Ok, someone told me I was posting in the wrong forum,this IS the non -surgical isn't it?

I never noticed big people in high school.  By the time I was a teenager, my brother was a very big boy so I think I was just immune to it.  Lemme tell ya.. when it was on my OWN ASS (there we go with the ass again), I surely noticed BIG time!  Well, I can't count on my ass for fun so without my hair I'd have NO personality at all!!

OMG.. got a flashback..  I remember how skinny, skinny my sister was ...ooooooooh

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....am feeling a sudden urge to call my sister and breath heavily and hang up LOL but knowing her she'd enjoy it :) She was the one that was 'petite' never had a weight problem unless you count her slug of a loser boyfriend in HS...that was about a 175lb. loss we all were praying for!!  But she was tiny, cute, straight perfect no split ends kinda hair....never ever had to worry about food, and then I came along, curly hair, tall... even though I was never fat I was always on some diet...and had more curves than the rest of my classmates....and a pretty bad self image, cause I thought I was fat and disgusting and looking back now at pictures, my hubby one night said, 'you were a hottie baby'  and I thought WHO are you looking at????  Its kinda sad how one sister can have all the self confidence and better body image while the other is never seeing herself for who she really is....but hey, I did get the brains (still trying to figure out how I missed the memo at birth time on that one) so there is something :)

I remember this pathetic incident that just seemed to repeat itself the entire time we were kids....mom would get us a hershey chocolate bar sometimes when we were little.  We each had a little drawer in the kitchen that we could keep our little private stash of things in.  And my sister put her chocolate bar in there. I put mine away.  But of course mine was gone by the next day. And wouldnt you know it, little miss cuteasabuttoncandyhoarder took over a MONTH to eat hers!!!!!!!!!  I never saw her actually eat the dang thing either, she must have nibbled one flake per day!! I was dyinggggggggggg. You have no idea how much I resented that and how much I lusted after her bar!!  Hmmm....maybe more people on this site do know the feeling :)  I think that whole thing in my childhood caused me to be a closet sneak eater too.  Yes, my weight gain is all my sisters fault!!!!!! 

Ah that felt better :)

Yeahhhhhhhh.. you just had an emotional ******!  LOL   Good for you!

I'm from a completely dysfunctional large family.  We ate cheap.. that's all I know.. LOTS of macaroni and PB&J sandwiches.  I think what I've been swallowing for years is my mother's disdain for my lack of perfection.  Yeah.. she had six of us, but only one counted and that was ok.  He was the only one that counted for the rest of us girls.  Ah.. well...  the whole deal was completely toxic and it only took 45 years of life to figure that out.

I always saw myself as "fat and ugly".  Well... I kinda got that image beat into me by my older sisters.  So.. I ended up treating myself with a complete lack of respect.  Drinking, drugs, food, sex - whatever was handy.. always looking for a "feel good" from someplace.  I definitely preferred the pill, liquid and powder forms of "feel good" to food from the time I was about 12/13 years old.  (Actually.. come to think of it..  I was 8 and my sister was 9 when the 13 year old twins gave us our first bottle of Boone's Farm Apple wine so we wouldn't tell on them).  Food was a last resort when there was nothing else.  When the going gets tough.. the tough swallow handfuls of benzos to chill, lots of powder to keep going (cook it up for a special treat), then plenty of tequila to come down.  When there are no more of those, we swallow burgers!  LMAO  (I'm glad I can laugh at that).  I binged on drugs, binged on food in cycles throughout the years.  Wow..  that was an epiphany!  All the while it was a big, God sized hole in my heart that needed to be filled.

Ok.. I'm outtie for SURE this time! 
THANKS for the enema.. I mean.. memory!

Be Blessed!
Lori

OMG....you just triggered such a memory!  My brother was 4 years younger than me and skinny (I was a chubette from age 2).  We would travel cross country in the summer camping and would usually get a candy bar each when we stopped for lunch.  I would IMMEDIATELY hop in the back seat of the station wagon and gobble mine down in two seconds flat!  My brother would fondle his in the wrapper for about an hour (alternating holding it under my nose) and then offer to sell it to me....for the highest bid, of course!  Well, food won out over cash every time for me...no choice there.

BTW, this was also the brother who would start the trip with a $20 bill and everytime he wanted a pack of gum or something would say to my parents...."all I have is a $20, will you pay for this for me?"  The little creep would come home mega rich...not only his $20 that he had never cashed, but also all the money he had made selling me his candy bars!!   LOL   

Just a foretelling of the future I guess....he's still skinny and has more money than I do!!

Welcome aboard....glad to have you join us....Sherrie

That is so wild!  That is wild!  He's still skinny with more money.. how utterly freaky is that.

I remember my brother and eldest sister bribing me to walk to the store to get them cigs by giving me an extra dime for a cupcake when I was like 5. LOL    That relationship changed though.. when I was older I had to do stuff for them for FREE!  LOL

Wow, you know what's weird about that? I was the skinny sister who could take a month to eat a candy bar. My sister, who has well over 100 lbs to lose, also blamed (blames) me for a lot of her issues with both food and weight. We have a great relationship, however she will suddenly eat 5 football players' worth of food when I'm around. Conversely; I am physically unable to eat many times when we're together... whoa. Psychology is a strange science. I'm now "thin" again, having been up to a weight many women would kill to get down to. I realize this, and I'm not insensitive to the feelings of other girls who have had their weight get way, way out of control. I know I was headed that same way, had I kept up my new bad habits. My husband says I have a "thin brain". Alarms go off when I get 5 lbs over my ideal weight. When I let myself go to my highest weight, I sort of did it happily like... whoo hoo! Look who gets to shove ice cream and candy in her mouth!!! Then I got disgusted and thought I should drop it in a couple of days. Fortunately for me I almost did... but that's another story.

It's hard to be the skinny sister who is resented. I love my sister, and it hurts me to see her literally killing herself slowly with food. She'll do great, and when it seems she's making progress, something deep inside "goes off" and she downs a bag of M&Ms and I don't mean snack size. AND she's diabetic. She's lost one toe so far, and most of the feeling in both feet.

My passion is health, whatever size body that comes in. But I simply do not believe we can be "healthy" and severely overweight. You'll never convince me of that, because I've read too much. I know what poison lies in the evil fat cell... *shudder*  So I continue to work on my own health daily, living as an example, and keep doing the simple disciplines that keep me at my goal weight. Then, like last week, I'll go enjoy a frozen yogurt with all the toppings!!!!  It's all about balance.

I have to literally NOT BUY things that tempt, like crackers and cookies, however I've totally lost my CRAVING for them. I just don't court them at all. I drink 4 -5 20 oz bottles of water a day. (600 ml) I do my awesome shakes every single day that I'm not cleansing. And I move it so I won't lose it!

I no longer enjoy Hershey bars. :-) I have developed more sophisticated tastes!!!!

Boy oh boy I can totally relate to your sister though...that 'snapping' is the addiction rearing its ugly head.  I have long since given up on trying to explain to a friend, co-worker or family member that food can be an addiciton as well!  One co-worker one day said to me, "well, if you'd just stop eating Chloe"

Realllllllllllly?  Just STOP EATING?  oh wow!!  You mean you have had the answer all this time and didn't share it with the world???????????
It reminded me of once going to see a movie with a friend...and we stood by the ticket guy trying to decide what to see, and she said..well we can't possibly go to see such & such (I can't remember now which one it was at the time) and I said...oh, why? She said...oh the title...I am sure its not good.  She had the answer, but had no clue what the movies was about :)

Even though it can be hard to do sometimes, I am really trying to not making any assumptions until I try the other persons shoes...but it does irk me when so many people can easily accept any other addiction, but food well, how can it be an addiction if they aren't obese or they aren't numbing themselves.  Your sister has an addiction. One that is not understood by many unfortunately.  But those of us who know what its like to snap and down something we know is not good for us, and half the time, if not all the time, we never even  taste it past the first bite anyhow, we just keep stuffin...well we know all too well that food addiction is very real.

I always say that if I had 'chosen' booze instead of food, I'd be a raging alcoholic...wouldn't be able to stand up....but  my addiction is food, and the numbing you can feel from a binge or even just a bag of M&Ms can feed that addiction. But like other addictions, that 'high' doesn't last very long and you feel like crap afterwords.  I do feel for your sister though*hugs.

Oh and the crackers? lol I hear you on that one...that is a huge trigger food for me, well, cheese is, but crackers is always in the same sentence lol I have found too, that if I dont buy it, it wont end up on my arse...Funny though how sometimes those 'foods' just jump into my shopping cart!!!! (gasp!!) And my husband is one of these ultra fit blonde blue eye Aussie men who grew up surfing and playing footy and rugby who is always active and can burn off anything he eats into muscle...arghhhhhh....But he too, had to learn alllllll about addictions lucky lad (his is beer, not surprisingly being australian, its like water to them)  but he also has seen me fit too..so he knows what I can do when I really work at it! 

To the Goddess!

As all the other fine folks said, this is a mixed group of people who have walked different paths to reach their goals. Some are falling down once in a while, but as one of my mentors says, they fall down still facing the right direction.... I have several friends who have had WLS. 3 have had lapband, and one gastric bypass. Three of four still needed additional nutritional (rhymes) support to reach their goal weight.

I have been studying weight loss and health for the past two years, and have been mentoring with this amazing guy from Montana who beat a life threatening disease with nutrition alone. Once we are free from our retail appliance store, I'll be pursuing this full time.

Meanwhile, I find humor and inspiration on this board. It's fascinating to see how each woman (mainly - don't see LOTS of men) is getting in control of her own demons and is making success happen. Future Legend, for instance, just inhales paint fumes. Ha ha ha ha.

Congratulations on your choice, and I'll mail you a map and a flashlight from Seattle WA if you'd like help finding your way.

Ruth Shapovalov
aka Mom Shap

Oh Puleeeeze... if I could get high off those paint fumes, I'd probably paint the house every week!  LOL

hi ruth!!!!!!  My moms name too...I have to say your pictures look amazing....so I am making one of those so called educated guesses here that you didn't have any type of WLS and just worked your tail off to get to looking so good? :) (o****alm down, not that you dont work your tail off w/WLS....disclamer disclamer) Well yes PLEASE all the juicy gorey details. I love a good success story (why do you think Im counting the days to the next Biggest Loser season...I crave that inspiration right now) I am always first in line for the PEOPLE 100 pounds or more sans surgery issues too...anyTHING to see there are more of us out there. Misery loves Company? lol 

I did write to one man the other day who lost 300 with the sleeve...impressive.  Was it hard for you to see friends losing so quickly? Why you just chugged along? As much as I DO have so much respect and admiration for any one who loses any chuck of weight by any means (well not the cocaine diet....not much respect there..sorry to upset any who might be on this one :) but it isn't always easy when your friends are losing at twice the speed you are etc.  But we all get there at our own pace right? Just as long as we get there.

But I do have to relate a very funny story one of my JennyCraig board buddies told me over the weekend.  She does a yoga class.  And a few weeks back in her class...two women began to chat about how they were losing weight.  Well, one of them had lost 65 pounds in 3 months by following the most boring 'diet' book in the world...the Eat Less but healthy, Exercise More plan ....and in that same class there was a lap band patient who had been banded 6 months total and had lost 45 pounds in 6 months...the two woman were both around the 300 mark too.  I guess it got soooooooooooo heated in the yoga class (MEOW lol) that the instructor had to actually step in and physically separate them!!! I just had to laugh...just visualizing it all.  I guess they are now in different classes.  But I can read in many of the posts here too, that there is a bit of an underlying rivalry(maybe not the best adjective here I know)between the nonsurgies and the surgies(another bizarre visual on the ensuing battle in spandex).....its a normal human reaction to it all...but hey, we all need to do it our way and not someone elses....I do have to chuckle though ay people who pretty much are telling me that 'I'm come around' eventually and have surgery...like its a cult...and its only a matter of time before I become one of them lol

Hey who knows? Maybe I will, maybe I won't.... I may down the road decide to go the surgery route...and if I do, it wont be lapband that much I know. Its just not for me thats all.  But I am finally losing on the program that works for me...so why not stick it out? Besides, those of us who know what its like to be smaller, healthier...ok, YO-YOers....that its not the losing part that is truly the difficult thing...its keeping it off Now thats a horse of a different color altogether...and one day I want to put that beast out to pasture!!!

and yes the map and flashlight would be most helpful..Im a natural klutz though so you better have some sonar/radar installed on it as well!

and Lori.....the paint fume diet? hahaha Sign me up!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I just had to do something this morning here in the office with one of those bigass Sharpies and begame halucinating!!!!  Hey, what can I say? Always been a cheap date!