Considering not having the surgery

I went to a weight loss surgery seminar in the summer.  It scared me to death and I lost 12 pounds and then gained 7 back.  I was sure I needed the surgery.  I spoke to a dietician and it just clicked, the silly useless ways I've been using food as punishment and reward.  I'm exercising and eating right and I've gone from 245 to 235 in about a month.  I finally feel different and feel like I can do this on my own.  Meanwhile I continue seeing the specialists.  So far everyone is clearing me for the surgery.  I don't have my consult until December 3.  I don't have any other medical problems and am inching toward a 35 BMI.

Any folks in the same boat or advice (for or against).

 I have been thinking about having surgery for years now. I, too, felt that I could do it on my own. I'd get psyched on some new program and lose anywhere from 20-40 lbs but inevitably it all came back, usually with more added on. This seems to be the pattern for most people - there are some who are successful but most are not. They need help.

I finally went to a seminar in March and am now scheduled for surgery on 11/24. I took my time to make sure this was right and now It's time for me to get this done.

Best of luck to you whichever route you take.

Thanks so much.  Excellent food for thought, no pun intended.  Good luck with your surgery, ping me back when you're on your feet.

I'm biased toward nutrition. Nobody ever dumped or died on excellent nutrition.

This particular forum is AWESOME for people who are willing to do what it takes to avoid the knife, or who have had the knife and need that extra gentle nudge to get the scale down to where they want it.

Hang out here.


Ruth

Ruth,

Thanks, I just took a look last night and will keep seeking advice on the forum.  It is an individual decision and will take me some time and hopefully lost pounds to determine.

I can so relate!  I went to an informational seminar in April and proceeded through the process with my three meetings with the dietician and the psychological evaluation.  I even went through some additional group theray (bariatric) to address my emotional eating.  All the while, I had in the back of my mind that I probably wouldn't go through with WLS (lapband) and I'm basically scared of the surgery.  (I am also almost 62)

I backed out in September just prior to receiving my surgery date.  For some reason I just couldn't go through with it.  I lost about 12lb going through the sessions with the dietician but have put them back on and now, once again, restarting that plan.  I still don't know if I made the right decision or not....guess I will never know.  But it is such an important one and INDIVIDUAL one.  I told no one (except my SO) that I was even thinking of the procedure or going through the process. 

I have a much higher BMI than you.  I still haven't given up on the idea that I can do this on my own.  I know it takes much more than motivation and determination, but will probably fight the fight til my dying day.  I still haven't achieved any success on the exercise component...big stumbling block for me.

If your program is anything like mine, after you complete the process you have up until six months from the date of your consult with the physician to schedule surgery.  If you still have doubts, keep doing what you're doing and see where you are at that point.  No one can make this decision for you.  In the meantime you are living a healthy lifestyle...and isn't that what it's all about?

My prayers are with you no matter what path you choose....Sherrie

First of all I think your doing great!  Heading toward a BMI of 35 is great!  You need to give yourself a pat on the back for that.  

As you said, surgery is most definitely a personal decision.  All I can tell you is that if you have any doubts, keep chuggin' at whatever is making you lose the weight and you'll figure it out in the long run.  

I was denied surgery by my insurance company so that put an end to it right there.  But like Sherrie, I really don't know if I would have went through it or not.  It's a big decision, and one not to take lightly!  I personally would want to make sure I gave it my ALL to see if I could lose it by myself first.  Sounds like your already doing that. :)  Especially since you mentioned you've been using food as punishment and rewards.  I do the same thing, and personally...I don't think it would change for me if I had the surgery. Otherwise, you might still have a few food issues you will end up having to work out.  Just a thought.  

Good luck on your decision, it's a tough one!

Back in 2004, my husband had another kind of insurance that would have paid for the bariatric surgery.  I was seriously considering going through it, because you are supposed to lose weight very fast on it.  But the surgery itself scared me, and the regime you had to go on afterwards sounded really hard, and the changes in my eating pattern (like not drinking and eating at the same time) went counter to my normal pattern of eating and drinking.  I finally decided against back then, and then in January of 2005, his employer changed insurance packets, he choose another one, which didn't pay for the surgery.  So I've been cut off from having the surgery.

My main problem is my crummy relationship with my father since early childhood.  He taught me to hate my own body, and to hate myself for being overweight.  He also told me at 13 that I was "gross, fat and ugly" and I believed him, even though I wasn't any of those things!  I started hating my body at that point, and already had an eating problem, too, at that point.

Later, on, his statement became a self-fulling prophecy.  I only found out recently after going to a fine therapist that I've been in a state of war inside myself, going on diets to get thin and please my father, going on out of control eating and gaining weight to show him I could be any weight or size I wanted!  When I was truly losing, I thought inside I was winning, because I knew my being fat displeased him so much.  When I was truly winning, I thought inside I was losing, since my being thin pleased him, and I hated pleasing him, because I hated him period!  What a mess!

Yesterday, my therapist told me that I wasn't a child, nor a rebellious teenager any more.   I was an adult now, and I needed to make my own choices based on my own judgement about what was best for me to do about my health, period.  It didn't matter anymore if being thin and healthy pleased my father, for he's dead now two years anyway!  What matters is doing what is best and most loving for me, regardless of what anybody else thinks of my body or lifestyle!  This is helping to set me free, thank God!

Good luck to you, no matter what you choose.  It is, after all, your choice alone.

Denise Phares/kitties4
 

Speaking as someone who seriously considered WLS, the possible side effects are what scared me to death. I realized I could come out of the surgery just fine but could develop life-threatening problems later.

I decided to take my life back into my own hands. I was responsible for my weight and I needed to take responsiblity for losing it too.  It can be done without surgery. I've lost almost 200 lbs. in less than 3 years. My secret? NEVER QUITTING. I have rough meals, hard days, but everyday I try to make choices to get me to my goal.

Good luck to you!

Oh wow..

Congrats to you!  You have done so well!  I have to say you just gave me chills when I read that your secret was to never quit.  I have been fighting with myself on this board because there is so many success stories.  Although I think it's great, I sometimes wonder if it's only for winners.  But then I sit back and realize if I haven't even done what i"m doing now, I KNOW I would have gained this past year.  Although I haven't lost anything except for yo yoing ten pounds or so, I have learned so much, through everyone here and on my own researching and trying, over and over and over again.  It's an endless struggle.

I sometimes think of all the newcomers that come here and then disappear.  Is it because they haven't lost any weight and just give up?  I often want to yell out weekly and remind everyone to STAY on the board.  If not here, some where else.  I might not have lost anything this past year, but there is no way I'm giving up on myself, EVER.  Because I know if I didn't, I would at LEAST be twenty pounds heavier if not more right now.    So I really liked what you said.

Again congratulations, you should be very proud of yourself.