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I will not beat myself up for gaining, but start fresh on Monday morning, February 2nd. I prayed this week for willingness to give up the overeating before then, but I just wasn't willing this week to change again, and to give up the excess food. A part of me found it was "fun" to eat however much I felt like eating, even though I knew it was too much.
Overeating really is a coping mechanism as well as a recreational activitiy for me. I haven't been going to OA meetings for the last three weeks, and I haven't missed them. I am not currently working the 12 steps of OA, because I feel that they don't help me address my overeating issues well enough to truly heal me. I don't expect a "cure" for overeating, but my therapist (Dr. Goran) is helping me to address my childhood issues, and making good suggestions for replacing recreational eating with other forms of healthier recreation - bowling, walking, going to concerts, going to movies and not eating anything there, going to museums, going to nature walks and exhibits, etc.
Dr. Goran says if I fill my life with non-food related joys and recreations, then I will fill the void that I used food to fill before, and not be so food-obsessed in the future. She wants me to treat myself with love, by eating healthy foods in moderation, and having more fun in my life with my husband. Right now, our recreation consists of eating out at restaurants and going to movies, having food there, and watching DVDs on TV with food. I am slowly incorporating exercise as part of my routine, after work is done.
Dr. Goran is taking the place of an OA sponsor for me, and her suggestions and therapy are taking the place of the 12 steps of OA for me. I hate the term "abstinence", which implies deprivation, strict eating, and rigidity. I will no longer count the days I eat healthy and moderately, since I will no longer be active in OA.
Denise Phares/kitties4
Sounds like you are evolving in your weight loss journey. I have to say I read your post when you posted the other day regarding not going to OA any more. One statement that you wrote has really made me think since then. You stated that your therapist said that you do not have enough non-food related fun in your life. That really hit home for me, as I'm the same way. Good for her pin pointing that out to you. Have you figured anything out yet? I've been beating my brain thinking of things that I actually do non food related that is fun and I can't even think of one (besides shopping!).
I also have to applaud you to replace some of this for exercising and just eating healthy AND in moderation. That is just excellent. I have a feeling this doctor of yours might be good for you.
Have a good weekend!
