The Path of Least Resistance

These are just some thoughts I've been having on self discipline pertaining to weight loss and how do you get it.  They may seem a bit random, but most thoughts are.  As for as how do you get self discipline...I don't know, but after much practice, I just have it.  I certainly wasn't raised with it, at our house, my mother had none and we were free to eat at will so I guess you could say I was RAISED to have none.  That was my way of eating, I wasn't fat, so who needed discipline?

Fast forward to 320 pounds and desperate to lose weight, I'm thinking sumpn' I'm doing ain't workin' for me, I'd better stop and figure it out right quick before I reach a point of no return.  So what does one do when what they are doing is wrong...you do a total about face and turn and go in the opposite direction!  So for me, self discipline started when I made that commitment to stay on the path of that direction.  Here was my course of action.  I was insulin resistant, so I started a low carb diet...everyone is different so you'll have to find what works for what is going on with YOUR body.  I had PCOS and part of controlling it is exercise, so I did research on what kind I needed for my set of cir****tances and body type.  My thinker was a stinker, so I started group hypnotherapy classes to help me deal with why I was an emotional eater and how to deal with the feelings of being deprived.  I learned that being deprived was not a punishment but a different way to look at food.  Food was for nutrition...it was not for comfort or consolation when I felt bad...it was up to me to control my own inner brat who wanted what she wanted when she wanted it!    I finally got her settled down enough for her to learn that not eating pie with everyone else was not going to kill her, cuz she seriously thought it would!  So after much practicing of the new guidelines I had put together, I was on a road to weight loss and practicing self discipline all along the way until it became second nature to me, and then miracle of miracles, it became a part of who I am.

Now that all sounds fine and good, but what is not told in that little story is that by nature, I'm a layzee azz.  I was never athletic, other than the fact that I lived in the country and road my bike for miles a day.  I was like water running down a stream, whenever it encounters a rock, it will flow around the rock rather than over it, which would require more time and energy...it follows the path of least resistance.  When I say that I totally changed the direction I was going, I mean I changed from a body and mindset that followed the path of least resistance to one who took adversity head on. 

When I first started to eat as close to natural as possible, if I was in town and short on time, it was just too easy to convince myself that stopping to pick something up was OK, even though I knew it wasn't healthy, it was easier than the mental and physical struggle of having to cook.  I followed the path of least resistance.

When it was time for me to workout, procrastination and finding other things to do was what got me out of it, instead of telling myself that this was just too important to miss and it HAD to be done for my health and weight loss.  I followed the path of least resistance.

When I was struggling with not eating the goodies I was addicted to, it was too easy to say "just this one time", and eat what I wanted rather than struggle with dealing with my emotions.  I followed the path of least resistance.

But in our defense, I think it is probably human nature to follow the path of least resistance and do what comes easiest for us.  That's why dieting can be so hard...it's not "natural" for our mindsets to always take the path that is going to cause a struggle, whether mental, physical, or emotional.  Laying on the sofa and doing nothing just 'feels so good'.  Why would we possibly want to get up...that's just crayzee talk!

But the truth is, our bodies were made for motion and to burn the stored energy that we create when we eat.  We weren't made to be layzee azzez, we were made to be well oiled machines that function on food for fuel and exercise to keep us strong and healthy.  It truly is in our best interest to eat well and workout whether we are fat or not.  It truly is in our best interest to learn never to take the easy way out, but to get in the fight and stay there until it is no longer a struggle, but our way of life. 

My prayer for alla us is that the path of least resistance is no longer acceptable to us and that we are going to do whatever it takes to beat this thing.  We are worth the effort and the struggle and the resistance!

  Mary         

Excellent post - I'm glad to see you're working on self awareness and attacking the problem from different angles so you are learning to just eat normal and to just be normal (whatever normal means?!?!?)

For me reading just one book has set everything into motion - prior to that I've been so-so - sometimes very good and sometimes very bad with my food choices which is probably typical for most people. That book just changed all my stinking thinking around and I've read some other books that reinforced it - and the best part is DH is right along with me 100% which is important too. I will never go back now to the way I was eating because I feel physically so much better.

Well now you made me have to ask...what was the book???

It must be nice to have a DH who is on the journey with you.  Mine has a metabolism so he can eat whatever he wants...although I will say that now that he is getting older, he has cut down on his goody consumption, but that may have to do with the fact that there isn't much of a selection in the house anymore!

Normal?   Well, at least now I LOOK normal! What am I laughing at, that was some HARD WORK.

Mary 

I commend you on your insights into yourself.  I belong to Overeaters Anonymous, and am also currently doing therapy with an eating disorders psychologist.  She recently mentioned that when I want to binge to cover up the feeling of deprivation (which is emotional), that I should go some place private, imagine myself having a temper tantrum (like your picture in your post), and truly comfort my inner child like a loving parent, giving her what she really needs instead of excess food.

I had inadequate parents, and had an emotionally deprived childhood, where I was "starving" for attention.  I couldn't get it at home, so I turned to food to comfort and console me instead.  And I have also followed the path of least resistance in my life, as well.  I've been on 20-25 diets (fast weight loss) in my adult life, and have gained all the weight back I lost and more after I was done with them.  Maintenance eating seemed out of my reach, because I really did not know how to eat like a thin person does, to maintain a normal weight and body size.

With the OA program, my therapist, and alot of prayers to my Higher Power for self control with my eating, I am slowly getting out of compulsive overeating/bingeing.  It's a tough battle, since the way I learned to eat at home just wasn't working for me, either.

Denise Phares/kitties4

Wow Denise, it sounds like you are working that therapy girl! Speaking of comforting your inner child, my favorite part of the book was when I promised my inner child that I was an adult now and that I would be the one responsible for taking care of all of her emotional needs and that she could trust me to never abandon her or leave her feeling lonely or lost.  I'm a much better parent to her than my mother ever was...that's for sure.  But now that she is calmed down and feels safe in my abilities, she doesn't seem to be as demanding as she used to be.  The worst ever were her tantrums for Popeyes!  Thank God she got over THAT!

I wish you much continued success on your journey and I can see that you are starting to grow and take accountability for your own well being.  That's huge progress, girlee!

Mary 

Hmmmm, I will have to ponder this - a lot more. For starters, the way *I roll* is not around rocks in the stream of Life - I am more like scattered showers, on again off again. All over the place.

I THINK your big question up in all that up there (LOL) is how did I get self discipline? I would say years...literally...of researching different ways to eat. I picked up books at the library or garage sales - all & any that had to do with weight loss or healthier food eating.

I took bits and pieces from all. It was not until I surrendered to WW ~year 2000) that I learned how to eat for my body (regular smaller meals and keeping a food journal).

In my case, I am so NOT a lazee azz, which i am eternally grateful for, otherwise this azz would have been 300+ pounds.  More like 400. I adore pysical activity; even as a kid I loved to be out walking, biking, hiking etc. I would have never came home if it were up to me.

But back to the OP...how i got this far. I would say over time - LOTS of it - I began to realize that eating less of food that I love gave me more positive results than when I would always screw up and do the wrong thing, namely, stuff myself with all food to the point of sickness (phyusical and mental).

Holly - your posts remind me of myself so much when it comes to eating. I had so many false starts on my food plan. I get the feeling that you (& me used to be anyways) both eat to fill a hole.
I still have that hole, I think, i just took a different tack and now *most of the time * just do not tolerate the behavior of overeating or eating lots of really bad food for me.
 
Most importantly:  I forgot about WHY i had this hole.  That does not matter at this point. I was 40 effin years old before i even began to *get that*.  Just stop it. It feels terrible when i do it.
That seems to terribly simplified in the end but there it is. I just don't like it anymore.

"Most importantly:  I forgot about WHY i had this hole."

I don't hardly ever think about it.  Maybe because at that point I'm too busy pigging out!ha  Yanno, I keep looking around at the world around me looking at people.  Although there is a lot of obese people around, there is not that many older people.  It's really starting to scare me wondienrg what my chances are at this point of how long I have to live, how long we all have!  You are actvie, and not that much over weight now so I think you have made it.  But it is a scary thought isn't it.

I envy you with your athletic skills.  I keep wondering what I'm "missing".  My husband is a BIG TIME couch potato.  All he does is sit in front of his computer, day and night.  Being a wife that doesn't want to get a divorce, feel the need to do what he does in order to keep the peace.  If I do something else, I get pissed off that he is still on the computer.  I have never in my life been into sports of any kind.  But even though I sit at this desk all the time, I'm aggrevated at myself (have been for a LONG, LONG time), for not doing something else.  It's just I have no clue on what to do!  So I get frusturated and yell at my husband, making it his fault for us being on the computer.  lol  Then we both get frusturated.ha  I'm a VERY spontaneous person, and without someone else doing it with me, I lose hope...know what I mean? On my own I can figure things out, but most of it deals around money.  I don't have that now.   I need to find something to satisify my own inner needs, because I am literally bored to death.  Have been bored with myself for years.   Been thinking about trying to figure that out with some kind of activiitie.  This also might stem to alot of my depression.  This is a lot of times when I hop in bed and don't get out for days.  So I'm so envyous of you finding what you love to do!  I think it's so cool.  

Geeze Holl, if that were me sitting at a computer doing something I had absolutely no interest in, I would feel very lonely.  What is he doing on that puter all day and all night anyway, it CAN'T take up that much time.  That's kind of like being a football widow.  I know that in the fall and early winter, don't even expect to see mine on the weekends, Monday night and Thursday night.  But I allow him that time and I use it to do things that I want to do.  Like quiet time or flapping my lips on the phone.  But he knows that I wouldn't put up with that all year long which is why I made him pick one sport that he was free to watch without me *****ing and then the rest were what you read about in the paper.  Good Lawd, if he were to watch every basketball game that came on the tube, I'd have to choke him!

You need to turn your way of thinking around to what can your husband do to keep the peace with you!  Your interests are just as important as his and it doesn't cost a dime for him to give his wife the attention she needs to make her happy.  But men aren't mind readers, you have to let them know what you are thinking and what you expect of them.  Sounds like it's time for a li'l heart to heart between the two of you.

Mary

Hol...both of my husbands were/are not into physical exercise. The first one was a compleat azzhole, so forget him for now.

My beloved one I have now is ill, so he can no longer do that type of thing for too long: we used to hike 12 miles, wadn't no thang - or a 30 mile bike ride.

I have to leave him in his own place. My health is very important.  i know it hurts him on many levels when I do have to leave him to go do my bike rides or do walks after work.  I try to rememebr to invite him to come here and there:  he can ride a bike whilst I trot, or whatever.

DH's can be very detrimental to a wifey's health. You will find your ground with him. Just be loving about it...but insistent. Let him be pissed...he'll get over it.

Fachry-eye...it's not like you are off on trips to "find yourself" or going to the bar alla time. He won't stay mad.

Mary - you are normal and you should be proud of the hard work you've done - it's really hard to work with a therapist and address painful past memories and replace them with healthy responses.

 

The book that has changed my life is called The China Study by Dr. Colin Campbell. I have to be honest, when I borrowed it from the library I thought it was going to be about something completely different - LOL I had no idea the effect it was going to have on me - well it was a good surprise on me. I thought it was going to be about the terrible poisons that the Chinese have been adding to everything from human and animal food to lead in children’s toys. ETC. Well it's not about this at all. Dr. Campbell is a nutritionist who has studied diets around the world  (China is only one chapter) and discusses both his findings in the field (what people eat IRL) in his lab animal experiments’ and other peoples experiments. The last few chapters are about politics of health, industry and government. It's one of those books that you just have to read the whole book and then sit back and let it wash over you. Now both DH and I are making completely healthy choices of food. Before I read this book I was following a typical healthy American diet and slowly losing weight - I'm still losing weight but I'm feeling so light, have more energy and I would never have expected this. I've gone on to read other books about this subject and I'm in awe of the amount of research that supports this. If you want more info, just PM me.

It is nice having DH on the journey with me - absolutely. When I started though I told him that he could eat anything he wanted out of the house but he just felt so much better that he stopped after a few days. There were many days when he was eating Ben and Jerry's while I was eating non-fat yogurt with fresh fruit LOL The other reason I think is that I'm careful to prepare food that looks really good - lots of color and displayed nicely on the plate - like you would in a fancy restaurant.

Denise Phares/kitties4, I’m glad that you found help. I once considered going to OA but they didn’t have any meetings near me at the time.

 

HollyRachel – I have been battling some autoimmune diseases lately that left me unable to fully exercise for awhile. I started to go regularly to a local mall to walk. DH started to join me and we found it very therapeutic – we called it Walkies and Talkies. The plus at the mall is the weather is always perfect, there are plenty of seats to sit if you get tired and there is an every changing landscape of people and store merchandize. I’m over my AI flare so I’m back walking on my treadmill but I’m thankful for my local mall making it easy for me to walk there. It is so much easier to start walking in the mall than on a boring treadmill – if you get started then maybe your DH will join you? I also walk during lunch when the weather is nice.  If you can just start walking you’ll find it easier to begin to think about what other activities you would be interested in doing.