Do you ever just feel like it's all a joke?

All the excuses I've made, all the "attempts" at losing weight, all the seminars, all the different diet centers, even a one week stay at a very expensive weight loss campus.  Right now, as I look back on all of it, I see lots and lots of excuses.  Excuses like, "I have to do this plan b/c I can't live without _____."  I'm not saying that's not a valid way to pick an eating plan, but for me, it was just one more excuse why I couldn't do the other plan that didn't allow ______.  Excuses like, "I'll start on Monday and then when I stopped on Tuesday, I actually let myself buy into starting the next Monday while I ate myself into another 5 pounds before the next appointed Monday could roll around.  Excuses that weren't really spoken, more just a rationalization such as:  I'll hid the wrappers and eat alone and it won't really matter (as if my heart, lungs, knees, hips, and feet couldn't tell what I was eating and hiding.)  Excuses like, "food is my coping mechanism, I just can't change it."  Well, plenty of people have changed it so obviously so can I.  I can remember exact instances of talking with close friends about this, knowing that we were going out to eat and that I wanted to overeat and this was my perfect excuse - during those times, I wasn't coping, I was looking for a way to get my high.  I look at my little girl, and I think to myself - "She will be me if I don't change now."  I know this is true, but somehow I have always been able to rationalize when I want to overeat.  I have high blood sugar and high cholesterol.  Most of the time, I make excuses for those things b/c they are just a "little" bit over the limit of acceptable and I'm not medicated.  The truth is, I am 32 and the fact that they are even a "little" high is unacceptable and heading in a dangerous direction. 

I'm sure the excuses are not going to stop cold turkey, but I'm hoping that my moments of clarity today will stick.  I know I have to change - not to wear a certain size - not to feel like I fit the mold - of course I want the superficial things too - but I want to live, live a good life, free of pain, free of overeating, free of sickness (as much as I can control).  I value my life and my body - I want to start living like I do.  Pray for me, that I can keep this resolve, this clarity. 

 

 Good Luck to you, I am in the same boat, I am 30 and a mother of 3 kids, I want this time to be different, I also have the clarity and resolve to do it this time, I will pray that you continue on the right path! God Bless! 

Thank you chellelynn.  Have you just started?  I started to lose weight right before Thanksgiving (with some help from an appetitie suppresant).  I just had a really bad weekend of sneaking and overeating.  I hadn't been doing that lately and it concerned me, I guess that's why I was thinking about everything today. 

 I have been working on getting healthy since before Thanksgiving as well, but i just recently commited to a 40 day 3 phase diet, the makers diet, by Jordan Rubin, so far so good, it's a lot more about being healthy than it is a "diet", eating organic, clean foods, cleansing your body and getting yourself mentally and spiritually on board with the whole transformation process. Which in my opinion is a whole different approach to conventional diets, so im excited about it! But what ever you do dont let a slip up get you down or allow you to beat yourself up, this is a journey and a process, learn from your mistakes and be a better healthier person for them, you can do it! and so can I!!

Like I always say, 99% of weight loss is all in the head.  And getting your head in the game is no song, it's an absolute MUST if you are going to be successful on your weight loss journey.

I'm sure that you already know that if your blood sugar levels are "a little high", that you are insulin resistant which is a precursor to type II diabetes.  Sweetie, if you don't get your act together now, it's only a matter of time before you will have diabetes and will have no choice but to be on a diabetic diet, whether you're head is in the game or not.  I know because I have insulin resistance and diabetes runs in my family, so I chose to get off of all of the foods that would lead me down the same path as my Mother. 

Let me fill in one of your blanks.  "I can't give up white bread, so therefore I can't do Dr. Atkins or South Beach, or low carb."  But if you live your life by this statement, and refuse to give up the foods that got you in this position in the first place, then it won't be me telling you to give up white bread, it will be the nutritionist that your doc sends you to to learn about a diabetic diet once your body can no longer process complex carbs.  You're young and your body can handle the abuse for now...but not forever. 

I hope that you can find a low carb plan that you can live with that will give your body a break and help with your cravings.  Focus on changing the way you eat, so you don't give diabetes a foothold on your health.  I do Atkins, and guess what?  I don't have to hide my peanut butter chocolate bars!

Mary  

I have felt the same exact way you have. I have made all those same excuses, and just recently I told myself I was going to start my plan back up on monday (today) and I have, but I could have started any of the days last week. I could have started at noon on saturday, even though I woke up and had a breakfast of twix. You've acknowledged that the excuses are getting in the way, and now you have to acknowledge that it's not going to be easy. It's hard to stick to any plan. But you have to just do it. You've got a great motivator, your daughter. I have a daughter also, she's 5. This weekend terrified me, cuz I saw that she was picking up some of my bad eating habits already. It's gonna be tough, and it may take a lot of will power you don't think you have, but you can do it!! You've already lost over 14 pounds!! Thats amazing! You keep at it, girl! don't give up!! 

99% of it is the head stuff as Mary said.  I've had a weight problem all my life.  I too have used excuse after excuse and I have lost large amounts of weight several times.  I have amazing willpower and I DO think willpower is part of the equation but really, you have to figure out WHY you are eating when you're not physically hungry or when you haven't planned to eat, etc.  It's hard to get to the root of the issue but if you don't explore that, willpower can only get you so far until you have an emotional reaction to something and use food to soothe, comfort, stuff your feelings, etc.
You've recognized your issue, which is the first step.  Think about exploring the head stuff.
Best wishes!
Kim

I will be praying for you!  When I read posts like yours it breaks my heart.  That was me at your age......and now I'm 62 and have continued with those excuses for all these years.  Of course I have had my successes over the years, but never managed to stick with it and keep the weight off....always put it back on plus more.

Right now my goal is only to stick to my plan....no weight loss goals, no dress size goals.....just continue making healthy choices for me.  I know I'm addicted to flour and sugar....one taste and I'm off and running and nothing means as much as that next bite...just one and then I'll start again tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.  I swear I have gained all my weight just getting ready for that "tomorrow" to start the next diet.

You are aware of the possible health consequences and want to be a healthy role model for your little one....what better motivation?  Hope our support here helps you achieve your goals!!

Thank you all for your support.  I feel like I am taking steps in the right direction over the past couple of years.  I am slowly realizing what is important.  I want to weigh less so I can live well, live period.  I think years of guilt and feeling like weight was sort of related to self worth have took a hold deep inside of me.  I used to not admit that weight had anything to do with my self worth.  It was like a sort of "positive denial".  I know what i'm saying is confusing.  I used to act like the way I felt was the way I "wanted" to feel.  I "wanted" to feel like I was not defined by weight but yet deep inside I didn't feel that way.  Anyway, I think I am getting closer and closer to disassociating weight and self worth.  I feel that I must separate the two to be successful.  I have to think of my health as my health and my worthiness as an individual as such.  Thank you all so much!

Thank you all for your support!