I think I have developed anorexia...
I have lately become OBSESSED with calorie counting and at times, refuse to eat at all. Today I brought in a wrap for lunch and some chili and felt absolutely guilty at the thought of eating it. Even last night after I packed the lunch, I felt like someone was forcing me to eat it.
I threw the food away after a few bites of each and felt such a big feeling of relief like, 'Thank god now I won't put any calories in!'
Eating has become an undesired 'have to' on my daily list anymore. I constantly weight myself and if I don't lose at elast a pound in like 2 days, I get angry.
Does this sound like anorexia? If so I think I should see a nutritionist....but they will just make me eat meals in the day and I dont like to eat because I HAVE to.
I don't know much about anorexia but if your behavior is worrying you, you should see a nutritionist/psychologist/therapist.
I can make a suggestion: An RNY will shrink your stomach down to almost nothing and you literally won't be able to eat much, so that should make your craving for not eating happy.
I've never suffered from anorexia, because I cannot stand the idea of starving myself. It does sound like you're abit obsessed with losing weight, and you do need help. Yes, talk with your doctor, and also, I'd recommend attending a few meetings of Overeaters Anonymous. We all suffer from the food obsession, whether you get absolutely desperate to lose weight as fast as possible (this has been an obsession for me from time to time - it drives me and those around me crazy), or you don't want to give up eating large amounts of food, and prefer to purge it either by laxatives, throwing up, or both.
I feel scared for you, because it seems like losing weight fast has become the most important thing in your life, and you've stopped truly living! Please go to Overeaters Anonymous meetings and talk with some of the people there. They will truly understand where you're coming from, and they won't judge you, either. I don't know if your doctor is judgmental or not, but sometimes they can be, because they've never experienced the food and weight loss obsession like we have.
Denise Phares/kitties4
Having said that, I would need more information to say definitvely that you do have an ED. this recent loss you see is about 12.5# average monthly - that is a good healthy rate.
We talk about this type of thing here and there - hell, all of us are a little OCD or crazy compulsive over our food plans. It IS part of the scenery when we lose weight, the idea being that when we were fatter, we did not scrutinize food intake so much.
While we are learning about what to eat, how much, blah blah blah, it is very easy to feel like you do: start to label foods as good bad - WE are good or bad when a "normal" person does not think of this stuff ever, usually!
Do you get me here?
I think that give it time, be grateful for the loss! Eat for fuel, health and let flavors and tastes be secondary. Be grateful that you are not battling hunger like so many of us do!
Chances are you will plateau soon and not lose much, so go with it, Girl!!!
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." ~Mark Twain
It's really difficult to be "obsessed".. isn't it? It's exhausting...but in some ways I think we're compensating for years of not worrying about it. IMHO we have to obsess to reach our goals like with anything else we want to accomplish, but at some point our behaviors can be more damaging than helpful. I learned early on that having an eating disorder was the most exhausting thing I've done in my life - time to take a break. :) No... I was never anorexic, but I used to actually try to figure out how to put myself in that mindset. Binging/purging and bottles of magnesium citrate was my icky thing even though I lost no weight doing it.
Before it gets out of hand I would employ the help of a counselor/therapist now - rather than when some habits are set in concrete. This is probably the best thing I've done for my weight loss plan to date. It takes some work to learn your triggers, but in the interim we learn why we do the things we do. OH .. not that knowing "why" stops us - but addressing the underlying triggers really helps me want to do something good for this temple.. showing my body respect instead of disdain.
Think about why you want to lose this weight. Is it to punish yourself or get healthier? If it's to punish yourself, therapy is essential. If it's to get healthier, therapy will help you avoid hurting yourself.
Good luck and God be with you!
Lori
