What am I doing?

I know how you feel - I'm there now, too.  I had accumulated 290 days of abstinence, and broke it this week, after having some old emotional issues come up following a colonoscopy.  I finally had a pain-free colonoscopy, and I called the other doctor who gave me an excruciatingly painful one three years ago, and unleashed my anger on his receptionist.  Then I traced this anger I had at that doctor to my anger at my dead father, who put me through excruciatingly painful emotional pain from childhood on.

I wrote about this pain, shared it with my husband, then proceeded to eat over it, instead of staying on track with my food.  I took back all the bad behaviors I had worked so hard to let go of, and feel unwilling right now to give them up again.

Denise Phares/kitties4

 

Thanks gals. You all had some awesome insight and advice. I knew I could count on you. You are truly a part of me that's why I knew I could come to you. I knew each one of you could relate to my issues and understand. Instead of telling me how badly I am whining, you just give a hug, a gentle talk and calm assurance that I CAN DO THIS!

I love you all!
Beth