how i've been doing....

not well. Which is why I've been mostly absent. Time for confession. I did poorly this weekend, totally gave up. Went to the store and bought a huge chocolate cake, an obscene amount of huge chocolate bars, twix bars, candy loaded icecream, french bread, croissants, and I've been eating giant amounts of fast food even though I can't afford it. Yesterday I 'let' (I actually think it was my idea) a friend talk me into going to Olive Garden for lunch. Just soup salad and breadsticks...harmless, right? not when you eat your weight in breadsticks and then get some to go. Thinking about it disgusts me, and thats why when I'm on a binge I don't think alot. and the binge continues. Well I'm putting a stop to it. I've been reading some posts, and it's time for me to get mad. I'm pissed. I dont want my anger to turn into guilt, cuase I'll just use food to make me 'feel' better if I do. But damn it I am mad! I was doing so great and now I just can't seem to get past the first few carb withdrawl days...I want this. This is the plan for me. I need to lose weight and I have good reasons too, my 5 year old daughter being the main reason.

So I'm gonna start being accountable for myself I'm gonna write out my lists of why I want/need to lose weight and tape in all over the house. I'm also gonna put up a saying I heard and I like "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" I had it up years ago and my sister (who is thin, of course) made fun of me for it so I took it down.  I'm going to start posting my meals, even when I mess up, cause thinking it doesn't matter and I can hide or lie about what I really ate is part of my problem. I can't lie to myself anymore.

My "bad" was TGIFriday's, sirloin, mashed potatoes, texas toast, veggies preceded by southwestern egg rolls...all for myself.  That's about 3-4000 calories total.  Not that I did it often, but I know the feeling that follows ("I am out of control.")  A couple of times I ate an entire box of monkey bread once I discovered what it was! 

We've all been there.

IMHO, you need to create an environment that doesn't allow for what doesn't work for you (avoid eating out for a while) and create alternatives.  For instance, if you're a sweet eater and on Low Carb, make low carb desserts at the ready (cheesecake, mousse, etc.).  If you're  a low cal eater make low cal/low fat desserts at the ready.

When you break your sugar addiction (it only takes a week if you go LC), you will be back in control.  What you do from there is up to you.

Realize that these foods and choices are fueling the ongoing approach to these foods and choices.  Know what I mean?

And yes, reaffirm what you want for yourself and why, and choose the path NECESSARY to get you there.  Anything outside that path is a distraction.

Think of it this way...I think of my brother who failed out of college 2x then gave up (and now has the hindrance of a lack of ongoing education).  I went on to get a graduate degree.  What was the difference?  I took it seriously (how much money was being spent--$125,000 on my education) and simply followed the path (go to class, do the homework, study).  It's not hard when you know what's required of you.

What's hard is adhering to it.  That means letting stuff go that keeps you from it.  That stuff, in hindsight, isn't worth it, and you're learning that.

Don't let this make you feel like a failure.  These are lessons that better prepare us to reach our goals. 

sweetie, you know pretty much everything I've shoved down my throat the past week or so but I'll recap...Stared friday I ate an entire bowl or cookie dough then saturday went to reb lobster ordered the lobster spinich dip ate evey single one of the cheddar bay rolls then ordered the ultimate feast wich had shrimp scampi, fried butterfly shrimp, lobster tail and crab legs...drenched in butter and like 5 peices of hubs steak! Next day I ate two bowls or crab dip and ritz crackers which I shared with my brother and we ate about 1/2 gallon of chocolate almond ice cream. The remainder of this time I ate A TUN of trail mix wich is 160 calories for 3 TBSP...I'm sure I ate 3-4 cups of that stuff. Oh yeah I climbed on a latter over the toliet shelf way high and found my husbands stash of godiva chocolate bars and ate 3 of them! Your not alone on the binge eating crap. I'm pissed at myself also for allowing this CRAP! Also, don't let your sister make fun of you for signs, if she does that simply look at her and say "I need that sign to keep me on track, you making fun of me doesn't help any and I don't find it funny" Hang in there girl

Stac

Awwwe, poor Baby Girl, my heart breaks for you because I know the misery you will have to go through now to get your body detoxed.    Try writing down all of the feelings that you are experiencing right now and how miserable the withdrawals feel.  And visualize making yourself actually FEEL them.  Then put those feelingsin your memory and bring them out the next time you want to binge.  Everytime that we fall off of the wagon, if we can learn from the feelings of failure, eventually we reach a point that the food just isn't worth the misery that we will have to go through to get back on.

You were right and your Sis is ignut!  NOTHING tastes as good as thin feels!!!

Mary

Heather....I give you a lot of credit for "fessin up".  BTDT

I really have found that posting your food intake on Janina's "What did you eat today?" helps me to stay on track.  It's amazing how knowing that I have to record a cheat has often been enough to stop me from indulging.

Just a thought...it's working for me (for 10 whole days now...LOL).....I know you were doing Atkins, and that is fine.  My experience was that I felt way too deprived on Atkins and yet I know I am addicted to flour and sugar.  I've been eliminating those two things from my diet and have gotten rid of all my cravings and am still enjoying my fruits and veggies and "healthy carbs".  I don't feel deprived cause I'm having my yogurt (plain LF) and sweet potatoes and brown rice and my fruit...I can't go without my fruit....but trying to stick to choices on the low end of the glycemic scale.  It's really working for me.  It's just something to think about....or maybe even a bridge from bingeing back to Atkins.

I have faith that you'll find your way back on the wagon, girl!!

I agree with Sherrie.  I"m not trying to talk you out of Atkins, I'm sure Sherrie isn't either.  We just want you to realize not every diet is for every body.  If you know that you can make it on Atkins, go for it!  But if you find yourself having lots of temptations, maybe it would be better to think of something that will allow you to eat more of a variety of foods.  Healthy, clean foods!  I can tell you are a fast food junkie like I am, and I know it's hard.  Believe me, I can live off of Taco Bell, McDonald's and Pizza Hut with EASE!!!!   Time for you to soul search and see like Mary said, write everything down.  Maybe something will come out of that.  Lord knows I write on here enough.  Either that or email a friend, heck email me if you want.  Lol, I email Sherrie when I'm weak and depressed.  Everyone needs someone to lean on when they are struggling to make sense of things.  We're hear for ya.

Eat a good descent dinner, veggies and some protein, no reason to starve yourself.  If you are a binge eater like I am, that might trigger another binge.  I  know it would me, especailly after eating so many carbs.   

(((Hugss)))