Question about weight and relarionships

It has totally effected my relationships, but I think the main reason it's effected my relationships is because my self-esteem is so low, I let it effect them? I have a friend who's bigger than me, and she has self-esteem to spare, despite her size, and I have always been amazed at how easily she develops new relationships, and how easy it always was for her to find dates (she's been married 8 years now, and just found out they're expecting). It's always been so hard for me. I was heavy throughout high school, was 285 at graduation (funny, but I WISH I weighed that now!!) and never had a single date. Not one. I was teased mercilessly at school and at home, and when I finally began to date I always felt like I wasn't worthy, that I should be thankful/lucky they wanted to be with me. It made me blind to problems. Like using me, taking advantage of me, ignoring me/not calling for long periods of time, and expecting me to be ok with that, and I was. Because I should be lucky I had a guy at all. I havn't dated since december 2002 when I was pregnant with my daughter and her father left me. As my wieght's gone up, my self-esteem's gone down and I don't see why any guy would want to date a heifer like me. If I was skinny, or at least at a healthy weight I would be dating all the time. I want to be that person. When I was at my smallest about 8 or 9 years ago I weighed 220 and was a size 16. I felt so skinny! And I felt hot! And guys paid attention to me, positive attention. What I really wish I could find is a guy that loves me for who I am inside, that will love me fat or thin. I don't think guys like that really exist.

Heather, hun they do exist. But you need to worry about YOU first.
My sister has gained alot of weight since her long time relationship of 5 yrs. ended and her self esteem had flushed down the toilet with it. This was 3yrs ago!! She is young and hasnt experienced life yet and at this point has given up. You need to take care of yourself FIRST. I have told her when she can feel good about herself and respect herself then a man is worth her time. To all of you have relationship problems, you are a beautiful, smart women. Once you respect yourself so will everyone else.
I have been fortunate to have found my night and shining armor BUT with my current weight I worry everyday he will see how heavy I have gotten and decide to leave. But he has not said ONE WORD about my weight. And when I said I needed to lose weight he just said he would be there when I need him. But this battle is something that I have deal with myself.

"What I really wish I could find is a guy that loves me for who I am inside, that will love me fat or thin. I don't think guys like that really exist."

I used to feel that way too!! That no guy would ever really love me for ME, even though I'm hugely fat. Well I did find such a guy.  I always thought that if I found someone that loved me just as I am, it would help me lose weight because I would have everything I wanted and it would somehow inspire me. Hahaha ... yaright!! It has been no help at all. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years this month and it has made no difference to helping me lose weight. Its definitely VERY NICE to be with someone who loves me and thinks I'm attractive even though I look in the mirror and go UGH!! EWW!! BLAH!!! gag!!!  lol .. its very nice but still no help at all. LOL ... I need to lose weight FOR ME because its the only way for me to be happy and be my real ME, not feel held back because I'm too fat for this or too fat for that.

I think you should just go about your life and enjoy it, and work on losing weight and getting healthy, and you will meet someone because you'll be happy, healthy, and feeling good about yourself. I think what helps is being open and positive, because if you are closed off, excessively shy, grumpy, negative-thinking, it will just turn guys off and away. You can be a 300 lb. grump or a 300 lb. happy person and look totally different because you will carry yourself differently, be more approachable if you're happy, will have a better attitude if you're happy ... someone will want to tbe around you! If you're very shy, there's nothing wrong with looking online. I met my boyfriend online, by accident really, we met playing an MMORPG. I know a LOT of people who have met AND MARRIED online in various ways ... chat rooms, MySpace, singles websites like Match.com or eharmony.

You know there is nothing wrong with looking!! Whoever said you find someone when you're not looking ... its just not always true. I wasn't really "looking" but I wasn't "not looking" either when I found my boyfriend. lol ... 

As far as treatment goes, I have NEVER been the type to settle for less. I know how I need and deserve to be treated and I won't settle for less. You need to decide, this is how I want to be treated, and I won't settle for anything less than this! I want to be called often, I want attention, love, the works!! =) If my boyfriend told me he was calling at noon, the phone rang exactly at noon. He didn't play games. When I  talk, he listens to my stupid and boring stories. lol. I would just say ... no need to settle. DEFINITELY no need to put up with abuse or mistreatment of any kind. The hard part is learning to cut a guy loose and moving on. But you will be amazed, the first time you do it, it gets easier every time.  Don't waste your time. Move on to the next if someone isn't giving you what you need.

YOU DESERVE BETTER. Believe it