Do You Think Ruby Should Have WLS?

Now that we have this 'lovely' new format (  ), whenever you go to your account, you see posts that people on your friends list have made.  An old friend of mine from the plastics board has a post up about all of the diet adds bombarding the tv.  And then she brought up Ruby.  She said she feels sorry for her and all of her struggles and thinks she should just go get the surgery and get it over with because it will take her years to get the weight off and then she will probably not keep it off.

I don't know why this statement offended me so badly...but it got me slightly pissed!  Maybe it's because I can identify with Ruby and I've walked a mile in her shoes, but what's wrong with her doing it without surgery?  Her own doctor said that with her meal plan she was pulling surgery weight loss numbers...without the surgery.

And I don't care how easy you want to make getting your guts rerouted sound, they all have some sort of complication...or a lot of complications, directly related to their surgery.  So if my girl Ruby can do this without it, why feel sorry for her struggles.  You have struggles whether you have surgery or not.  I personally think that our struggles help us to learn what we are made of and make us stronger.  For me, a LOT stronger!

So how do you feel about this?  Should Ruby have Weight Loss Surgery?  I vote...HELL NO!!!

Mary

As you know, I don't own a tv so I haven't seen the show but I have read about her and there are quite a few comments about Ruby here on OH (other boards).  Without a doubt, it seems like the people who answer the posts unequivocally say that they think she should have WLS; that losing weight without WLS won't work.  I don't think any of us can determine that for someone else, only ourself.  My thought is that WLS or non op - none of it will work if Ruby's not ready and/or if Ruby doesn't deal with the emotional reasons for why she eats.
I think WLS is more forgiving (I did NOT say easier), especially for high BMIs - there is some forced compliance, early on.
I think WLS should be a last resort and done only for those people who are well informed of what they are doing and willing to make life long changes.  Sadly I've read about many people who gain significant amounts of weight back, even after WLS.  Of course the surgery can fail but for the most part, it seems that the head hasn't changed.
Long answer to say...I don't know.  Only Ruby knows what is best for her, long term.  I do think it's possible to lose significant amounts of weight without WLS but the statistics are dismal with regard to regain.  Because OH is really a site for WLS folks, there are very few success stories for non-ops.
I don't know what the answer is?  We all need to keep in mind that the weight didn't come on overnight so it won't be lost overnight, WLS or not!  We expect things to happen too fast; always looking for instant gratification.  WLS doesn't provide instant gratification but weight loss is certainly faster than the years it took you and I to lose weight.  Not sure if that's a factor or not?
Anyway, I'm rambling and with the OH glitches, it took me forever to type this so I'm done for now )and not sure it even makes sense)?....'til I see what everyone else says....and 'til I'm back from walking the budz at the park. ;-)

Well...you made perfect sense!  And you make a good point when you say that for her to be successful she will have to deal with the emotional reasons that she eats.  I have a funny feeling that we are going to find out that her emotional reasons for overeating are going to be a DOOZY.  The woman has no memories of her childhood til she is thirteen years old.  I'm thinking that since her sister is saying that nothing traumatic happened in the family, then it has to be something personal that happened to Ruby. 

I hope you enjoyed your walk with RoseBud. 

Mary  

I understand why some, after years of struggle, believe that surgery is the only option. However: what about those of us who cannot or will not have surgery? Should we just give up, start an intravenous ice cream drip and apply as a float in the Macy's parade?

Whatever method of weight loss, this is a fact: keeping the sticks of butter off your butt is hard work. I am in awe of Ruby and her willingness to try. To pity her or decide that her methods are wrong, is judgemental............................and you would think that most of us of the chunky persuasion have learned 'sum sumpin' about being judged.

Ruby rocks, and she should do what is right for her!

Amen Sista...preach it.  I thought their attitudes were a li'l judgemental masself!  Ruby is doing an amazing job and I'm proud of her and I can so relate to what she is going through.  She made be scared to death that she is going to fail, but she is doing all of the right things to make sure that she doesn't.  She's doing what is neccessary to make sure that she gets this right.  And she's learning everything along the way for her to succeed at keeping it off, too.  Like learning to cook...that one just cracks me up!

Mary

(positioning one foot out the do' to run from Mary)....well, yes, I do think Ruby should get WLS. But I ain't her...and as far as I have seen she is not entertaining it - don't believe she has brought it up, which kind of puzzles me in this day and age. From my research into WLS, she is too heavy at this stage to safely undergo surgery; that may be why she is not even bringing it up.

If I am correct, Ruby is 40 and at least has another 200# to go. Chances are not great for her to get it off, let alone keep it off. I must say I am as worried as Ruby is that that trainer of hers is going to injure her - she is very heavy! And he is too gung ho.

I feel sorry for her, me, you and everyone who ever has been too fat.

I completely get it why you are offended! I also agree that her numbers are great w/o surgery and that whatever way she goes, there are struggles.

I don't know Ruby as well as I feel i know you, so damn right she could be just as hard headed as you are - enough to really do this the old fashioned way, for all I know!  But yeah, I think she should get it.

Well Neece, I don't know why you are poised to run from li'l ol easy going me.  I'm embarrassed that you would think I'd EVER give you a hard time. I'm practically as meek as a lamb!  Besides, I ASKED for your opinion, so I respect it whether I agree with it or not.

On U Tube, there are some videos of Ruby and she says that she doesn't want weight loss surgery, she wants to be a role model for others to lose it on their own.  I just got through watching the show and she has lost 104 lbs. in SEVEN months.  That's BETTER than some WLS patients!  I'm so proud of her.  

And you may be onto something when you say that she is just as hard headed as I am.  Maybe that's why I identify with her so much...I believe deep down in my soul that we have to fight for this with every fibre of our being!

Mary

 

no Mary...just funnin ya...you are a kitty kat! I'd only run in playfulness!

And I'd only CATCH you in playfulness!  

Mary

its a psychological phenomenon - i forgot what its called - something like cognitive dissonance or some other social psychology thing. since people who had surgery (hopefully) when through a major period of thinking about it and making a very hard decision to reroute everything as you say, its important for them to confirm that that was the ONLY way they could lose weight. in order to maintain congruence, that means that they cannot accept the idea that someone could lose weight long term without surgery. because if people could do what they did without surgery, that means that really  they could have as well and consequently, they would feel bad about themselves. we play with the way we think all the time in order to maintain our egos and sense of self and self-esteem. you and i know that people on this site can get very defensive if you talk about how it can be done without surgery, so that was always my personal explanation of it.

its kinda like when you are stuck between two different decisions and you finally decide on one, you begin to come up with all these great things about the one you chose and bad things about the other choice, even though they are both equally appealing in reality. anyway, i don't know if i explained it very well but that's sort of the gist of it....i really should learn these concepts better before i take the licensing exam....ha!

i have only seen half an episode of the ruby show and it seemed like she was doing okay with the path she has chosen. there is probably a reason that she is not having surgery at this point. its really not anyone else's business. but of course, we in this forum know that it can be done.