Have you asked yourself
I'm listening to a Jillian Michael's podcast and she's talking about the emotional work that needs to be done for weight loss to happen and be lasting.
She suggests creating a timeline of your weight and what was happening in your life at the time, both for when you were successful and when you weren't.
She says when you see it in black and white, you can realize better your triggers and find ways to deal with them.
Like my timeline
7 year old/baby fat
liked sweets but was forbidden in the house
10 year old/chubby
move and new social environment
*12 year old/see my blog pic, was chubby but not bad, but then I started to gain around 50 lbs
what happened--a couple of scary issues with the opposite sex
*12-23 I went from 150-280!
23 lost weight to 259, but then lost a family member and regained it
26-29, got up to 315
broken heart
30-33 up to 345
lonely
35, dieted to 272
healing over broken heart
36, regained to 320
37-39, lost to 259-265 (my hover range)
Seems to me, as much as things could have been worse at 12, they were indeed pivotal...
Now the question is, how to heal that 100%. She suggests realizing that it's others' problems, not yours.
I watch this woman in the gym who, by what I can gather, must have been raped years ago and ballooned up to a size 24. She's gone to a 14 in less than 5 months. It's not so much her foods, she thinks, as it is letting go.
I'm trying to learn how to do the same....
What would yours look like?
on 2/2/09 9:27 am
Unfortunately, I have a horrible memory so I'm not able to document my timeline but I do know that I gained significant poundage during emotionally difficult times. I believe my success for the past few years is directly related to *letting go* and dealing with the reasons why I overate.
I believe it's a work in progress but at this point, I don't turn to food to deal with emotional issues. I cope using other means.
I know I gained the most significant amount at or near age 32 as an adult. I quit smoking, was suffering the dying throes of an ugly marriage and uglier divorce. In 5 years I packed on well over 50# to get to my highest known weight of 230+
My ex brought disgrace to our family, which had more than a little to do with why I had to leave him. I still think somehow I have not *really* forgiven myself for not catching on sooner to his degradation into the foulest behavior. I was aware of signs and had not a clue what to do next. Years of abuse had paralyzed my reasoning, but even knowing that does not help me release this completely.
The way i can even talk about it is treating it like it was another person who dealt with it - or didn't deal with it. Oh I wish I could allow this to be someone else's problem, not when I feel that I do own part of it - even if that percentage is, say 2%.
I lost that excess weight a few times, and it came back. I am not sure if this is what holds me back from feeling like I deserve better, but it is a heavy contender!
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
For me, i was a tiny bit overweight (pudgy as you said!) in childhood, basically from birth all the way up until I was 14, when I suddenly "BALLOONED". LOL. I think I went from about 175 to 220 from freshman to senior in HS. I honestly can't explain why, there was no defining moment, except that my mom was pretty abusive. I lost a bunch of weight when I fell in love around 24, then gained it all back plus more again after the big break-up. Been on a steady gain ever since, loneliness I guess. Got myself up to 325 around 30, lost a bunch, gained it again (no good reason), was losing early last year, only to gain it all plus about 25 lbs. more when my dad put on eternity last year. I managed to get up to 306 again! Anyway, I am on the way back down YET again.
BUT ... this time for good. =) I think its good to write the timeline down. Lets you see all the times you gave in, gives you perspective on where you could have been if you had stuck to it.
I think calling this out, recognizing what impacted us so negatively can help us face it, tackle it, and put the issue to rest when we're better prepared to handle it...when we can realize it no longer has thepower to hurt us the way it once did...when we realize we have more power than we knew back then.
