Effort vs Obsession
Lor, I SOOOOOO do NOT know where that line is between being committed and being committable. I really don't.
In your case, seeing you meltdown periodically (like most of us do here to one degree or another), I think what he means is, the quality of your life seems to be affected by the number on the scale! Seriously, is THAT worth it?
I am exactly where you are - trying HARD to get over the hill on this last 20-30#. I am not ready to stop trying to lose it. So, the temper tantrums, histrionics and psychotics will continue as part of that effort!
On the other hand, before I get on a scale, any scale, I have to work with my crazy mind first - or stay off the damn thing.
I tried never looking - gained weight.
I tried always looking - gained or maybe lost it slowly.
I am trying to check in every 3-6 weeks for a reality check with the scale. It tends to let me down.
Girl, all we can do is try to change our perspective on all this. I think this is done by:
loving our bodies every step of the way every day doing things we really don't want to do (skipping or eating way less of certain foods, exercise, journaling, etc).
We HAVE to do all these things ...or else...and I'd rather be a crazy ho than a fat ho any day.
In your case, seeing you meltdown periodically (like most of us do here to one degree or another), I think what he means is, the quality of your life seems to be affected by the number on the scale! Seriously, is THAT worth it?
I am exactly where you are - trying HARD to get over the hill on this last 20-30#. I am not ready to stop trying to lose it. So, the temper tantrums, histrionics and psychotics will continue as part of that effort!
On the other hand, before I get on a scale, any scale, I have to work with my crazy mind first - or stay off the damn thing.
I tried never looking - gained weight.
I tried always looking - gained or maybe lost it slowly.
I am trying to check in every 3-6 weeks for a reality check with the scale. It tends to let me down.
Girl, all we can do is try to change our perspective on all this. I think this is done by:
loving our bodies every step of the way every day doing things we really don't want to do (skipping or eating way less of certain foods, exercise, journaling, etc).
We HAVE to do all these things ...or else...and I'd rather be a crazy ho than a fat ho any day.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
The kicker is that this man has NEVER seen me melt down.. lol I'm so in control of my emotions and very guarded in how I express myself. YOU PEOPLE have seen my emtional melt downs more than anyone else.
Yea... the quality of my life IS affected by my weight. I have defined myself by my size and by the number on the scale... but what does this tell me? It tells me to DO SOMETHING about it instead of just *****ing and moaning and not doing a thing.
Ok.... obsession.. I'll accept that word.. but how the f*ck is it bad?
"and I'd rather be a crazy ho than a fat ho any day"
You just summed it up in a single line.....................
The question is: IS IT REALLY OVER? Is it true that I will never lose another pound? Is it true that I can't get under 200 lbs? Hearing this from a professional just really rocks my world when all the while I've been believing "I just have to work harder". Then along comes mr. PHD telling me... give up.. it's never going to work? THAT hurts!
Yea... the quality of my life IS affected by my weight. I have defined myself by my size and by the number on the scale... but what does this tell me? It tells me to DO SOMETHING about it instead of just *****ing and moaning and not doing a thing.
Ok.... obsession.. I'll accept that word.. but how the f*ck is it bad?
"and I'd rather be a crazy ho than a fat ho any day"
You just summed it up in a single line.....................
The question is: IS IT REALLY OVER? Is it true that I will never lose another pound? Is it true that I can't get under 200 lbs? Hearing this from a professional just really rocks my world when all the while I've been believing "I just have to work harder". Then along comes mr. PHD telling me... give up.. it's never going to work? THAT hurts!
(deactivated member)
on 9/17/08 12:48 pm, edited 9/17/08 12:49 pm
on 9/17/08 12:48 pm, edited 9/17/08 12:49 pm
Well I'd rather be a stiletto ho than a crazy ho or a fat ho......LOL
Lori:
I don't think your "obsession" is negative in the sense that you are working towards a goal of being healthier and loving yourself. What I will say and I found this out the hard way SEVERAL times in my life........being thin does NOT make you happy - I have lost and gained 100 pounds so many times, I lost track. I think the key to my success this time is that I got happy first and loved myself and the weight came off after that. In fact, I had the MOST self-esteem about 50 pounds heavier than I am now....which would be considered FAT (and before any PS). It's a daily struggle...or obsession, if you will, to love myself but I keep at it every day, hoping it will finally 'stick'.
Keep at it girl. Don't let a shrink....who frankly has NOT been schooled in weight loss, metabolism, etc. derail you from your goal. Work with your shrink on being happy with who you are and continue to pursue your obsession.
You're an inspiration to us (and don't argue with me about that ;-) 
Kimmie
well, yeah, he chose an odd bunch of words..I would let him know how it made you feel! He does not have a crystal ball...he has no way to know when your body is "done" losing weight. which is preposterous...it may have slowed, but hell's bells, there is another key or tow to try first beforeannouncing defeat.
I'd at least announce that YOU are not done yet. I know for me, I am seriouly not sure I am willing to do what it appears that it will take to lose this last stubborn load.
I mean, he my have a valid point in there somewhere- again, just not to freak out and to work more on giving yourself credit on how far you have come.
I'd at least announce that YOU are not done yet. I know for me, I am seriouly not sure I am willing to do what it appears that it will take to lose this last stubborn load.
I mean, he my have a valid point in there somewhere- again, just not to freak out and to work more on giving yourself credit on how far you have come.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
Well .. baby.. I AM NOT DONE YET! I AM NOT GIVING UP YET!
I've called the local hospital to find an endocrinologist - yes... it's going to be complicated getting in because they need referrals and I have no local doctor, but it's a good place to start.
Last night, I ate in my sleep. I haven't done that in YEARS, and I don't remember doing it but I found the evidence on the counter this morning. I ate a large portion of that chili I make (nothing bad in it..but the quantity was too much). I also see that I ate 2 servings of sugar free/fat free cheesecake instant pudding. I made the whole box and used 1/2 bar of cream cheese and 1 tsp of raspberry flavoring. I made it earlier in the evening and gave Jon 2 servings, and put the rest in the fridge. I found the empty container on the counter this morning. That's at least 8 carbs per serving with the half and half and heavy cream I use in it.
I didn't realize I ate anything funky until I awoke at about 5:30 am feeling like I just mowwed through a thanksgiving dinner. I'm tempted to do the nasty, but who knows what time I did this. The first thing I did was check my blood sugar which, oddly enough, is only 118. The second thing I did was get on the scale "213".
I don't think the professionals realize the adverse effect some of their comments have... how highly suggestive some people are. I must have "given up" while I was sleeping! OH no I don't.... I've always been good at fighting authority.... and just because I'm having a difficult time losing right now, I am NOT going to let difficulty stand in the way of my obstinence when it comes to professionals.
Here is truth: If I would have listened to professionals, I would either be dead by now, weigh bout 400 lbs, or have had a foot amputated. We pay professionals for their opinion, but not all opinions are applicable to each individual situation. If I would have stayed on insulin, I certainly would have been 400 lbs. The pain, burning and difficult healing was all doing some dangerous things to my feet and legs up to my calf - and the lyrica, amatryptline, neurotnin etc did not help. STOPPING THE INSANE SHOOTING UP OF INSULIN is what helped... AGAINST medical advice.
Sometimes we have to trust our instincts. My instincts tell me that this fat lady hasn't sung yet!
For those of you who are very close to your goal, or at your goal..... couldn't it have been a level of obsession that helped you get there? C'mon.. no one can tell, me that massive weight loss isn't one of the most large scale endeavors one has done. it's emotional.. it has roller coaster effects on not just body, but mind.
all I know is that DIS BIATCH may be tired... but I have not yet begun to fight this!
Obsession.... sometimes it's a good thing!
I've called the local hospital to find an endocrinologist - yes... it's going to be complicated getting in because they need referrals and I have no local doctor, but it's a good place to start.
Last night, I ate in my sleep. I haven't done that in YEARS, and I don't remember doing it but I found the evidence on the counter this morning. I ate a large portion of that chili I make (nothing bad in it..but the quantity was too much). I also see that I ate 2 servings of sugar free/fat free cheesecake instant pudding. I made the whole box and used 1/2 bar of cream cheese and 1 tsp of raspberry flavoring. I made it earlier in the evening and gave Jon 2 servings, and put the rest in the fridge. I found the empty container on the counter this morning. That's at least 8 carbs per serving with the half and half and heavy cream I use in it.
I didn't realize I ate anything funky until I awoke at about 5:30 am feeling like I just mowwed through a thanksgiving dinner. I'm tempted to do the nasty, but who knows what time I did this. The first thing I did was check my blood sugar which, oddly enough, is only 118. The second thing I did was get on the scale "213".
I don't think the professionals realize the adverse effect some of their comments have... how highly suggestive some people are. I must have "given up" while I was sleeping! OH no I don't.... I've always been good at fighting authority.... and just because I'm having a difficult time losing right now, I am NOT going to let difficulty stand in the way of my obstinence when it comes to professionals.
Here is truth: If I would have listened to professionals, I would either be dead by now, weigh bout 400 lbs, or have had a foot amputated. We pay professionals for their opinion, but not all opinions are applicable to each individual situation. If I would have stayed on insulin, I certainly would have been 400 lbs. The pain, burning and difficult healing was all doing some dangerous things to my feet and legs up to my calf - and the lyrica, amatryptline, neurotnin etc did not help. STOPPING THE INSANE SHOOTING UP OF INSULIN is what helped... AGAINST medical advice.
Sometimes we have to trust our instincts. My instincts tell me that this fat lady hasn't sung yet!
For those of you who are very close to your goal, or at your goal..... couldn't it have been a level of obsession that helped you get there? C'mon.. no one can tell, me that massive weight loss isn't one of the most large scale endeavors one has done. it's emotional.. it has roller coaster effects on not just body, but mind.
all I know is that DIS BIATCH may be tired... but I have not yet begun to fight this!
Obsession.... sometimes it's a good thing!
Lor, i can see looking back in the beginning i was obsessed...it graduated down to a clear commitment to my health. I think that's also where you are...
I think one has to get snake-eyed, get downright mean about all this. Change is hard, never mind to stay mean and focused!
The word obsession must have a clinical definition that is never healthy, think Play Misty For Me.... I think we toss it around to be funny.
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
This obsessed biatch just had a lovely argument at the pharmacy, then got downright demanding on the phone with the doc's office.'
The drugstore said I only had 10 lasix left in my rx and didn't want to give them to me (while, at the drugstore, I was on the phone with the doc's nurse talking about this fluid up thing and she's telling me MAKE SURE YOU TAKE THAT LASIX EVERYDAY"). Gee... Sev.. I'd love to but they won't give them to me... so . TAKE CARE OF IT before I haul off and hit this ***** behind the counter"!. (Ps.. the ***** heard it loud and clear and disappeared from my sight quick and sent a man to help me.. who happened to be a very pleasant man.... not a nasty asshole). So I get home thinking I had at least the 10.. and there are THREE in the bottle! FREAKING ********!
Then I told Sev that I found an endocrinologist in the area.. and I want a REFERRAL NOW.. not in three days.. not next week.. not when my sugar is so high that I'm bouncing off the walls.... but NOW! I'm up 7 lbs in the last few days and I want to know WHY! I never get like this with them.. REALLY. I don't.. I love my doc.. I love his nurse, but frustration took over and I made it clear that I was not going to accept "I don't know" for an answer anymore!
They went over my kidney studies and said my kidneys are functioning fairly well considering 10 years of uncontrolled sugars. There doesn't appear to be any nephropathy. My answer was "I DON'T CARE... FIND OUT WHY THEY AREN'T WORKING"! Instead of letting that be the end of it I told her I want to know #1. Why can't I lose another ounce #2. Why am I fluid upping between 10 and 20 lbs every few weeks.. meds or not! I told her I thought it was the vicodin but again, that was rebutted with a big fat "that's impossible". I told her I went off all meds and took 'em back one by one and when I got to the xanax and vicodin.. WHAM.. fluid up! I went weeks with anxiety attacks and hives and pain I can't describe just to figure this out. Now.. If I have the BALLS to do that.. I want answers!
I told her "my shrink says I should stop trying to lose weight... stop working out twice a day.... stop "obsessing" over what I eat.... She said "NO.. do NOT stop now".
I'm driving to Florida for an appointment next week to get some tests and go over eveyrthing with a fine tooth comb.
I may be obsessed..... but I've seen many folks here take it a step further by consulting with their physician. Either we get answers, or we get an "I don't know". Well... I won't accept "I don't know" anymore. I cannot afford a bariatric physician (they won't take my United Health Care for ANYTHING which has to do with bariatrics). So.. Doc W has got to dig deep into his medical expertise and work with me!! THAT'S THAT!
Next.. Jon.... who is telling me that paying for the gas and hotel room right now is not feasible... to him I said "F*CK YOU and the HORSE YOU RODE IN ON". FIND THE MONEY! I'm not quitting for YOU or anyone else or he can start PAYING me for his meals and laundry and listening to his boring work bull**** every freakin' night.
This isn't obsession.. this is frustration. I AM going to lose this weight! How's THAT for obsession, determination, or.. "snake eyed".
go on.. call me a ***** it actually turns me on! Sometimes being a ***** is all a woman has left to hold on to!
The drugstore said I only had 10 lasix left in my rx and didn't want to give them to me (while, at the drugstore, I was on the phone with the doc's nurse talking about this fluid up thing and she's telling me MAKE SURE YOU TAKE THAT LASIX EVERYDAY"). Gee... Sev.. I'd love to but they won't give them to me... so . TAKE CARE OF IT before I haul off and hit this ***** behind the counter"!. (Ps.. the ***** heard it loud and clear and disappeared from my sight quick and sent a man to help me.. who happened to be a very pleasant man.... not a nasty asshole). So I get home thinking I had at least the 10.. and there are THREE in the bottle! FREAKING ********!
Then I told Sev that I found an endocrinologist in the area.. and I want a REFERRAL NOW.. not in three days.. not next week.. not when my sugar is so high that I'm bouncing off the walls.... but NOW! I'm up 7 lbs in the last few days and I want to know WHY! I never get like this with them.. REALLY. I don't.. I love my doc.. I love his nurse, but frustration took over and I made it clear that I was not going to accept "I don't know" for an answer anymore!
They went over my kidney studies and said my kidneys are functioning fairly well considering 10 years of uncontrolled sugars. There doesn't appear to be any nephropathy. My answer was "I DON'T CARE... FIND OUT WHY THEY AREN'T WORKING"! Instead of letting that be the end of it I told her I want to know #1. Why can't I lose another ounce #2. Why am I fluid upping between 10 and 20 lbs every few weeks.. meds or not! I told her I thought it was the vicodin but again, that was rebutted with a big fat "that's impossible". I told her I went off all meds and took 'em back one by one and when I got to the xanax and vicodin.. WHAM.. fluid up! I went weeks with anxiety attacks and hives and pain I can't describe just to figure this out. Now.. If I have the BALLS to do that.. I want answers!
I told her "my shrink says I should stop trying to lose weight... stop working out twice a day.... stop "obsessing" over what I eat.... She said "NO.. do NOT stop now".
I'm driving to Florida for an appointment next week to get some tests and go over eveyrthing with a fine tooth comb.
I may be obsessed..... but I've seen many folks here take it a step further by consulting with their physician. Either we get answers, or we get an "I don't know". Well... I won't accept "I don't know" anymore. I cannot afford a bariatric physician (they won't take my United Health Care for ANYTHING which has to do with bariatrics). So.. Doc W has got to dig deep into his medical expertise and work with me!! THAT'S THAT!
Next.. Jon.... who is telling me that paying for the gas and hotel room right now is not feasible... to him I said "F*CK YOU and the HORSE YOU RODE IN ON". FIND THE MONEY! I'm not quitting for YOU or anyone else or he can start PAYING me for his meals and laundry and listening to his boring work bull**** every freakin' night.
This isn't obsession.. this is frustration. I AM going to lose this weight! How's THAT for obsession, determination, or.. "snake eyed".
go on.. call me a ***** it actually turns me on! Sometimes being a ***** is all a woman has left to hold on to!
While I'm not "obsessive", I am obsessed with staying at my goal weight, and feeling awesome. I drive people crazy when I chide them for drinking chemically sweetened drinks, and other (IMO) bad practices. I chug down the water like I'll never see water again. And I faithfully follow my chosen method of weight and health control. I'm a walking example of what I teach in my business because I don't believe you can teach one thing and practice another and face yourself.
I'm one of the frequent flyers on the bathroom scale. If it creeps up 3 pounds, I'm on task to drop those babies ASAP.
If I had a shrink, or other adviser, tell me to stop "trying" ANYTHING I had my heart set on, it would bolster my determination to do exactly that. Do not tell me what I can and cannot do.
You absolutely can achieve your goal. Has anyone ever done it? Then you can. What limits you to what some person with a degree tells you is your limit?
I did an exercise with a group of 50 people at one of the training weekends for my business. My talk was called "Think the box outside" and focused on how there isn't really a "box" to think outside of, because we create the boundaries ourselves. Rather than thinking outside a box we have to claim exists, I had them think that box they created OUTSIDE themselves so they could break it down.
I passed out these shirt boxes, and I had the people look at the four edges as the places they have determined their "I can" stops and their "I can't" begins. I had them write the point at which they stopped the "can"... if that makes sense. What I said was, to write that place at which their ability, in their mind, ends. Example would be "I can speak at YOUR dad's funeral, but I can't speak at my dad's funeral". You have established a "can't" for yourself there. It's not real. It is a wall of words. So I had them write those things at the edges of those boxes, and then we burned the boxes. While it may sound odd, it was very liberating for so many of the people.
You, my friend, are far more powerful than you are allowing yourself to be. Nobody and no THING has control that you haven't given them. Take it back.
In answer to the last two sentences in your original post, we absolutely should keep trying, and I always have tons of thoughts.
Thirty pounds is not an easy thing to lose when it's all you HAVE to lose. I did it. Hundreds of people I know have done it. So I confidently say, if SOMEONE has done it, then ANYONE can do it. They just have to find their way. If one way seriously does not work, then another way must be tried.
Here's a little favorite excerpt from the book 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson. (LOVE IT, RECOMMEND IT) When a baby decides to start to walk, it's a struggle. They spend far more time falling on their little butt than they do taking steps. What Jeff asks is... so does the baby give up and say "Oh well. I guess I'm just not cut out for walking. That's okay, I and just crawl around for the rest of my life. It's not that bad..." NO WAY! That little determined baby just keeps trying and falling and trying and falling. But one day, a little tiny baby step at a time, she walks. The only failure is quitting.
Don't quit.
I'm one of the frequent flyers on the bathroom scale. If it creeps up 3 pounds, I'm on task to drop those babies ASAP.
If I had a shrink, or other adviser, tell me to stop "trying" ANYTHING I had my heart set on, it would bolster my determination to do exactly that. Do not tell me what I can and cannot do.
You absolutely can achieve your goal. Has anyone ever done it? Then you can. What limits you to what some person with a degree tells you is your limit?
I did an exercise with a group of 50 people at one of the training weekends for my business. My talk was called "Think the box outside" and focused on how there isn't really a "box" to think outside of, because we create the boundaries ourselves. Rather than thinking outside a box we have to claim exists, I had them think that box they created OUTSIDE themselves so they could break it down.
I passed out these shirt boxes, and I had the people look at the four edges as the places they have determined their "I can" stops and their "I can't" begins. I had them write the point at which they stopped the "can"... if that makes sense. What I said was, to write that place at which their ability, in their mind, ends. Example would be "I can speak at YOUR dad's funeral, but I can't speak at my dad's funeral". You have established a "can't" for yourself there. It's not real. It is a wall of words. So I had them write those things at the edges of those boxes, and then we burned the boxes. While it may sound odd, it was very liberating for so many of the people.
You, my friend, are far more powerful than you are allowing yourself to be. Nobody and no THING has control that you haven't given them. Take it back.
In answer to the last two sentences in your original post, we absolutely should keep trying, and I always have tons of thoughts.
Thirty pounds is not an easy thing to lose when it's all you HAVE to lose. I did it. Hundreds of people I know have done it. So I confidently say, if SOMEONE has done it, then ANYONE can do it. They just have to find their way. If one way seriously does not work, then another way must be tried.
Here's a little favorite excerpt from the book 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson. (LOVE IT, RECOMMEND IT) When a baby decides to start to walk, it's a struggle. They spend far more time falling on their little butt than they do taking steps. What Jeff asks is... so does the baby give up and say "Oh well. I guess I'm just not cut out for walking. That's okay, I and just crawl around for the rest of my life. It's not that bad..." NO WAY! That little determined baby just keeps trying and falling and trying and falling. But one day, a little tiny baby step at a time, she walks. The only failure is quitting.
Don't quit.
Most Active
Recent Topics
