What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud?

I'm proud that I finally got my sister who has type 2 diabetes to go on Dr. Atkins diet.    She was having too much of a hard time understanding the diabetic diet and dealing with the tiny portions.  I told her about the success that Lori was having and gave her Jerse's great Low Carb Friends site, and we are going to town tomorrow to buy all of her supplies.  I think that's the secret to Atkins, you have to keep a lot of variety on hand or it gets boring.  Man I wish I liked sugar free Jello!

I'm curious about something that I would like to bring up.  When you were at your biggest, how did your weight affect how you felt when you had to appear in public places when the focus was on you?

For instance, I used to sing at a lot of weddings.  I hated getting dressed knowing that people would deliberately be LOOKING at me.  I just wanted to find a place to hide.

Last year I had to testify in court and I wore a RED suit!  (Which is now too big)  Since the big ol boobs and belly are gone, when they called my name and I had to walk to the front, I was so proud that I didn't have to take that "Walk of Shame" and I could hold my head high.

Let me be a cheerleader here for a minute.  I KNOW how hard it is to do this EVERY STINKIN' DAY of our lives and how tedious it can get.  But there is a payoff at the end of this road so 'keep on truckin' and never give up...only you can make your life better!

 I love all of you,

Mary 

At my biggest, I became aware of my breathing and not being able to keep up. I know I wasn't the only one noticing especially when someone ask, "Why are you breathing so hard?" or " Are you coming?" I often walked around looking at the ground because I had myself convinced people were staring a****ching and talking or cracking jokes about me even they weren't. I walked around in shame. Now, I hold my head high knowing the accomplishment I have made so far. I am proud of it and I want the world to know.

Beth

I know a lot of people feel like people are looking at them or ridiculing them when they're not.  I was more of the sort to think, nothing to see here so nobody was looking!  Of course, I dressed in black or dark colors, so in my mind, I was on "stealth mode".

Congratulations on ALL of your accomplishments,

Mary

I'll tell ya...  being that big kept me from leaving the house at all most of the time.  I would NEVER expose myself to so many people at one time.  I skipped church a lot because I was ashamed of myself.  I would bring things that I needed to bring to the church during office hours..  I also had a key for other things and I could do it when no one was around. 

The worst part is that there were some things I couldn't resist.. but it was hard to get there.  Like seeing CSNY in concert a couple of times, and the worst was Bowie.  It was a lot of walking to get to our seats, and I felt very conspicuous, but I couldn't let my kid miss out on those experiences.. so I sucked it up and cried about it the next day.  At the end.. I just wouldn't go.  I had tickets for Casting Crowns and a couple of weeks before the show I told Jon I couldn't go out in public anymore and gave him the tickets to sell on Ebay.

I'm glad your sister is taking this step.  It's really not difficult!  She may have to adjust here and there as she goes.  She might see things she's really sensitive to and just change it up a little.  Testing is really important during the induction period.  She can see what she responds to as well as watch what's happening.  A lot of Type II's I've known say they take their medication and don't even think about it.  After 4 or 5 days of induction, there will be a considerable change in the numbers....  so they have to adjust the medication.

Have you tried doing that sugar free jello with sugar free whipped cream?  I push the nozzle into the middle of the jello so it goes all through it.

Yummmm, anything tastes better with whipped cream in the middle.  I'll give it a try on the dark cherry Jello...the only one I like.

Thanks for the info about the medication.  She has finally gotten good about checking her blood sugar.  I think she was afraid it would be bad so she did nothing.  I used to coddle her and try and talk her into weight loss for her health.  Lately, I've taken off the gloves and told her that the reason it's going to be so hard is because she didn't take care of business when she was diagnosed and now it's her fault if she has to deal with it the hard way.  I've found out that ******g her off and taking the blows makes her think about things for days.  Things she never thought about before.  So it's all good if I get beat up,   as long as it does her some good.

Well I'm glad you got over that not leaving the house thing...how else would you get to the gym?

Mary 

When she sees those numbers go down, she'll feel like she got an extension on life.  All of a sudden it wont be good enough to get under 200... she'll have to be under 150..  then not 150, but 125.. down to 80!!  This is the one of the few places that I believe obsession pays off. 

When her doctor's eyes pop out of his head in front of her when he reads the test results... it'll make it worth it. 

Getting over leaving the house was a hurdle.. and it was NOT, not, not, not easy.  I walked into the gym almost apologetically like I needed their forgiveness for me polluting their atmosphere and insulting the skinny people's delicate sensibilities.  I still don't face the mirror when I lift - I let my trainer watch my form so I guess I'll be using a trainer for a very long time.  I turn with my ass to the mirror when I do bench rows and lay the other way on the bench when doing incline press.  I have a phenomenal desire to be "normal".. even if it's just for a while.. just one more time.  It won out over my desire to stay anonymous.

oh .. we do the dark cherry sugar free jello too!  It's a nightly treat for Jon!  I can only do so much jello before I want to barf so in times of desperation, I stick a teaspoon in the cream cheese and eat it like I'm eating ice cream!  LOL

 

 

 

I'm proud that I stuck to my plan for two weeks.  Today I only did 2 hours total at the gym and one of those was weights.. so I worked as planned, and the plan is working.  Monday I get to start blowing it out again, going twice a day.

I got on the scale and saw 208 today.  Several hours later I was back up to 209, but this is a good indication that the plan is working.

I do hope you realize that the second time you weigh in one day, the weight of everything you ate and drank during the day gets on the scale whitcha.  I'm just sayin'.

Now if you could just bottle that enthusiasm for going to the gym, you'd be a wealthy woman...cuz I'd be your best customer!   As hard as I've tried not to over the years, I still associate getting ready to work out with shoulder pain from the weight of the utters.  I know...I have ISSUES!  And my damned endorphins don't work!  I'm amazed I exercise at all.

Have fun Monday  

Mary

I love you all, too! Thanks for being here.

At my largest I felt invisible, and that is an awful feeling. I work hard at looking fat people, (all people, really) actually into their eyes. Ever realize how very little we LOOK at each other like we give a damn how that person might feel today? Even the person behind the counter at the store..

I got rude, mean spirited comments, especially from teenaged boys/young men. Stuff like, How about a dollar lady for a ******* but i will want change?  Move it, fatty. Mooo.

(GAWD is my witness i will kill my GS's if they ever ever are mean to another human being, let alone a fat woman. Hell has not seen the fury of this granny!)

In my work, I do have to get up in front of lots of people to speak. As a fat person, i pull and tug on my clothes...now, i can concentrate on my message rather than how i look.

Today, my proud moment was to do a 1.5 hour bike ride fast as I could go before work!

Awwe Neecee, I wish I could give you a big hug   for every time someone was mean to you because of your weight! 

I doubt that they would have the nerve to take on Mighty Bike Girl these days!  With your leg strength you could put a hurting on 'em with a swift kick to the....ummm 

Mary