Abstinence - 289th Day

Breakfast
2 pieces 12-grain french toast with margarine & sugar-free syrup
3/4 cup concord grape juice
1-1/2 cups light soy milk
1 cup hazelnut coffee
2 cups water

Morning Snack
A few cookies & small pretzels
1 cup coffee

Lunch (from Taco Bell)
1 soft Taco with mild taco sauce, veggies, cheese, & beef
2 Chalupas Supreme with veggies, cheese, beef & sour cream
1 carmel apple empanada
Fruit punch

Dinner
2 lamb chops on griddle
1 baked white potato with margarine
1/2 can vegetable soup
25 green grapes
Leftover fruit punch from lunch
2 small muffin-like Slimfast bars

Denise Phares/kitties4
 

 

 

Wow, 289 days of abstinence .

I know that you are NOT trying to lose weight, but have you had that little side effect with this much abstaining from compulsive overeating .

You are truly amazing.  The most amount of days I had of abstinence when I was in OA was 30 days.  I then ate off what I committed to and had to start to day one again .

Leila

Actually, I am trying to lose weight.  I weigh 268.5 pounds, and I am only 5 foot 1/2 inch tall.  I am approximately 160 pounds overweight.  What I am not doing is "dieting", in other words, trying to lose weight as fast as I can on some ****mamie diet that some company trying to make money off of overweight people has cooked up.  I'm just trying to eat moderate portions of mostly healthy foods, with a little treat thrown in now and then.  I am losing weight very slowly, but I am losing it, nonetheless.

Denise Phares/kitties4

Oh.  Do they have an OA where they still use the Grey Sheet by you? A couple of my friends from OA transferred to OA using Grey Sheet and have had a ridiculous amount of  Abstinence with complete excess weight loss.

I love and believe in OA for certain people.  It helped me and helps me to a certain extent (like I have not been to a meeting in quite some time BUT I will never rule out going to one or recommending one)  For example, I had a sponser who had great success, I mean he had been  near 400lbs and lost 190lbs AND maintained while I knew him for about 7 years.  He was so strict on me so strict about food and how abstinence was defined.  His rule was if I didn't turn over my food for the day, he would drop me.  I dropped him after a couple of months.  I wish I would have known to love myself more then, I would have dropped him sooner.  I used to think everything was my fault and I was wrong all the time - it had to be me - right?

Now I have my own issues, one being that I am a survivior of some childhood stuff (as many of us are).  Though I have worked on so much stuff, and for the most part am over it certain environments/cir****tances can make me feel like I am a little girl again. I can't feel like I'm being controlled, like I'm bein suffocated.  I can't feel like if I eat this I'm good and if I eat that, I'm bad.  I crumble under these conditions.  This was the worst scenario for me.  I've learned that I have to be kind to myself to do well - that there is no good or bad.  That I am open to everything and I don't need to be afraid of eating anything - that I will make healthy food choices when I love myself.  Love heals all ailments, all heartaches. And God (whatever you call him) is Love - the ultimate love, the unchanging hand, our provider.  You can let go and trust in him to make things right.  There is a huge spiritual component to a balanced weight and every other thing you want right in life.

Be kind to yourself Denise.  Love yourself, embrace who you are right now and then you can feel good enough to make the right choice to get you where you need to be.

L