Abstinence - 222nd Day

Breakfast
1/2 grapefruit
1 cup Total Cereal
1 cup fat free soy milk
1 cup coffee
2 cups water

Lunch
1 small filet barbequed chicken, boneless
1/3 cup mashed potatoes
1/3 cup cooked corn
1 large pear
2 cups water

Dinner
1-1/2 cups Quick Mexican Chili (vegetarian recipe)
1 cup brown rice with 1 tsp. margarine
1/2 cup steamed cauliflower
1 package blueberries
2 cups fat free soy milk
1 Slim A Bear sugar-free, low fat ice cream bar (stickless - like a Klondike Bar, without the guilt)

Last night, I started a new therapy for my overeating and body image, called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing.  My therapist asked me to tell her the first thought or feeling that came to my mind, then she waved her index and middle fingers back and forth, and she asked me to follow them with my eyes.  I did this, and then she told me to close my eyes, take a deep breath, hold it, and let it out, and relax.  Then she asked me to tell her the first thing that came to my mind.  At first, I couldn't think of much, but she kept persisting, and eventually, I found myself crying deeply when I thought of my father (pain, hatred, and hurt), my brother (extreme gratitude for what he's done for me), and my cousin Marcia (pain of loss of her friendship, and pain from a feeling of rejection from her).  I had other thoughts, too, which she had me go through the same process with.  After about 45 to 50 minutes of this, the feelings and thoughts stopped, and I felt emotionally drained and exhaused.  She knew this had been hard on me, and she said so.  I instinctively felt that this was a healing process for me, which is why I will continue it with her from now on, until I am healed.  What that will mean to me, I can't predict at this time.  Will this be a "cure" for my compulsive overeating?  I'm afraid to hope for that, since I've been taught in OA that there is no cure for this addiction.  I'm just going to keep an open mind, that's all.  I'd like to know if anybody else has heard of this kind of therapy, which was developed in California, and patented.  My therapist had to go to expensive workshops to learn this therapy, which I've never heard of before.  It's been used on people with traumatic events in their past, so she felt it applied to me because of my unhappy childhood experiences with both my parents.

Denise Phares/kitties4

Wow Denise, I'm so glad to hear that you are getting some help with all of this.  Your therapist sounds really cool. 

Yes, we will always battle with weight for the rest of lives cuz unfortunately, once you've been obese, your body wants to stay that way.  But everytime we make a good food decision to battle the bulge, it becomes a part of who we are and eventually, it does get easier. 

Congratulations on making it through the session, you're a brave soul,

Mary

I am very familiar with EMDR and I think it is a great therapy for any trauma based recovery.  I wish you many blessings on your journey and the path you have chosen.