Made a big mistake

I am really frustrated with myself. I went out of town this past week to visit my best friend in the world. We have been best friends for 15 years. She has been having some issues in her marriage and just going through a general depression. So I went to see her just to try to be there for her. Why I am frustrated with myself is that my best friend has the same issue that I do. Emotional eating!!!! So for the whole week I was there we ate and ate and ate some more. Now I'm back home and disgusted that I gained back almost 8 pounds I am now up to 198. Why do I do this to myself ??? I work so hard to loose every pound and then I wash away all my hard work. So I am back on the diet today and not weighing in again until next Monday. I am hoping I can at least take of what I put on this week....I know that this is not gonna be a diet but a life change... but why is it so hard to change the way we live, eat, and deal with emotions....

Hi Nij...I had a few eating buddies - we even called it the Secret Eating Club, which fed my disease of food compulsion. People can be triggers for our unhealthy eating patterns!

Over time, either you will get well together or you must part ways on this. It's more likely to be the former, b/c I found that the other persons were not taking it seriously when I would politely refuse to engage anymore and try to talk porblems out, not bring food into it. They usually do not repsond well - mine took it personally and thought I was trying to become "better" than they were. Hey, maybe I was.....

It is also possible they did not have the same problems with food (feeling out of control); regardless, I had to cut loose.

Thanks for the advise. This person is someone who I am not willing to give up. She is more like family  then a friend. She is my main support system in my life. Unfortunately we have this issue with food. I will have to learn to adjust and change the habits we have when we are together. When we were younger we had the same eating issues but we were both so active we never had a problem gaining weight. Now as adults it has taken a toll on both of us. I think I am just gonna have to talk to her and let her know that when I go and see her we can not be doing this to ourselves. We have to focus on other ways to feel better.

Honey, it's okay.  So many of us do the same thing.  It's over, you're back on track and you only have forward to look at, so take some comfort in the fact that you're going to make some progress this week.

Best of luck!!!

Thank you for the support. I know its only a set back and I have to move forward and stay strong in my goals. Thats one thing I love abou this site. Sometimes when I go through these things I feel alone and like there is no one out there who knows the frustraition I feel and how disappointed I get in myself. Its nice to know there are others out there that have the same issues.

Doing that which is familiar is always easiest.  You've had fifteen years of junk food orgies with this woman, so of course you did what you always do to console her..you ate with her.

But this is an opportunity for you to learn from how you reacted.  Think about how what you did is affecting you, right now in this moment.  Eight pounds is a heavy price to pay for consoling a friend!  Think about what you could have done differently that would have consoled her that didn't involve food.  Like taking a stroll, or window shopping or sitting down and having a cup of coffee together.  The most important lesson is that dealing with emotions and eating have GOT to be two separate things.  Never eat when you are emotional!  It's an invitation to gain weight. 

As long as you have learned something positive from this, then your eight pounds are not in vain...although a rather hard pill to swallow, and this expensive lesson will lead to more mature behavior in the future.

Mary

My past eating "buddies" were my second and present husbands.  My second husband basically solved his weight and eating problem by reprogamming himself with self hypnosis.  But my present husband is just about as obese as I am.  I weigh 269.5 pounds, and he weighs 299.  I'm five foot, 1/2 inch tall, and he's five foot eight.

When I model good eating habits and moderation, then he follows suit.  If I start eating cookies or candy, he follows suit.  It's important that I get my act together so I don't help ruin his health, too.  I am not diabetic, but he is.

Denise Phares/kitties4