like the idea of OA but I am not a religious person. I guess all Morbidly Obese people have an addiction to food, though I know sometimes it has to do with medical conditions and certain medications.

 

I like the idea of 3 meals per day, no snacking in between. I want to also incorporate LOTS of water into my days and limit or even cut out diet soda. I will also have to give up this diet mentality, so I don’t feel deprived. Did you set a goal for yourself, or mini-goals? I just don’t want to set an incredibly silly goal that I may never reach. My job plays a big role in the way I eat and the times I eat. I have a desk job working nights.

 

It doesn’t sound overwhelming at all. Thank you for taking the time to write such a nice reply. I am a carb-addict, and would do much better by avoiding the simple ones.

Carbs are a big problem and probably the reason why you are hungry all the time and unable to stay on plan with a diet.  You need to eliminate carbs or greatly reduce them and make sure that when you eat a carb it is balanced with protein.  I never eat a carb today with a protein first.  You need to set mini goals.  I buy incentive clothing - onesize smaller and then try to take of 10 pounds to fit the smaller size.  Then I buy something else in a smaller size, and son on.

I had WLS surgery three years ago and don't be under the misguided impression that the surgery  solves all your weight issues.  Many people regain their weight.  You have to make massive lifestyle changes - food and exercise in order to keep the weight off.  You have to examine the reasons why you are addicted and eating (psychological dependence as well) and you have to control your environment.  Can you imagine a recovering alcoholic cohabiting with a non-recovering alcholic?  So, if your SO and/or children are not eating healthy, they all have to take the cure along with you in order for it to work.

You have to diet.  I weigh 138 and I am on a diet every day.  I keep to around 1200 calories and I work out for at least an hour in the gym and I go on a two mile walk every night after dinner and it's a struggle not to regain weight.  But you know something - it's worth the trouble and sacrifice.  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

Good luck.

I've taken a slightly different way. I was eating what is considered a standard American low fat diet. However I read a book that changed my life - it's not about dieting to lose weight, in fact there is no specified diet in this book. Instead it's written by a nutritionist *****searches what people eat in the field but also on animals in his lab and all of his work is peer reviewed journal articles. This is the only book he wrote for the general population - The China Study. I though it was about China and the melamine poisoning but it's completely different and discusses what people eat around the world and the various incidence of diseases like heart disease and cancer - and it's an eye opener and also a good start to learn what true nutrition is. From there I found a book written by one of the people that he mentions later in the book and read that book - again more education about what we really should be eating and again fully backed up by legitimate scientific articles - especially about using diet to treat certain diseases. The last book and it's again one I totally recommend is Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Fuhrman - again backed up with serious scientific citations - this is not junk science like many diet books.

So what started as a diet following the traditional rules has evolved into the way DH and I eat - it's just our normal way of eating and I don't think about anything except what I want to make for my next meal. I don't count calories or carbs and I don't feel the need to eat between meals. I am not eating any traditional processed food - but I'm lazy and like to make quick meals so I do rely on some frozen veggies and canned beans for example. I'm having fun with new recipes and the whole issue of over eating, compulsive eating etc. has just disappeared - I have no idea where it went but I think someone above hit the nail on the head - I was over eating junk food filled with tons of useless calories - so it wasn't so much the volume but the lack of content.

I highly recommend you read those two books - I borrowed mine from the library - The China Study and Eat to Live. Even if you don't follow their suggestions you will learn an awful lot of useful information to eat healthier and lose weight more easily.

BTW, DH and I have decided to become vegan (no animal products) however Eat to Live allows you to eat whatever meat and dairy you want in limited amounts as long as it's low fat.

Skylar

This is how I think about dieting.  The way that I was eating was just making me fat, so it only made sense that I had to stop eating that way and find an alternative.  Unfortunately, deprivation of unhealthy foods is the only way you are going to get the weight off.  No one wants to hear that they will be deprived but it's the price you pay to get healthy.  For most people, eating complex carbs will only lead to cravings for more complex carbs because of how fast your body metabolizes them and then needs more.  Healthy foods like vegetables, lean meats, good fats and protein will keep you from being hungry.  I very rarely eat off plan NOW that I've gotten the hang of it, but because I don't eat junk, fruit taste like candy to me now. 

Besides, eating foods that are processed to within an inch of their lives and full of chemicals and sodium that makes you bloat is no way to live a long healthy life so you might want to start there and cook your own food so you know the exact ingredients.

All of this takes time and research but feel free to ask any questions and we'll be glad to try and help.

Mary