I Feel Left Out

I don't know about allayall, but sometimes I feel like this site doesn't exactly cater to us non-ops, and I'm starting to feel a little discriminated against.  I just read that post about getting back on track and joining the "Back on Track" program and I was thinking, this is great because so many here are struggling to get their wagons in gear.  Turns out it's a program for post surgery patients who need some help getting back on track, not US!  I kinda feel like they just slapped me in the face for daring to even look over there, so why even send us an invitation, if we aren't allowed to go to the party???

And another thing.  There was a lady who popped in over here one day and said that she had decided not to get weight loss surgery.  I made a comment about making the decision to get your guts rerouted was very personal and it seemed like a good idea to me that she had changed her mind since she didn't seem mentally down for that.  I got a PM from a woman who said using the term...guts rerouted...was insensitive and I should watch how I phrase things because this site was for WLS people.    I'm sorry if she was upset, but I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to say that if that's how I feel.  I mean, I didn't go to a surgical board or the main board....I said it on the Non-Surgical Weight Loss Forum! 

I'm sorry if I've ever offended anyone who has had, or who plans to have weight loss surgery.  Sometimes I wonder if this is where I should be or if I need to find another place for non-surgical weight loss support.  One where it's JUST...weight loss support for regular folks.

Mary

Mary,

I agree there isn't much on this site for us BUT this site has helped me more than any other site concerning weight loss.  It's more than just a little section of OH, we're all friends!  Maybe that isn't enough for some, but I know when I need help, or anyone else for that fact, I'm ready to participate in helping them 110 percent.  I want not only myself to succeed, but every single person on this board.  

We can only make it how we want it to be.  So far, I say it's the best one out there regardless of how small we are.  These people that come on here regarding WLS are finding themselves, soul searching to see if it's the right way for them.  I personally think that means if they are calling out to us, they should hear it in many ways from different people.  That includes you calling it rerouting your guts!  Heck, I was one of those people, we all were probably at one time.  Every board isn't going to be for every body, and some people are just a little too sensitive in certain areas of thier lives.  If this is the case concerning WLS,  they shouldn't publicly post asking for others thoughts and concerns.  You did nothing wrong.  That is one of the best things I like about this site, is that we tell it like it is in our own way.  What works for one person doesn't always work for others.  This way we get the nitty gritty telling us in all walks of life!

  So don't ya dare move to another fourm!   Your well loved here. :)  I also popped up on that site and wasn't quite sure if it was for us or not.  But I did see only people with WLS there.  Well...we could always start something like that.  We already have your proud moment posts, we have our daily food intake, why not something about excercising or ?!?!

Awwe, thanks Holl!  You make a very good point...we are all here to express ourselves, and you all know that I am nothing if not brutally honest in expressing my feelings!  Maybe I should tone that down?  

But you're right, ya'll are my family, and I would miss you terribly.  I always worry about my Atkins Girls and how they are doing.  How you and your DH are working out on WW.  How all of my peeps are dealing with their journeys.  If Lori ever finds a good man worthy of her!

I guess maybe I just don't do so good at political correctness!

Mary

what????  I know I have said as much about guts rerouted.  Um, is that NOT what RnY is? It called a bypass for a reason. I guess just cuz ya do not say bypass most of the stomach is just more touchy feely.

I would not worry about that.  anyone considering WLS of any kind had better read it all - the good, the bad the ugly.

Obesityhelp would not have been where I landed unless i had been invesitgating WLS in the first place. I think WLS sales is the primary goal here..."they" are just humoring us who want to - and sometimes have to - battle this the old fashioned way.

Many LS-ers, more than I would guess, have never tried this old fashioned way, just stuffed face and couch potatoed it up til they got sick of it then went to get a re-route, THEN came on in here when they gained it all back. Plenty do, ya know. Depending on whose stats you like, upwards of 75% will have an issue with weight again.

I do chime in at lowcarbfriends too, but there are some wack jobs running that show, so over here tends to be real people with real lives...better not go anywhere, Mary.  i will hunt you down.

     OMG, I thought I was being politically incorrect, but that was PRICELESS!!!  If you were to put this on the main board, we'd all get put OUT!

You hit it on the head Neece, most of the time I feel like I'm being humored.  Especially when they pop up those surveys.  The trail ends when they find out you're not interested in weight loss surgery.  Kinda makes me feel useless, when I should feel proud that I did this on my own.  But don't DARE say that they took the easy way out or you're A$$ will be CHEWED!  I've never said it, but I've seen others take heat for it.  Sheesh!  Holly was right....theyze a li'l 'sensitive'. 

OMG...Neecee hunting me down.  The thought alone is scawwy.  I have a feeling you are like the Canadian Mounted Police.   You always get your man!

Loves ya, ya big nut!

Mary

Well for gawd's sake, anybody who is not scared at all to get WLS has either way more guts than I EVER will or way less than brains than i got. Fear is part of the decision in my mind, and like most things in life, one has to lay the risks against the benefits. All any of us can do.

This site has made me realize that WLS can be the easy way out, it can be the only way out too for folks. I seriously do think a small but significant % of people will never get below a certain weight - one that is still too fat for health - doing all the right things. I know peeps in my life - me included - who the "old fashioned way" is a constant uphill. I am only glad that I am not "too fat" but nonetheless, still fat.

The ones who are trying to get by, the easy way folks,  on WLS alone usually will fail, just a matter of time.

Really, i don't see how it is the easy way - surgery is no laughing matter and can go tits up in a big hurry. It may seem easy if one has little to no complications, but most have some amount of complication to contend with.

But the most valuable thing is that with or without WLS, long term maintenance stuff takes management skills.

Amen, Sister!  I'm not anti surgery at all...as an absolute last resort.  But what I find by reading the surgical boards is that most postops don't receive the kind of counseling it takes to deal with the fact that they are still addicted to food and they can end up with some rather peculiar behaviors as a consequence.  And as far as I'm concerned, maintenance SUCKS whether you've rerouted your guts or not!  

Mary

Rerouted guts, Atkins, WW, starvation, OA, etc - NONE of it works long-term without the head stuff being fixed.  It's so cliche but the new behaviors have to become a way of life and that's not possible long-term if the reasons why one overeats are not addressed and resolved.  That's why the incidence of regain is so high - WLS or not, IMO.

Kimmie, you and I came from the plastic surgery board and observing the behavior of some of those women(not all) from a non-op perspective, well let's just say, we've seen some rather peculiar mindsets!  They've either become weight obsessed to the point of mental breakdown if they gain a pound, or their expectations aren't based in reality and they totally freak if they don't come out looking like Barbie.

And don't get me started on the promiscuity as related to WLS patients.  I don't need stats for that one, I know most of them!

But it gets me back to my point that I don't think they receive enough counseling to deal with the changes in their bodies that happen so fast that they don't have time to adjust to them and they end up not having the coping skills to deal with the changes mentally.  Which is probably how they end up a li'l sensitive!

Ummm...don't tell Boo I said that!

Mary

I just have to say I'm comforted by this post :) I have been searching Google forever looking for weight loss support for the OBESE  and avoided this website because I'm familiar with it, and I know it has been all about WLS. Finally in complete desperation for help I clicked in ;) and saw things had changed since I'd last visited, so I registered and started looking for groups ... EVERYTHING is about WLS. I was even forced to say in my registration that I am here to learn about WLS (which I'm not). Then I found this group, and your post and I cheered inside. 

I used to want WLS really, really bad but the reality is for me, the risks are too great. I will never get it. I'm afraid of what might happen ... and have to go the old fashioned route. ;)

Anyway I would like to believe that at the end of the day, we are all in the same boat. I don't think the WLS is really any great advantage, other then its a great kick-start. I have been following WLS for a LONG LONG time, and I think both surgical and non-surgical weight loss routes are completely identical, except for one, the journey started by going under the knife.  Either way you still gotta do the work. :)