compulsive eating

I have been feeling so out of control lately.  The more guilty I feel, and the more I think about myself dying slowly from all of this the more I want to eat.  I feel out of control.  I literally have to almost hand cuff myself not to eat.  I'm hungry, ALL the time!  What is wrong with me?  I eat more than anyone in my  house.  I know stupid..but man..this sucks!  Talk about compulsive over eater! I soooo bad want to go have a major binge.  It's like a craving, it's awful.  Instead I'm just hungry and eating everything.  Right now I'm hungry again, so I thought writing this out might help.  I need to get a grip on this.

I've also wanted to recommit myself for my daily food intake on here.  I try to post every day, but lately I've been finding myself posting too early and then totally switch what I eat around, or eat more!  Think I need to start posting later and be more honest with myself.  I'm the latest time zone so when I post it's been early afternoon.   I'm a closet eater and I'm starting to feel like I'm being a closet eater on here.  So this is my first step to this problem...fessing up.  :)   I'm praying this works.  Because my husband just joins me and makes almost a game out of it.  It's really pathetic.

My confession

You confessed, thats the first step, right? I know all about being a closet eater. I'm forcing myself to be honest on here, because if i'm not honest online, I'm lying to myself too. I'm way too good at that!   Since I'm on the west coast too, I'm trying not to post what I've eaten until after I eat dinner, then I just have a snack, usually tea before bed. If I can make it through dinner I feel like I've made it through the day.

I'm not much help about the craving thing. I've literally sat on my hands the past couple days trying to resist temptation, and "it will get better" has become my montra.    Just try not to put too much guilt on yourself. like you said, that just makes you want to eat more.  Just take it one meal at a time and try to make good choices. If you mess up, tell yourself you'll do better next time and let it go. (i know, much easier said than done!!)

No matter what, we're here for you Holly!!  

Feeling "out of control" in any aspect of my life is scary for me...hence anxiety and control issues!!

I know what you mean, Holly....have been off plan since the week before Thanksgiving.  It started with about a four day birthday celebration and just seemed to continue.  I haven't done any binging though and have been pretty successful at not falling into the guilt trap...that really seems to have helped.  I have definitely eaten off plan, but in moderate amounts.

I think so often the real culprit is the guilt and shame feelings we experience with eating anything off plan.  They trigger that..."oh well, I've blown it, might as well keep right on eating" mentality that does us all in.  If we can learn to get beyond that and not see anything as "forbidden food", then I think we can get a better handle on things.

I am trying to substitute fruit (presently have small apples and tangerines) at home when I'm craving something sweet.  When I go out and they have dessert, I take a small piece and don't feel guilty about it.  I have put on about  4-5 lb these last two weeks, but not getting overly excited.  I'm trying to get back to drinking my 100oz of water/day (that really helps) and trying to make my carb choices the good ones.  My goal is to get rid of those 4-5lb prior to Christmas and hopefully maintain through another set of holidays! 

You and I are very much alike here and I agree that being accountable each day for what we've eaten helps.  I've gone back and edited sometimes the next day when I've had more to eat after dinner than I had planned to.  My two suggestions would be to:
        1)  Eliminate the guilt factor
         2) Drink lots of water....read somewhere that you're supposed to have half your body weight in ounces of water/day.  I know that would make me about 135oz/day, but I feel like I'm doing pretty well if I can at least get in 100.

Holly Sweetie, I feel so bad that you are having to go through all of this.  I wish there was something I could do to help you, but I'm afraid there is too much about eating disorders that I just don't understand.  So I looked it up.  

Compulsive Overeating

Definition

Compulsive overeating is characterized by uncontrollable eating and consequently, weight gain.  Compulisive overeaters use food as a way to cope with stress, emotional conflicts and daily problems.  The food can block out feelings and emotions.  Compulsive overeaters usually feel out of control and are aware their eating patterns are abnormal.  Like bulimics, compulsive overeaters do recognize they have a problem. 

Compulsive overeating usually starts in early childhood when eating patterns are formed.  Most people who become compulsive overeaters are people who never learned the proper way to deal with stressful situations and use food instead as a way of coping.  Fat can also serve as a protective function for them, especially in people that have been sexually abused.  They sometimes feel that being overweight will keep others at a distance and will make them less attractive.  Unlike anorexia and bulimia, there is a high proportion of male overeaters.

In today's society, compulsive overeating is not yet taken seriously enough.  Instead of being treated for the serious problem they have, they are instead directed to diet centers and health spas.  Like anorexia, and bulimia, compulsive overeating is a serious problem and can result in death.  With the proper treatment, which should include therapy, medical and nutritional counseling, it can be overcome.

Signs and Symptoms

*  Binge eating
*  Fear of not being able to stop eating voluntarily
*  Depression
*  Self-deprecating thoughts following binges
*  Withdrawing from activities because of embarrasment about weight
*  Believing they will be a better person when thin
*  Feeling about self based on weight
*  Social and professional failures attributed to weight
*  Feeling tormented by eating habits
*  Weight is focus of life

Good grief, no wonder you feel so overwhelmed at times.  Unfortunately, all we can do here for you is to help give you some comfort and support, but it sounds like you are going to have to get some professional help on this one.  Hopefully, some counseling that will include your husband in the mix so he can learn to take this seriously. 

We loves ya girlie, and pray that you get fixed soon!

  Mary

       

Aww Holly... (((((HUGS)))))

I promise I know.  When I was cheating for the holiday, I was eating so fast, I made myself throw up (because of the lap band).  I've had this damn thing in my belly for 19 months and I'm still TRYING to binge.  It's ridiculous, but that's just where my mind is.

You're not alone - please remember that at all times.  You're not strange or have an uncommon habit - it's so common that people developed surgery to fix it.  So please never feel alone because of this.  We just need to fix it.

Can you switch what you're eating to healthier snacks?  Like, if you need to eat every hour, can you munch on yogurt w/granola or dry cereal instead of chips? 

I'll be making a confession during my "What did you eat today" post, so please remember that you've got us to support you through this.  We all screw up. 

You're not alone.  I'm a compulsive overeater, and until September when I decided to change my ways, every day had a large binge of some sort and was filled with non-stop bad choices.  I was lucky if I ate one serving of vegetables a day.  Nothing but fried and processed foods.  I can wake up in the middle of the night and eat half of a cake while remaining half asleep.  I would keep snacks by the bedside just for this purpose.  When I have junk food in the house, I am guaranteed to stuff myself with it until I am literally nauseous and then fini**** off when I awake in the night.  I've fallen back asleep with ice cream bars in my hand!  I felt very snacky all of last week - I longed to binge, felt I desperately needed to binge.  I allowed myself more freedom because of the Thanksgiving holiday, but I didn't get entirely out of control (and I'm back to my plan as of today).  But I lust over food and binging.  I'm trying to drill into my head that just because the urge is there, I don't have to act on it.  Sometimes I'll slip, but I must put mistakes behind me and get back on plan.  This is a lifelong committment to ourselves and to our health.  I know it's very difficult, but I try - TRY - to focus more on making healthful choices and less on the scale.  Try to hang in there.  We can do this, one day at a time.   

Compulsions (including conpulsive eating) start in your brain, you need to re program your brain, I read an excellent book long time ago about Psyco Cybernetics which I recommend, try eating slowly, your food will get cold but if you use a heat retentive plate it will stay hot.
Juan J. Ramirez